Dear brother or I am guessing you are a sister as I am a female

I will relate my story to you
I got married at the age of 31 which in my Pakistani mother’s world was a far far cry from being married ‘on time’
Before marriage and upon meeting my husband (who was divorced and roughly 7yrs older than me), we agreed we were ready for children
As we married, he refused to tryfor children due to some issue he had that he was not ready to deal with
5 years passed. I felt hopeless and was ready to leave him as my biggest reason for marriage was children. I sought help and managed to convince my reluctant husband to seek medical help with me. I think he was finally convinced as his younger siblings were having children and he for the first time felt pressure from his parents. I waited all those years for him. Allah taught me humility in front of others who were putting me down due to them having children. I kept my head down & busied myself with my studies although I was not psychologically ‘in the zone’ for studying. I cried for days on end. His family knew my feeling and pretended they did not hear or feel my tears. My personality changed.
Through treatment and of course only by Allah’s grace we had a daughter after about 5 yrs of marriage. Still, many were happy it was not a boy. Subhan’Allah. You can never win. Alhamdulillah I say for every moment gone and for all that I went through and I’m sure my husband did too
I am now expecting again and Allah knows best that we are grateful. We do not know if it is a boy or a girl. Frankly, we are grateful that within about 6yrs of our marriage, Allah will have graced us with 2 healthy children insh’Allah

Please please do not think that you will just automatically get into trying as you get married. We live in a crazy world with weird issues facing us esp if we have a muslim background and grown up in the west. May Allah guide you & give you the best. Never despair in Him. Keep praying to Him and ask others (people in your circle of trust) to pray for you. Keep doing good and I believe one day someone’s duaa will be accepted for you.

Aselam Aleykum Jahanar. First of all thank you for the post. Me and my wife after trying naturally for 3 years. The doctors told us uknown infertility so they advised us to go for IVF. but still the IVF did not work for us. Now we are thinking whether to go for second IVF or to try naturally as my wife found out that all the IVF process is torturing. Is there any means you can help us. I mean how we can contact you? Thanks

I treat on average 30 women every month who walk through my doors due to fertility issue. Dealing with fertility is not a complex issue like any sickness such as cancer, Parkinson’s etc once you understand the body. And as our glorious Qur’an states, there is a cure for absolutely every disease.

Normally with fertility it is the woman who always makes the effort on seeking treatment. What you will find even though western doctors may claim that the male is fine, they are incorrect. 99.9% of the time when there is a miscarriage or pregnancy related problems, it is actually due to faulty sperm.
When I treat my patients I always tell the patient that her husband must get treated too.

I strongly advise sisters too that emotions are number 1 cause of any disease. When you cannot get pregnant you get even more emotional causing further damage. Therefore I request sisters have Sabr and faith in Allah. There may be a reason why you cannot get pregnant, perhaps a child is no good for you or your current situation, if it’s meant to happen Allah will make it happen in His own time. There is wisdom behind absolutely everything. If Allah gives you what you ask for say Alhamdulillah once but if He does not give you what you want say Alhamdulillah 10 times.

Allah knows best what is best for you and when.

Assalamu Alaikum Productive Team and All Who Are Participating in the Discussion, Alhamdulillah Sr. Resma and Subhanallah Sr. Rukia, my mum conceived until late into her 40’s, and my grandmother was similar, and I became a doctor specializing in Holistic Reproductive Endocrinology via a degree as a Doctor of Oriental Medicine, and Alhamdulillah, by balancing a woman’s and a couple’s health and being thorough and patient with the way that Allah made each of us, and being willing to make dietary and environmental changes that in the modern world lead to build up of hormone-disrupting chemicals such as heavy metals, and learning how to address each individual’s immune response to varying levels, many couples have been able to conceive into their 40’s. From hundreds of years ago, traditional Chinese gynecologists and obstetricians (which included the field of infertility in their field of expertise), impatience was considered the most difficult factor in conceiving a child for the women, and staying away from many things not halal or haram, and sexual overactivity the greatest barricade for conception in the males. Childlessness is approximately equally contributed to by the males and the females for multiple causes, and the highest rates of success are achieved by couples who both undergo holistic treatments with patience and full sincerity to restore balance and health as the way to achieve a healthy child. I pray that all of you have these qualities and find a doctor who is knowing and wise of all of the knowledge to help you, and may Allah make it easy for you to be patient, bear patience with family and friends, and grant you health and wisdom.

Tharaa

Ma sha Allah another productive topic!

Myself personally I am currently unmarried and would love to start a progeny, in order to have ultimately more company in sha Allah in jannah assuming I get there and them too of course!
On that note I understand that as muslims we are supposed to be optimistic in order to find the good, as our beloved (peace upon him) instructed us! Saying that I know I am not currently married, but even with that thought and the subject at hand, I feel like it might be a bit a little unproductive for my current situation! Also at the same time, I understand that it might be the only solution to productivity! Sorry if that’s not too clear!

In the attached survey, I could personally probably add under ‘other’ for reasons would be that, as I was previously married, would be that the other half was younger and career minded and not really knowing what they really wanted out of life at the time!

Finally I would like to add, with out giving them the eye, that I know of and have seen families with children, who are extremely productive, happy and who are an inspiration to be like! Allahoma give them baraka in dunyia and akirah in sha Allah!

As this is my first time to leave a comment, please forgive me if I waffled on by any means and I hope my little contribution helps me and anybody else in a way be productive and at least motivated God willing!

May we all have football/soccer teams sized progenies and qualities in them of the sahabas, so that we can make our beloved (p.b.u.h) proud of us on THAT DAY!! Ameen! And with that said only Allah knows the future and the unseen but may we and our children live to see or at least be the helpers of the truthful messiah Eisa son of Mary (alaihoma asallam)!

Barak Allah feekom and have a productive week.

Peace unto you all

Sura ambiya is in which number in Holly Qura-aan nuber 21 or?