But we don’t see this level of leadership in the Muslim world today, instead we’re seeing a rapid decay of world impact. We’re witnessing a serious inferiority complex growing in our Ummah; As individuals, we feel inferior to non-Muslims. As businesses and organizations, we feel inferior to mainstream corporations. As an Ummah, we feel inferior to other Nations.

Why is this happening and what can we do about it? Read on…

Inferiority Complex is Real

To know your weaknesses in comparison to others is to be insightful and humble but to harbour a lingering sense of inferiority as a result of this awareness is dangerous. For example, knowing that your colleague is great at public speaking is not the same as feeling that your public speaking skills are worthless and will never improve in time regardless of how hard you try.

In today’s world, we’re immersed in a culture whereby looks, wealth, status and all things materialistic are used as the metric for success. Deep down we know that our spiritual values guide us away from idolising or chasing the material world but at the same time we’re saturated on the outside by people seemingly living exciting, glamorous and beautiful lives. It can be all too tempting to compare our own lives with the façade of today’s hyper-airbrushed world and this constant comparison quickly erodes away at our confidence and spirituality.

Post-colonialism seeded the idea that our western counterparts are somehow better. Although this may not be a conscious thought, it can manifest in our thinking and action in many ways. We can look at the lives and success of our western peers and so easily be drawn into the fantasy that they have the upper edge in this dunya. Sadly, left unattended this feeling can develop into an inferiority complex not just on an individual level, but an Ummah level as well. 

Abul Hasan Ali Nadwi describes the decline of Muslim leadership and causes in his book Islam And The World (pg 173):

Dazzled by the power and progress of Western nations, Muslims began to imitate Western social and economic institutions regardless of the consequences, although they were much inferior to their own and consisted of little more than the ardent pursuit of material success. The prestige of religon was diminished. The teachings of the Prophet ﷺ were forgotten. All those ideals of life, which truthfully displayed within themselves both the spiritual and the temporal aspects of life and did not subordinate the former to the latter, ceased to impress the minds of the great mass of Muslim society. Their place was taken by ideals far inferior to them. Life was filled with frivolous desires and occupations to a degree that it had to eschew religious and spiritual craving and activities. If one were to compare the daily occupations of present-day Muslims with those of the aforementioned specimens of the old Islamic civilization, one would find it hard to believe that both professed the same ideology or that only a few generations separated one from the other.

Along with the distractions of this dunya constantly tugging at the soul, we’re also subject to the whisperings of Satan, who’s sole mission is to make us unappreciative beings.

[Satan] said,  “For leaving me to stray I will lie in ambush for them on Your Straight Path. I will approach them from their front, their back, their right, their left, and then You will find most of them ungrateful.” (7:16-17)

If we’re not mindful of his influence and don’t take precautions to fortify our heart and mind with God-consciousness, we become even more vulnerable to his evil ploys. One of the ways he tries to enter the heart is by weakening the mind.

What is an Inferiority Complex?

An inferiority complex is a feeling of inadequacy that’s not based on any rational judgements. It’s an emotionally-led feeling that holds us captive to constant comparisons which may drive us to wanting to be and act like others, and have what they have in order to feel good enough. 

This feeling turns us into thirsty travelers on a desert land, constantly chasing the ‘mirage’ of what others have but never quenching our thirst with the water bottle that’s around our neck.

We can see examples in our Islamic history of people who rather than holding esteem in their faith, turned towards external factors to find a sense of self worth. 

When Musa (as) and the children of Israel were saved from the tyrannical grip of Firoun (Pharoah), they witnessed first hand the Divine help of Allah SWT.  They were freed from oppression and could live in peace under the prophetic leadership of Musa (as). But not long after the miraculous passage across the Red Sea, they came across a group of people who had taken up idolatry worship and the ignorant amongst them turned to Musa (as) and asked him to “make for us a God just as they have Gods.”

They forgot Allah and fell prey to the insidious idea that the faith they possessed was inadequate in comparison to what they perceived the people they encountered had in terms of faith and provisions. The seeds of inferiority had taken root within them. 

“We brought the Children of Israel across the sea and they came upon a people devoted to idols. They demanded, “O Moses! Make for us a god like their gods.” He replied, “Indeed, you are a people acting ignorantly!” (7:138)

In the tafsir of Ibn Kathir (r) he said:

“It appears that the Children of Israel probably asked these people why they worshipped these idols, and they most likely told them that whenever they seek help from them they help them, and that they seek their provision from them. The ignorant ones among them may have been tempted to believe it, and so they asked Musa (as) to make a similar god for them as well.”

This is an example of how in the absence of God-consciousness we can falsely conclude that happiness and success lies in the superficial platforms promoted in a Godless society. 

We can see parallels of how the inferiority complex is playing out in individuals, organizations and in Muslim society at large today. Let’s take a closer look at each of these levels. 

Inferiority complex in Muslim Professionals

Have you ever stepped into work with feelings of trepidation? Feeling very conscious that you’re different; acutely aware that the sound of your name is different, the colour of your skin is different and that you have a set of rules and a value system that is not aligned with your workplace peers. 

