Most people fall into the first category of complainers: always visualizing the negativity in any situation and despairing when things don’t go the way they plan. Very few consciously choose to see things from a different/positive perspective. Life is a fascinating cocktail of events, good and bad, with rejoicing and grieving, achievements and failures. But our attitude towards these situations decides the impact they have in our life, constructive or destructive.

A study conducted by Robert Sapolsky, a neuroendocrinologist at Stanford University, found that even listening to someone else complain for 30 minutes resulted in elevated levels of a stress hormone called cortisol.

From an Islamic perspective, a believer must manifest beautiful patience in the face of trial, which means we must submit to Allah and be content as soon as it happens. The Prophet said, “The real patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.” [Sahih Al Bukhari]

And Allah already informed us that our life will be full of tests, as this is part of the reason we were created,

“[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed – and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving,” [Quran: Chapter 67, Verse 2]

In reality, every test is a blessing in disguise – it may be that a test is Allah’s way to bring you back to Him; it may be that a certain hardship draws you nearer to Him; it may be that a calamity you’ve suffered is a punishment that decreases your sins in the Hereafter. Rather than complaining, we should welcome our hardships for they are a sign that Allah loves us. Complaining creates resentment in the heart towards Allah and is a very unhealthy state of mind that only brings us more suffering.

Why do people complain?

There are a number of reasons why people feel the need to complain. Allah has mentioned that every human will be tested in various ways during his/her life. Let’s explore the different hardships one may suffer which causes complaining.

Reason 1: Unexpected calamities

Humans are generally hasty and ungrateful. The moment a calamity strikes, the person tends to forget all the blessings that he had been bestowed with and starts complaining. But, whenever a calamity befalls us, we must remember that it is from Allah and it is a part of our qadr (destiny). Allah says:

“No disaster strikes upon the earth or among yourselves except that it is in a register before We bring it into being – indeed that, for Allah, is easy.” [Qur’an: Chapter 57, Verse 22]

Allah has told us that He would test us in health, wealth, and with our children to see how we respond. Each soul will go through its share of trials. So during a calamity, we must remember to be grateful to Allah to earn the reward here and in the Hereafter and assert our true faith in Him.

Reason 2: Lack of wealth and possessions

This seems to be the number one cause for people to complain. Allah describes the man as greedy until he meets his grave. Each person desires for a bigger house, a bigger car, a bigger business and so on. The Messenger said,

“Narrated Hakim bin Hizam: I asked the Prophet (for some money) and he gave me, and then again I asked him and he gave me, and then again I asked him and he gave me and he then said, “This wealth is (like) green and sweet (fruit), and whoever takes it without greed, Allah will bless it for him, but whoever takes it with greed, Allah will not bless it for him, and he will be like the one who eats but is never satisfied. And the upper (giving) hand is better than the lower (taking) hand.” [Sahih al-Bukhari]

One should strive hard in his work and accept whatever he earns through it with a cheerful heart. Because greed is like a bottomless well, no matter how much you fill it, it will never be full. True comfort and happiness lies in the contentment of the heart and not in possessions.

Reason 3: Health issues

Suffering from health issues, especially chronic illnesses, can make a person lose patience and resort to complaining. In this case, the person must remind himself that it may be that Allah loves him. He should recall the hadith of Prophet in which he said,

“There is nothing (in the form of trouble) that comes to a believer even if it is the pricking of a thorn that there is decreed for him by Allah good or his sins are obliterated..”  [Sahih Muslim]

A Muslim should bear his health issues with patience keeping in mind that they are a way of cleansing.

Reason 4: Problems in society

Author and philosopher, Steven Parton, explains his theory of neuroplasticity that the brain re-wires itself based on whatever it is repetitively exposed to, i.e. negativity and complaining breeds more of the same. He says “…if you’re always complaining and belittling your own power, in reality, you will not think you have the power to change it. And thus it will never change.” Such a phenomenon can be easily noticed in society. People often complain about the streets and beaches being dirty, for example, but no one ever wants to take the responsibility to rectify the problem. It is because their brains are accustomed to the idea of complaining, rather than proactively trying to bring about a change. We must all shift our attitude from complaining to correcting.

Reason 5: Problems in relationships

It is natural and inevitable that differences in nature and opinions occur in relationships. At times, peaceful co-existence seems to be impossible. During such feuds, we end up backbiting each other with continuous nagging and complaining. Through various ahadith and verses of the Qur’an, Allah has commanded us to be good to our families and uphold the ties of kinship. When we get into a conflict with our near ones or are harmed by them, we should aim to resolve, forgive and forget, so that Allah will show us mercy too on the Day of Judgement. Allah says,

 “And those who break the Covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e. they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e. they will be far away from Allah’s Mercy), and for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e. Hell).” [Quran: Chapter 13, Verse 25]

Reason 6: Problems with religion

We see many people complaining about religion, sometimes about the duties enjoined upon us, or about the restrictions we have to abide by. Prophet said,

“Religion is very easy and whoever overburdens himself in his religion will not be able to continue in that way. So you should not be extremists, but try to be near to perfection and receive the good tidings that you will be rewarded.”  [Sahih al Bukhari]

We should remember that religion is easy. The restrictions in religion are meant for our own benefit and to maintain goodness in the society.

