Asalam Alaikum sister, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. May Allah grant your father the highest place in Jannah and make his grave wide and full of noor, ameen.
Sister, if you are making dua for your father, then you are definitely on the right track, there is an enormous blessing in making dua for the deceased, continue doing this Insha’Allah;
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “The fact that the dead benefit from du’aa’s is indicated by the consensus of the ummah on offering du’aa’ for him during the janaazah (funeral) prayer, hence we know that du’aa’ benefits the deceased… This is supported by many ahaadeeth and is in fact is the whole point of praying for the deceased. The same applies to making du’aa’ for him after the burial, and making du’aa’ for them when visiting their graves” – (al-Rooh, 118, 119).

You can also make up any fasts which were obligatory upon your father;
It was reported from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever dies and had any fasts outstanding, his heir should observe those fasts on his behalf” – (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1851; Muslim, 1147).

You may also be able to do hajj on his behalf, only after you have completed this fard yourself, however.
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) heard a man saying “Labbayka ‘an Shubrumah (At your service, O Allaah, on behalf of Shubrumah).” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Who is Shubrumah?” He said, “A relative of mine.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Have you ever done Hajj before?” He said, “No.” he said, “Do this Hajj for yourself, then do Hajj on behalf of Shubrumah” – (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1811; Ibn Maajah, 2903 – this version was narrated by him. The hadeeth was classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Irwaa’ al-Ghaleel, 4/171).

I hope the above has shed some light, and remember the benefits of du’aa’, praying for forgiveness, giving charity and Hajj – they do reach the deceased.

Additionally, guilt after such an event is natural sister. But dwelling too much into this matter may cause you a lot of grief, pray to the almighty for your father and indeed for yourself, that he make your heart lighter. Please refer to this article https://productivemuslim.com/7-things-to-do-in-times-of-hardship/

Also, I will ask productive Muslim if we can write an article on this (if we haven’t done so already), as you can see there is a lot to be covered on it.

Finally, May the lord of all that exists, relieve these pains and burdens from your heart, may He make this easier for you, ameen.

yes you were selfish but at least u learned your lessons

Asalam Alaikum sister,

The fact that you’ve recognized a mistake on your part is a good sign. I’m not sure of the details – that is indeed between yourself, your father and Allah (swt) but the quicker the argument is resolved, the better it is. May Allah (swt) help you and your father to reach an understanding and increase the love in your hearts. Ameen.

The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The one who maintains a relationship with his relatives only because they maintain a relationship with him is not truly upholding the ties of kinship. The one who truly upholds those ties is the one who does so even if they break off the relationship” – (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 5645).

Thank you so very much for you dua!

Asalam alaikum, I am so sorry to hear about your dilemma,
May Allah (swt), the most merciful, the most kind open your daughter’s heart, may He make her understand her duty towards her parents and grant her with good mannerisms and conduct towards them, ameen.

Asalam Alaikum, thank you for spreading this.