If we bring sharp focus to this, what can it stir inside a person?

For my client, Aisha, it made her feel like she didn’t belong at her workplace. She was a teacher working in an affluent neighborhood surrounded by a predominantly white upper class community. Rather than seeing herself as the intelligent, capable person that she was, she subconsciously felt second-rate to her colleagues and so therefore always felt inferior. This inferiority complex rooted itself in her words and behavior; she would always aim to be agreeable even if she held a different opinion and felt the need to prove her self-worth in everything she did. 

“Never think that you’re not good enough. A man should never think that. People will take you very much at your own reckoning.”

Anthony Trollope

As this quote suggests, we teach people how to treat us. If we see ourselves as inferior, it makes it more likely that we will be seen in this way by others too. 

Moreover, the state of the believer is to know that there is khayr (good) in every situation as related in the following hadith: 

“Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affairs are good and this is not for no one except the believer. If something of good/happiness befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something of harm befalls him he is patient and that is good for him” (Muslim)

Staying mindful of this helps us to elevate our thinking by the mere act of seeking the khayr in all situations, creating awareness in the heart of the blessings and opportunities present in the moment as opposed to dwelling on the negatives and how we’re perceived. 

With this in mind, Aisha and I discussed an alternative perspective; perhaps Allah had given her an opportunity to be a role model and dispel myths surrounding the Muslim stereotype, that she showed great courage by the sheer fact that she goes in to work every day and upholds her values concerning manners and dress code. Immediately, this fresh perspective gave her more confidence in her true identity and strengthened her connection to Allah. The inner critic that would constantly compare her to others started to wane and she no longer felt the compulsion to fit in. 

This feeling of not fitting in is all too familiar for the Muslim professional working in a predominantly western environment. The term “cultural cringe” is defined as an internalized inferiority complex that causes people to dismiss their own culture as inferior to the cultures of other countries. Inadvertently, we may feel the “cultural cringe” factor with our religious orientation too. In not wanting to feel alienated from social groups or hindered from potential work opportunities, a person might dismiss some of their spiritual practices and strive to adapt to the more commonplace practices of their environment in order to fit in and feel on par with their colleagues. 

Regularly missing prayers, not requesting time out for Jumu’ah, feeling awkward about wearing a hijab or growing a beard, dropping inhibitions and placing oneself in inappropriate environments may be some of the casualties of such sentiment. In reality, this can create an internal conflict between one’s spiritual values and the desire to be like others, resulting in anxiety, stress and internal worry. Social anxiety: the fear of being rejected by others, can be one of the biggest triggers for the inferiority complex.

With these emotions brewing inside, the inferiority complex can feature front and center. Feeling that no matter what you do, you just can’t hit the mark or won’t be seen as worthy by others. Even high achievers can feel like failures and imposters. The constant second guessing and feelings of being a second-rate worker hinders performance levels. Confidence dwindles and this can branch off in two ways. 

1. Shying away from opportunities out of fear of being “caught out” and not speaking up with authentic thoughts

2. Overcompensating behavior such as bragging to mask the feelings of insecurity.

Both these positions invite the ego to lead the way and we’re then left with ego-led behavior.

The Messenger of Allah (saw), said, “The strong are not those who defeat people. Rather, the strong are those who defeat their own ego.”

Sharḥ Mushkil al-Āthār 1645

A sense of inferiority is not a cognitive thing, it’s an emotional sense that is carried around privately and painfully. The emotions that can arise range from hopelessness and helplessness to anger, resentment, envy and defensiveness. 

A person can feel completely incompetent at her job even though objectively they’re great at it but that’s the nature of the beast – there’s no rational thinking. You can be completely disconnected from the objective perceptions others may have of you to the extent that there is an outright refusal to see any evidence to the contrary of your beliefs, placing one squarely in the victim-mindset.

Inferiority complex in Muslim organizations

Muslims look to the west and see successful companies: The Googles, Apples, and Teslas of the world Often these companies adopt practices that are foreign to our traditional ways and sometimes these practices are against Islam – yet as mentioned previously, the generalized feeling of inferiority stemming from the idea that we are inadequate and that our ways of doing things are not good enough, can make us blindly follow in the footsteps of these companies as a result. And in the pursuit of success, we may become negligent of our spiritual obligations.

For example, we’re seeing a burgeoning growth in the Muslim entrepreneurial space. There are now Muslim companies competing in the Fortune 500 arena and the Muslim spend is now worth trillions of dollars and is a recognized sector on the world business platform. Although there is this growth, we can also see symptoms of the inferiority complex growing alongside this trend. 

In today’s world, we see Muslim organizations and companies:

• Fully immersed in hustle culture, working staff to the bone
• Relentlessly following formulas of mainstream organizations and copying Silicon Valley and corporate America in hopes of achieving the same high levels of success.
• Feeling a general sense of inferiority to the western world and as a result producing substandard products and services – believing this is all they are capable of? 

