Jazak Allah Kairan,indeed an ointment on my bruise psychological sense;About 4 years ago I was terribly insulted and hurt by my flatmate,although I had tried to forgive him but all my efforts to do so went futile.I used to mutter cuss words all the time and could not wash away the stain of hatred that got settled underneath my hear and soul.
Fortunately,after reading this thought provoking Islamic write-up I am feeling a bit better.I have also read an amazing valuable write-up on the Web Portal(Decodingeden),believe me it had resounding impact on my bruise mind and heart.Albeit it is never easy to heal the wound instantaneously,but soothing effects of the article written by Ardiane Fatima has deep rooted impact on my psychological self.

Allah Hafiz
Sayed Faiz Tanvir

Someone asked a huge help from me and offered something else in return. I agreed and went to huge lengths to help them, and then they just stop returning calls etc and avoided fulfilling their end of the agreement.

Should they be forgiven for witholding the huqooq? Can I hold them to account on qiuyama?

Jenny, Since no one has answered in over a year, I will give you feedback (and I hope you are doing well). When the article says this, “However, forgiveness does not mean that you cannot learn from the trial. It doesn’t mean that the person did not do wrong, nor does it justify what they did. If you trusted someone and they betrayed your trust, forgiveness does not mean that you have to trust them again if they haven’t given you reason to. You are able to treat them well, without resentment in your heart, but if you learned something about their character, you should keep that in mind when dealing with them.” I believe it is answering your question.

I love this article, it reflects my beliefs exactly even though I am not Muslim. I tell my students that forgiveness does not mean you have to let someone back into your life or keep them in your life. If someone is harmful to you, you do not have to repeatedly submit to abuse from that person. Many people bundle being with someone and forgiveness as if they are inseparable. They are better when you separate the two. For example, let’s say someone has a sibling who has gotten into drugs and every time they see the sibling they either steal from them or they bring unsavory characters into contact with them to the point where they do not feel safe. You can forgive your sibling, but not see your sibling. It does not mean you no longer love your brother or sister. It means only that you do not want to see them or spend time together. You can forgive them for taking the path they are on, we all have our own path, we are all human, we all make mistakes. But you have the right to decide if having a particular person in your life is right for you, or not.

Also, if you understand the connection between emotional state and behavior (when someone’s emotional state is low (grief, depression, despair, disempowered) their behavior is worse when their emotional state is happy, hopeful, joyous, or eager, their behavior is better. No one who acts the way you describe your husband acting is happy. If he were happy he would not act that way. Only he can make himself happy because happiness is about the perspective one takes about one’s life–not about the actual life.

Good luck to you. I wish you the best. You may wish to talk with your religious leader about what you can do to improve your situation.

Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu ukhti. I apologise for the very late reply in advance. You’re situation touched my heart. I don’t have dua but I have suggestions. A sister recently advised me to tell my worries and situations and hopes to Allah and Allah alone as though I am whining to a friend. You see, this helps you build the connection between the servant and the Lord. I know it may seem pretty hard but Allah is testing you and putting you through difficult trials to see if you worthy of being of those who preserved in this world and entered Jannah. You could make a dua to ask Allah to give you a stronger back so that you may be able to deal with the trials of this Dunya. During your prayers I believe that you should think about all that Allah has blessed you with and then you should feel more grateful and also realise that your situation doesn’t mean you let shaytan sever the connection between you and Allah. I ask that Allah sorts out your worldly affairs for you and that He purifies your heart for you.