Reason 7: Problems with failures and loss of opportunities

One of the main reasons we complain is because we have regrets about our past. The statement, ‘if I had done that..’ or ‘what if?’ or ‘if only…’ will allow our past mistakes to haunt our present and future, and this attitude shows the weakness of faith. One of the basic tenets of faith is the belief in qadr (predestination).

Prophet Muhammad said,

“And know that what has passed you by [and you have failed to attain] was not going to befall you, and what has befallen you was not going to pass you by.” [Forty Hadith An-Nawawi]

Success is not a destination but it is a long road intertwined with failures. We will gain no benefit by complaining about our past, but we really can benefit by learning from our mistakes.

How can I stop complaining?

1. Realize the power and blessings of Allah in your life

The first chapter of the Qur’an (Surah al Fatiha) with which we begin every unit (raka’ah) of our prayer, is a programming of our soul to avoid the habit of complaining. It is so important to understand this surah, to make our salah more meaningful.

In verse one, we begin by praising and thanking Allah for our blessings because no matter what problems come our way, we are more blessed than somebody else. Even if we do not have shoes to wear, we do have feet to walk, if we are overwhelmed with illness, we are at least not paralyzed from birth. We are literally immensely surrounded by the blessings of Allah .

In verse two, we glorify Allah for His grace and mercy because, after temporary tests and trials, Allah is the One who grants us blessings and rectifies our affairs. In verse three, we declare that He is the King and all affairs are under His control. In verse four and five, we proclaim that to Him only we direct our worship and turn for help.

If we pray salah with khush’oo (attentiveness), then Surah al Fatiha will leave us with no grounds to complain. It will make us grateful to Allah for every blessing He has bestowed on us and it will make our faith firm in the qadr (predestination) and remind us of our purpose in life and destination afterlife, which will put life and its problems in the correct/unexaggerated perspective.

2. Complain to The Creator, not the creation

Sometimes our heart gets overwhelmed with worries and we need to let out some of it. Going around complaining and whining about our problems to people who have no authority to solve them will only waste our energy. Instead, we should adopt a habit to talk about our problems to Allah as He takes the burdens away and descends ease and peace upon the hearts of His created beings. If we must talk to people, we should talk only to those who can benefit us emotionally and provide aid.

3. Make dua to change things

 If you are having a tough time in your life then instead of complaining, make dua to the only One who can give you relief, the only One who can make the impossible possible. Prophet Muhammad said,

“Nothing can change the Divine decree except dua (prayer).” [Ahmad]

4. Fulfill your role

Whenever we face a problem in life, we must do three things. First is to seek help from Allah , the Controller of all affairs. Second is to do our part and try our best to remove the hardship, and third is to take help from those who can help us. When problems are encountered by the family or society as a whole, fulfill your role in solving it. Be the first one to inspire the change. In a hadith, it was reported,

Abu Barza reported: I said, “O Prophet of Allah, teach me something that will benefit me.” The Prophet said, “Remove harmful things from the roads of the Muslims.” [Sahih Muslim]

Here the Prophet is teaching that when you do something to help the society, it will benefit you eventually. It is like planting a rose whose essence spreads to all homes.

So to conclude, there really is no good in complaining. It destroys productivity, decreases happiness and increases anger, and can make you lazy and lethargic. As believers, Prophet Muhammad has instructed in various ahadith to avoid complaining and be content:

“How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affairs are all good, and this applies to no one but the believer. If something good happens to him, he is thankful for it and that is good for him. If something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience and that is good for him.” [Sahih Muslim]

May Allah make us all firm believers in the qadr, accepting it in all its forms, good and bad. Ameen!

Do you have tips to stop complaining? Share your advice in the comments section below!

The post Complaining Decoded: Why People Complain & The Best Way to Stop It appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

Why are my prayers not being accepted?

What sin have I committed to suffer such a trial?

When will the help of Allah arrive?

Before we begin with any advice on how to ward off hopelessness during trials, let us remind ourselves of the purpose of our creation. Allah mentions in the Qur’an:

“And We created not the heavens and the earth, and all that is between them, for mere play. We created them not except with truth (i.e. to examine and test those who are obedient and those who are disobedient and then reward the obedient ones and punish the disobedient ones), but most of them know not.” [Qur’an: Chapter  44, Verses 38-39]

The trials in our life are a means to test our faith and obedience to Allah and earn rewards in this life and the next. Allah also says:

“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient.” [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 155]

This one verse should suffice us to bear all trials with patience as Allah Himself declares the forthcoming of good news to those who do so. But many a time, despite our efforts to be patient, clouds of hopelessness begin to shadow our hearts. Let’s go through a few points that will, in sha Allah, help us bear trials with patience and keep our heart and spirit positive when we are surrounded by negativity.