What if, instead, Muslim companies adopted sunnah practices with yaqeen (certainty) that Ar-Razzaq (The Provider) will deliver barakah-filled results? A few examples of such practices are: 

• Adopting an Abundant Mindset of mutual benefit and cooperation when dealing with competitors vs. the Scarcity mindset of cut-throat competiton.
• Adopting a Gardener Mindset with work where you set good intentions, work hard, but detach yourself from the results.
• Fulfilling the Sunnah of paying workers before their sweat dries (a concept now known as Pay On Demand)
• Working with staff to develop them spiritually, just like we develop them professionally.
• Organizing and structuring the day and meetings around prayer times 
• Organizing business plans around the hijri calendar (#GoHijri) and even paying staff and offering holidays according to Hijri calendar. 
• Being at the forefront to protect female employees from sexual harrassment and ensuring safe and mutually respective working relationships between genders whether online or in-person
• Creating time for employees to take a Qailulah (short mid-day nap) as was the practice of prophet Muhammad (saw).
• Making the intention of the business not purely about financial gain and profit but about service to the community and Ummah at large.

The above ideas may seem ‘crazy’ in our modern corporate world, and may feel “unprofessional” – but what if thinking of the above as ‘crazy’ or ‘unprofessional’ is actually your inferiority complex talking to you? Yes, maybe not all of the above ideas are practical on a day to day level – but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be encouraged to explore and experiment with ways to grow our business with Barakah!

My point is this: Instead of feeling like the success formulas of corporate America and the like were the only valid ways to create successful companies, what would happen if Muslim organizations placed more faith in aligning the structure of their company and workday with faith-based practices such as the ones mentioned above? With the doors of barakah opened, imagine how this could yield even greater results. 

Inferiority complex in the Ummah on a global stage

In the same way that the children of Israel began to develop a sense of inferiority and feeling “second-rate” to the community of pagans they encountered, we can see parallels in our modern day society with the Muslims of today experiencing similar emotions. The media surrounding our religion is awash with labels such as Muslim terrorists and extremism. Muslims are under constant scrutiny, and this has made us sensitive and defensive. As a nation what impact might this have on our mindset and how are we responding as a result?

Here’s a few ways in which the inferiority complex has taken root in our ummah today. We may find ourselves:

• Desiring to imitate aspects of non-Muslim lifestyles even though it is prohibited for the believer
• Minimizing the importance of certain aspects of our religion because it’s not convenient and feel it will hinder our life goals
• Not standing up for Muslim suffering globally due to political and economic pressure.
• Judging Islamic principles through a liberal secular lens.
• Find ourselves viewing certain practices as outdated concepts and not fit for purpose in today’s world
• Only valuing a practice in Islam if the science community or an academic validates it. For example, we know that fasting Mondays and Thursdays is a highly regarded sunnah, but did we only take it seriously when western scientists concluded that the 5:2 diet was a legitimate practice?

Very often the inferiority complex is on a subconscious level, so most people are not even cognizant to it. However, we need to take a very conscious look at our intentions, choices and actions in order to determine whether we have mindlessly adopted some of these frames of thinking. 

Islam is the last Divine Message to Mankind. We have the blueprint to live a life that is the most balanced,  wholesome, and decent. Yet as a nation, we may have drifted away from this way of life because we have fundamentally forgotten who we are, where we came from and our ultimate purpose in this world. 

And in this lies the antidote. 

The antidote to the inferiority complex

An inferiority complex is fueled by the desire to attain the same levels of power, status and success as those perceived to be in superior positions. In order to shatter this complex, we need to bring our hearts and awareness to the ultimate source of power and honour. 

“Whosoever desires honour, power and glory then to Allah belong all honour, power and glory…”?!

[ 35:10]

For the sincere believer, it is known that only in obeying Allah can one find honour, power and glory in this world but more importantly in the next. Holding tight to this reality, secures the heart of the believer from ever feeling inferior to any other culture or creed. It removes the temptation to yearn for what others have in the worldly sense as faith in Allah is what brings a level of contentment that far outweighs the love for anything else this world has to offer.  

We are the children of Adam. 

We are from the ummah of Prophet Muhammad (saw).

We can call ourselves Muslims because of the greats in our history; the noble prophets, the companions of the prophet and the generations to follow who sacrificed their lives so that we can practice today. 

We have been given tawfeeq (direct guidance) to believe in the Oneness of Allah whose guidance and Help we know is always with us. 

With this identity deeply embodied in the very fabric of our soul, we can stand confidently in any environment holding tight to our values and be fearless of worldly judgement. We can navigate any workspace or social gathering with firmness in our Muslim identity. Our hearts will steer away from feeling any form of inferiority complex or victim-mindset or FOMO (fear of missing out) because there is peace and contentment found in the promise of Allah: 

“So do not become weak, nor be sad, and you will be victorious if you are indeed true believers.”

[ 3:139]

Alongside this understanding, it’s essential to create time for muhasabah (self-evaluation) in order to become more self aware, to be aligned to your fitra and increase in confidence that is rooted in Allah. 

And it is for this reason that I developed the Confidence Masterclass – a transformational 6-week journey that combines Islamic spiritual practices with modern psychology to help Muslim professionals develop spiritually-centered confidence and remove any feelings of insecurity and inferiority.

During this masterclass, you will be guided through the Belief Model framework – a systematic process designed to help you strengthen in all aspects of life pertaining to spiritually rooted confidence.  

For example, Imran decided to join the masterclass to work on his spiritual confidence using the Belief model framework. Prior to this training and despite having a good job, family and comfortable lifestyle, most days he would wake up feeling uneasy and unsettled. He was feeling the pressure of constant comparisons and spiritually weakened by the busyness of life. However, after he completed this training, he described feeling more internal peace as a result of developing a stronger reliance upon Allah and how increased self-awareness gave him more control, emotional grounding and confidence in himself and life choices.

Let’s take a deeper look at Imran’s outlook before the training and how he felt at the end of the masterclass training…

After working his way through the Belief model, Imran is a more confident, healthy, balanced individual who is still ambitiously working towards his life goals but with an active focus of how his work in this world can connect to the next. He’s no longer as concerned with external judgment or trying to fit in; his heart, mind and soul have found contentment in his deen and his feelings of self worth are rooted internally by his connection to Allah.  

“Verily, Allah does not look at your physical features nor your wealth, but Allah looks at your hearts and actions.” (Muslim)

When we keep our sight firmly fixed on Allah, the fear of others dissipates. The inferiority complex disappears and what’s left is an energy, focus and determination to create meaningful lives with the hope that the reward will come in this life and extend to the next.

The post How Inferiority Complex Is Hurting You and the Ummah (and How We Can Fix This) appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

Amina was hesitant to approach management as she was worried about losing her job or creating a commotion at work. What I found most interesting was the fact that although she was describing all the physical symptoms she was experiencing as a result of work stress, managing her health was nowhere on her radar. Our time together involved examining her life purpose and what the best version of herself looked like. As she explored, she began to appreciate the link between her health and spirituality. She no longer was willing to fulfil the demands of her workplace at the expense of not fulfilling the rights of her body.

Along with shifting her outlook, she reconnected with her life’s purpose and built on her Tawakkul. This helped her generate a deeper level of courage; one that was driven by her trust in Allah. Amina realised that Rizq (sustenance) is from Allah and was no longer willing to compromise her physical or spiritual health.

Armed with this newfound courage, she rose above any concerns of compromising her career path at work and took action.

I’m pleased to say, she approached management, discussed and agreed on new work boundaries but when work kept pressing and demanding, she had the courage to walk away and is now busy setting up a new business, one that is close to her heart. Even though this process has not been easy, Amina says her life has much more meaning and this gives her a much greater sense of inner peace and fulfilment Alhamdulilah.

Many of us hesitate in life, just like Amina did, and step back from taking action because we get so caught up in our fears and worries. Perhaps we wanted to share our point of view but felt too uncomfortable or nervous to say what’s on our mind. Or we received negative feedback and responded in a defensive manner that we later regretted. Or we saw someone treated unfairly and turned a blind eye because we didn’t have the confidence to speak up. 

If any of the above sound familiar, it is my hope that this article inspires you to follow in the footsteps of our prophets (peace be upon them) and take the path of courageous action when faced with challenging situations. This is the path that I’ll be teaching in my upcoming 6 week – Confidence masterclass (learn more here) designed to help you:

• Stay in control of how you receive and respond to negative feedback; this includes not reacting impulsively or from a place of ego and being able to create moments of pause to determine your most mindful and best response.
• Take action and speak up in alignment with your authentic self even in the face of doubt or difficulty.
• Develop a heart filled with Yaqeen (certainty) and Tawakkul (trust in Allah); enabling you to make those harder choices knowing His Help is near and whatever He decrees is always for the best.

We tend to think of courage from a modern day perspective to mean believing in oneself, taking purposeful action regardless of any personal risks, to drive forward with confidence during times of fear and uncertainty.  

But what if there’s a deeper level of courage that we need to tap into…a level of courage that can be learnt from prophets which could yield even greater results.

Prophetic Examples of Courage

The courage of our Anbiyah (peace be upon them) was rooted in their Yaqeen (certainty in Allah). This created the highest levels of courage within them because it influenced how they saw themselves, situations and what they believed could be achieved. They knew that along with their efforts, they had the Help of Allah. They knew their vision was limited but with Allah’s support, they could create unimaginable outcomes.

Their hearts and actions were aligned with this ayah:

As a Confidence coach, I have spent the last 6 years researching, studying and coaching people on how to develop spiritually centered confidence (Article: What is Spiritually-Centered Confidence?). This experience combined with my research led me to create a framework called the Belief Model designed to help others generate those higher levels of spiritually rooted confidence.

Here are few Prophetic examples which illustrate courage using the Belief Model:

We can see from the above examples that developing this level of courage enables you to tap into deeper levels of your potential, helps you stay connected to your true self and see past other people’s judgement. With modern day understanding of courage, we are still limited by our self belief but with this spiritual framework of courage, the possibilities are far more expansive.

Why is it important to develop Prophetic Courage?

With Prophetic courage, we could walk the intentional path knowing in our hearts that even micro actions can achieve macro results – the Barakah Effect! We could find comfort in the knowledge that there is an infinite powerful source supporting our own efforts. Too often we get distracted with seeking self-serving dunya results. However, having a mindset that relies entirely upon Allah would help extend our goal line to seek outcomes beyond our self and to serve our Hereafter too. 

For example, if you approached your manager at work requesting space to perform your compulsory prayers, exercising that spiritually fortified courage could result in a designated prayer room used by generations of Muslims to come! 

But what happens if they say no?

Even if management declines your request, this courage will allow you to continue to fight for your right to pray despite any career or social impact. Your priorities and actions will be driven by a more meaningful purpose and any concerns will be washed away by a deep sense of trust that Allah will take care of you and reward your efforts.

Armed with this courage, your conduct and interactions with others could also change the way all Muslims are perceived and treated in your work environment. Speaking up against an unjust practice that’s been in the family for generations, could pave the way for an entire culture to be changed.

The blessing in this model of confidence is that the less self-centric we become, the more our real confidence can grow.

Our Islamic history is rich with inspirational examples of courageous people who embodied bold spiritually rooted confidence in the face of the most unthinkable situations. When they relied upon Allah, their courage took on an even greater form, which enabled them to take on bigger tasks. Their actions reverberated for centuries afterwards, affecting generations of people and their faith. Their courage was nourished and nurtured by their love, reliance, and Yaqeen in Allah and that gave them superhuman-like strength to stand firm in the face of huge tests. 

For example, Nusaybah Bint Ka’ab (radiyallahu anha) was the first female warrior in Islam. During the battle of Uhud, Muslims started to flee the scene as they faced impending defeat. Upon seeing this, Nusaybah ran in the opposite direction straight into battle to shield the Prophet (saw). She fought so bravely to protect him, that he made duaa for her and her family on the battlefield itself.  

SubhanAllah, these acts of heroism were not just as a result of their belief in their own ability, it was fuelled by a higher purpose and their total reliance, conviction and trust in Allah. 

How can these stories relate to us today? These examples show us the power of faith. If we only rely on ourselves, we’re limited to what we think we’re capable of in the moment. But with Tawakkul, a whole ocean of possibilities opens up as we believe wholeheartedly that there is no limit on Allah and what He can do for us. This creates another level of courage, resourcefulness and solution-focused determination. 

Practical Tips to Develop Prophetic Courage

Have you ever wanted to share your point of view but felt too uncomfortable or nervous to say what’s on your mind?

Practical tip: Shift the focus from how you might look or sound to the potential value they could gain from your point of view. How can they benefit from what you have to say?

Have you ever received negative feedback and responded in a defensive manner you later regretted? 

Practical tip: Take a few mindful breaths. Bring your attention to seeking understanding of the other person’s actions through the lens of compassion and visualise the greater good that can be achieved if you choose a more forgiving response.

Have you ever seen someone treated unfairly and turned a blind eye because you didn’t have the confidence to speak up? 

Practical tip: Focus on what Allah would want from you in that moment and think about how you could intervene with that in mind. Perhaps you could also approach the person being treated unfairly with empathy and help them explore their options.

I invite you to reflect on areas in your life where you could show up more courageously. 

How could the Prophetic examples of courage help you do that? 

If you’d like to hear more about this, listen to the recording of my recent webinar on “Prophetic Model of Confidence” where I explored examples of Prophetic confidence and how we can apply it to modern day scenarios.

What you could achieve with more Prophetic courage will also be covered in the upcoming Confidence Masterclass, where I’ll be guiding you through a 6-week programme teaching you how to develop spiritually centered confidence using the Belief Model. You can learn more about it at barakahacademy.com/confidence/.

The post The Prophetic Model of Courage & Its Practical Application Today appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

As habit dictates, she sits comfortably in her chair, sips her coffee, and opens her email to see what today will bring. She instantly regrets looking at her internal mail first. Glaring at the top of her screen is an email from her boss. She hesitantly opens it, unconsciously moving her chair a little away from the desk as though that would help soften the blow somehow. 

She stares at her proposal, the one she had spent days carefully crafting, that is now littered with comments and changes he wants to be made. As she skims through his notes, she feels like it’s not just her proposal in question, but herself as a person and her ability to do the job she was hired for. She feels instantly ashamed, irritated, and wrongly accused. 

Impulsively, she hits reply and without hesitation lets her boss know why she made the choices she did. She presses send and feels in some way vindicated. 

However, as the rest of the day transpires, his words weigh heavier and heavier in her mind. Self-doubt and the harsh inner critic are hijacking her mind making it harder for her to perform at work. She’s constantly second-guessing her decisions and wondering at what point she’ll get pulled up again. At the end of the day, she leaves with tense shoulders and a headache, summoning whatever energy she has to face her other roles of being a mother, wife, and home carer. In her heart, she already knows it’s going to be a tough evening as she’s feeling exhausted and defeated before even stepping out of the office. She sighs sadly, knowing her family won’t get the best of her, again. 

Sana came to me because she was exhausted from being in this cycle. She felt she was on an emotional rollercoaster, feeling confident and great one minute but then deflated and riddled with self-doubt the next. She felt she lacked balance and was spiritually compromised. She had little to no energy and was worn out by the mental marathons she would run in her head with the constant comparisons and second-guessing her decisions and performance.

As we began our very first session, “Breathe” I said to her, “Take a few deep breaths and let’s slow down”. 

As Sana and I worked together, she began to discover a new way of defining confidence allowing her to experience a new level of emotional stability, inner peace, and fulfillment in a more consistent way.

Why Confidence Matters?

In today’s world, there are many definitions of confidence and it’s become a highly sought-after attribute. After all, confidence has become the gold standard in the workplace because we’re told that’s what we need to get noticed, get ahead, and achieve all our life ambitions. Nowadays, the self-help world offers you a whole array of quick-fix strategies and formulas to help fill up your confidence tank. 

The reality is that we do need confidence as it plays a critical role in how you see yourself and in how you behave. It can improve your relationship with family and friends, job performance, your involvement in the community, and your ability to achieve from your smallest to biggest ambitions in life. 

One of the most cited sources about self-confidence in the modern context refers to it as simply believing in oneself. As believers, this notion of believing in oneself is important but it comes with a caveat. We need to be extremely careful about where our confidence is coming from in each moment and what it’s pulling us towards in terms of our beliefs, character, and behavior.   

It’s very tempting to build our confidence and construct our lives based on what we own and what we do. We can feel good about our physical appearance, how we performed at work, what the boss said, how much money is in the bank or even upon the degree by which we are socially accepted by others. These are all external forms of validation that are very temporary in nature. Attaching confidence to what we do as opposed to who we are, creates a need to chase and focus on the external and neglect what’s within. We become distracted from paying attention to what Allah sees.

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said, “Verily, Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but rather He looks at your hearts and actions.”

(Sahih Muslim)

It is my hope that by the end of this article you will be able to distinguish the many different modalities of confidence ranging from healthy and spiritually enriching to others that are temporary in nature, toxic and serve only to inflate the ego, detracting from our spiritual wellbeing and our relationship with Allah. 

How I came to understand Islamically rooted confidence

You would never have guessed I suffered from low confidence or a paralyzing fear of public speaking. Why? Because I was great at masking it. I was like a chameleon, adapting to everything around me, and somewhere along the line, I lost my identity. I was a people-pleaser, a giver, a high-achiever who raced to serve every person’s needs—often to my detriment. Doing this left me burnt out, unfulfilled and exhausted. I was tired of the emotional rollercoaster of needing others to validate me and boost my confidence.

After years of spiritual and personal development training, I finally felt a sense of authenticity, acceptance, and connection to my true self. It was through this process that I realized a fundamental truth; the only way to experience unwavering self-confidence is to ground your identity, efforts, and focus on your faith in Allah.

It was at this stage I qualified as a Life coach so that I could help prevent others from making the same mistakes I did. By the mercy of Allah, for the past 6 years, I’ve been researching, teaching, and coaching clients on a new framework of confidence, one that is rooted in faith and not in ego. I have delivered lectures, workshops and coached hundreds of people around the world helping them make the paradigm shift from ego-led confidence to real inner confidence that is deeply rooted in their trust and relationship with Allah (SWT).

This confidence paradigm shift entails a holistic process of deeper inner work that’s rooted in Islamic principles. It’s designed to help us reconnect back to our fitrah with spiritually fortified confidence and resilience that can be present in the face of any challenging situation. 

From Ego-Centered Confidence to Spiritually Centered Confidence 

It is from the Mercy of Allah, that He has given us the capability to feel deeply rooted confidence within ourselves no matter what our external circumstances are. This confidence is solidified on the foundations of unwavering love and trust in Allah.

When confidence is rooted in Tawakkul (trust in Allah), it allows us to face even the hardest tests with grace and poise as modeled by our beloved prophets (peace be upon them). They faced undeniable hardships and struggles, yet had absolute confidence and trust in Allah, believing and knowing that nothing can happen to them or hurt them unless it was by Allah’s Will. With this spiritual armor, they would leave their homes each day with purpose and intentionality that was undeterred by outside events or other people’s words and actions. They were comforted and fuelled by these words of Allah:

 “Say: Only what Allah has decreed will happen to us. He is Our Master: let the believers put their trust in Allah.”  

(Qur’an 9:51)

Let’s examine a few distinctions to help us discern deeply rooted spiritual confidence from the superficial temporary platforms of confidence. We will specifically look at some of the consequences of adopting ego-led confidence compared to possible outcomes from developing spiritually led confidence, as detailed in the following infographic:

Self Reliance Based Confidence Vs Tawakkul Based Confidence

Probably one of the biggest concerns with following today’s formulas for confidence and success is that it puts us at risk of becoming forgetful of Allah. This can be a very subtle process and happen without us even realizing if we are not mindful. 

The moment we align with the idea “it’s all on me”, we’re vulnerable to a whole host of problems. With this mindset, the burden of success is solely on us and it can create psychological issues such as anxiety, stress and make us very reactive to outcomes. For example, if a person delivers a presentation and receives negative feedback, it’s easy to take it very personally, giving way to self-loathing, negative self-talk and people pleasing behaviour. If the presentation received great reviews, without humility present and attributing the outcome back to Allah, any praise could feed directly to their ego, which in turn can create arrogance and an unhealthy disproportionate belief in oneself and their ability. 

“Do not strut arrogantly about the Earth. You will certainly never split the earth apart nor will you ever rival the mountains in height.”

(Qur’an 17:37)

Some of the pitfalls of arrogance to be aware of include:

• Inadvertently, we may fall into the trap of thinking the only factors at play is our own ability, effort and self-belief. This disconnects us from the reality that we are the slaves of Allah and rather than operating from a spiritual soulful place with purpose and humility, it sets up an identity based on ego with a penchant for external validation. 
• The Prophet (SAW) said: He who has, in his heart, an ant’s weight of arrogance will not enter Paradise. (Sahih Muslim). Islamic tradition is about not inflating ego, this is called Jihad Un Nafs (struggle against the self) out of protection from becoming “full of oneself” and adopting a mindset independent of Allah. 
• “The shy person and the arrogant one will not learn the knowledge.” (Sahih Bukhari). As we can see from this hadith, allowing arrogance to enter the heart shuts the door to valuable learning and insights. There’s also a real danger of not being able to do honest self-reflection (Muhasabah) for personal growth and development.  
• We must also consider the undesirable characteristics and social behaviour that arrogance can bring out in someone. Are they concerned with other people’s feelings or more worried about protecting their own image?

The reality is that Allah has blessed us with skills and abilities but ultimately, we ONLY achieve success by the mercy of Allah and because He willed it to happen. When we align that mindset with a deep sense of knowing that along with my ability, skills and efforts is the help and might of Allah, we can feel more assured going into any situation with high levels of self-confidence. If we have the help of Allah, what is there to fear?

 “And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if anyone puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion.”

(Quran 65:3)

Grounded with this inner confidence, we have the courage to listen to others, we can accept all outcomes and we have the capacity to entertain other people’s opinions. 

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” – Aristotle

Essential Self Vs Constructed Self

SubhanAllah, we are the creation of Allah. Let’s just take a moment to think about the significance of that. He designed us in perfect proportion and placed within us unique qualities and traits so that we can use these gifts to spread goodness and rahma (mercy) in the world. 

“We have indeed created humankind in the best of moulds.”

(Quran 95:4)

Our essential self is the purest form of who we are (fitrah). This space is filled with compassion, goodwill and esteemed qualities that reflect our most authentic self. Our soul will feel most alive, spiritually engaged and thriving when we are living in integrity with our essential self. 

But sometimes, in the process of trying to succeed in our environment, we can detach from our authentic self and become people that neither others nor even ourselves recognise. Here are some ways we can detach and fall into our constructed self: 

• We try to follow formulas of other successful people and don’t honour who we really are at a soul level. We lose our authenticity, afraid to show up as our real self out of fear of loss, judgement or rejection.
• We believe negative things that have been said about us in the past and build an entire life as a reaction to this. 
• We become chameleon-like to fit in with others and our environment, this creates a gap between how we feel on the inside and how we show up on the outside. The larger the gap, the greater the inner friction and disturbance at a soul level. 
• Reactive behaviour tends to have a few common traits; sensitive, protective and defensive. 
• Reactive ego-led behaviour can easily masquerade as confidence, when we quip back if pressed or “fight our corner” during every conflict, we convince ourselves that we’re coming from a place of strength, but in fact it could be the protective armour we’ve created in order not to feel any discomfort. 

“… By the soul and (by) Him who made it perfect, and then inspired it to understand what is wrong and what is right for it. Truly is successful the one who purifies (his soul).”

(Qur’an 91:7-9)

As we learn from this ayah, the soul knows right from wrong. If we learn to slow down and pay attention to that quiet inner voice we will see that real courage and confidence is in showing restraint, being kind, showing mercy and carefully crafting responses with an awareness and care of how our behaviour affects others. 

Self Care Vs Self Neglect 

Busy lifestyles and hustle culture can very quickly lead to self-neglect. This can have a cascading negative impact on multiple fronts (e.g. spiritual and emotional wellbeing, energy and confidence levels)

Sometimes in the rush of modern life, many people forgo a healthy diet. A poor diet not only affects our weight, but it can affect our mood and emotions. When our emotions are not healthy this can directly impact our confidence. For example, researchers are finding fascinating links between our food choices and mental health.

“Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps regulate sleep and appetite, mediate moods, and inhibit pain. Since about 95% of your serotonin is produced in your gastrointestinal tract, and your gastrointestinal tract is lined with a hundred million nerve cells, or neurons, it makes sense that the inner workings of your digestive system don’t just help you digest food, but also guide your emotions.” (Harvard Medical School).

There are countless references in the Quran and sunnah with regards to how we should manage our eating habits as food not only nourishes our body but the soul too. 

The correlation between lifestyle choices and our emotional state extends to almost every aspect of our life. Some of the impacts of self-neglect include:

• If we’re run down, overworked and feel under-valued, it won’t be long before we’re battered from exhaustion and begin to operate in a mental fog which makes it difficult to move forward with even our basic daily activities.
• Recharging is critical. If we don’t, we’ll be running on empty. We may still be able to serve others – but would they be getting the best of us? What’s the trade off? Poor choices around food, excess weight gain/loss, dark circles under the eyes, short fuse, health issues?
• How confident can we truly feel if our body is consistently getting insufficient sleep?
• Research shows that low energy gravitates us towards negative emotions such as resentment, frustration and even anger. If all our actions are judged by our intentions, we have to question how these negative emotions impact our intentions, even when we are serving our loved ones! Part of our duty as Muslims is to explore our intentions at deeper levels.

Your body has a right over you and we have to make choices accordingly. Allah blessed us with ONE body and gave it to us as an amaanah (trust) that we will look after it, with this intention self-care becomes an act of worship. 

Ibn al-Qayyim (r) stated:

“Health is one of the most precious favours Allah has bestowed upon His servants, the most generous of gifts, the most plentiful of His bounties. Rather, even more, [good] health is the most precious of favours without exception; so it is fitting that whoever is granted a portion of this fortune, that he cherishes it, preserves it and guards it against harm.”

A defining characteristic of a Muslim is loving and following the Sunnah. The best of mankind has instructed us to be mindful of our mind and body. Part of striving to follow our prophet (saw) in order to please Allah is through loving and taking care of yourself.

He ate well, he slept early, he was active, he gave himself rest and fulfilled the rights of his body.

From this, we can see self-care is not just a luxury but a necessity.

Ultimately…

From the above we see that true confidence is rooted in Islamic principles. It requires us to take care of ourselves, to identify the true self and ultimately to rely on Allah. It is only through our relationship and awareness of Allah that our hearts can find peace as Allah tells us:

“Only in remembrance of Allah (swt) will your heart find peace”

(Qur’an 13:28)

If our confidence is independent of this reality, we may develop a scarcity mindset and seek abundance through wealth and status. We can lose a good night’s sleep worrying about our possessions and unfulfilled life ambitions. Everything becomes personal and we become very reactive to our circumstances. We may lose aspects of our character and become neglectful of our spiritual obligations, manners and empathy for others in the process.

It’s important to note that striving for the good of this world and having high ambitions is not inherently wrong, in fact we are advised to make duaa for it:

“Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.”

(Qur’an 2:201)

We ask for the good of this world, but we don’t attach our hearts to it. In hope of being included as those who are truly successful (Al-Muflihoon) we strive to make our efforts count for us in this world and the next InshaAllah. 

Aligning with this intention, means that we can aim high fearlessly with full trust that Allah will give us what is best and what we don’t receive in this world will, InshaAllah, be waiting to greet us in the next world. This spiritually rooted confidence liberates us from the shackles of chasing dunya and striving to fulfil society’s demands.

It’s in renewing our intentions and aligning our thoughts, decisions and actions with our higher purpose and finding our way back to our essential self that we can experience that rich, unwavering belief, knowledge and understanding that Allah’s help is near.

Back to Sana’s case 

Sana and I used the Belief model to help raise her self-awareness and spiritually align her mind, body and soul with a more purposeful and intentional life. 

She fully embraced the instruction in these comforting words from Allah:

“Allah never changes the condition of a people unless they strive to change themselves.”

(Quran 13:11)

She recognised that if she wanted to see change in her life, the point of action had to begin with herself first along with full trust that Allah, Al- Fattah (The Opener) will open the way for everything else to change. 

By working through the Belief model , here’s a few of the changes she experienced with the Mercy of Allah:

• She learned to slow down, re-evaluate her life goals and worked on getting to know her true self. 
• She deepened her relationship with Allah and as a result felt less fear around other people and outcomes. 
• She developed more courage to take personal accountability for her thoughts, choices, feelings and responses which enabled her to experience more spiritually rooted confidence both at work and at home. This made her less reactive to negative feedback or criticism.
• She discovered that through honest self-reflection, she could remove invisible barriers that had been holding her back and step closer towards living as her most authentic best self.
• With new lifestyle choices, she felt less physically drained but also without the comparisons and self-doubt occupying her mind, she had more energy to channel toward things that really mattered to her. 
• Situations that would have previously been taken very personally and weigh heavy on her mind, now presented opportunities for growth and new learnings. 
• The tension in her shoulders had eased and she is now working on living life with more presence, joy and intentionality Alhamdulilah.

Ready to build your spiritually-centered confidence?

I’m excited to partner with The Productive Muslim Company to launch a brand new 6-week masterclass on building spiritually-centered confidence. You can learn more about it at barakahacademy.com/confidence/.

This will be a 6-week masterclass that combines Islamic spiritual practices with modern productivity and psychology based on the BELIEF Model . Learn more here.

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