1. Believe in your heart that Allah is your Aid

Once I came across a patient who was requesting her doctor to prescribe anti-depressants for her as she was going through a stressful phase in life. The doctor, knowing the harm of such medicines, counseled the lady instead. The doctor’s beautiful words still echo in my mind. He said, “Despite believing in the Qadr of Allah , the reason depression encircles us in stressful situations is because we say with our tongues that everything will be fine, in sha Allah, but we do not truly believe it in our hearts.”

Imagine if your mother promises you that she will make things right for you, you will trust her because you know your mother will not leave any leaf unturned to bring goodness to you. Then how is it that we do not believe in the promise of our Lord, who loves us seventy times more than our mothers? He promises us in His Book, not once but twice,

“For indeed, with hardship will be ease, Indeed with hardship will be ease.” [Qur’an: Chapter 94, Verses 5-6]

2. Do your part then seek Allah’s help

In the same Surah (Ash-Sharh), Allah goes on to say,

“So when you have finished your duties, then stand up for worship and turn your hopes to Him.” [Qur’an: Chapter 94, Verses 7-8]

We get so preoccupied with our problems, that we let worry take us over, resulting in disturbed sleep, poor health, abandoned duties and worship, and gradual isolation of ourselves from others. But in this surah, Allah is asking us first to fulfill our responsibilities (even in times of trial) and then worship Him, turning all hopes towards Him. Instead of over-thinking about our problems, we must occupy ourselves in rectifying our relationship with the One who can solve them. We must redirect our hopes from feeble humans to the All-Powerful Lord. When Al-Fattah (The Opener) opens His gates of bounty for you, then who is it that can withhold it from you? Trials are a blessing as they act as a driving force in drawing us closer to Allah . The security and peace one feels upon establishing the connection with Allah cannot be described in words. As Allah says,

“And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him.” [Qur’an: Chapter 65, Verses 2-3]

In a lecture, Mufti Menk explained, “If you sit in a car without driving and you keep making dua to Allah to make you reach a particular destination, your dua will not benefit you in the true sense. When Allah gave you the capacity to move about, and the blessing of knowledge and facilitated for you luxuries, then you are supposed to take some action and then pray to Allah to ease it for you.”

3. Have good thoughts of Allah

In a hadith qudsi, Allah says,

“I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am.” [Sahih al-Bukhari]

This means ‘I am able to do whatever he expects I will do’.

My cousin brother’s life turned upside down, when happiness had knocked his door and left before he could truly welcome it. He was blessed with a healthy baby boy, who died within a week due to some illness. My cousin, being a man of taqwa, bore this trial with utmost patience, and only had good thoughts of Allah . His mother used to comfort him saying that Allah never wishes bad for His believers, and will, in sha Allah grant him more sons. In the next pregnancy, his wife gave birth to completely healthy triplet boys,  ma sha Allah. So beautiful was his reward of patience.

A greater example of patience and hope is found in Prophet Ayyub . How great must have been his patience that he bore 17 years of illness with faith and gratitude? And henceforth, Allah rewarded him by returning him all that he had lost of health, wealth, and family.

Sometimes the trial may be a blessing in disguise as Allah says,

“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 216]

Remind yourself of those times when you eventually realized that blessings do come disguised as trials.

A beautiful example of this can be seen in the love of parents. Every time a toddler puts a dirty thing in his mouth, they snatch it away from him, leaving him hurt and crying. Though they love him, their concern for the safety of their child makes them withhold things from him. To the child, it seems almost cruel that his parents would take away something he desires so much. However, he is unaware that his parents’ actions are for his own benefit. In the same way, we may not understand why Allah gives us a certain trial – but He knows what good will come of it. So always think good of Allah .

4. Develop a positive attitude towards trials

Recently, a story of a crippled family gained much attention in the media. The father, a poor old man, relayed the story of his five children who were born healthy, but as they grew up, suffered slow crippling, one by one, due to a genetic disease. The old mother and father were responsible for taking care of these children ages 7 to 15, who behaved like 2 year olds. What touched my heart in his interview was his outlook towards his problem. Though he was badly struggling in terms of funds and domestic help to look after his crippled children, on being asked if he was saddened by his fate, he said, “Maybe God didn’t trust anyone other than me to take care of these beautiful helpless children.”

Can we compare the problems of our life with his great trial? We must constantly remind ourselves that there is someone out there facing a greater trial than ours. As the old saying goes, “I was feeling sad for having no shoes, until I saw a man with no feet”.

The Messenger of Allah gave us advice for when we have financial troubles:

“Look at those who are inferior to you and do not look at those who are superior to you, for this will keep you from belittling Allah’s Favour to you.” [Sahih Muslim]

5. Deal with your guilt

If the guilt of a sin is killing you on the inside, and you are overwhelmed by the feeling that you are being punished for your sins, then know that Allah ’s Mercy is greater. He mentions constantly in the Qur’an,

“But those who committed misdeeds and then repented after them and believed – indeed your Lord, thereafter, is Forgiving and Merciful.” [Qur’an: Chapter 7, Verse 153]

So we should continuously repent to Allah so that He wards off the punishment for our sins.

Also, the Messenger of Allah said,

“Have taqwa (fear) of Allah wherever you may be, and follow up a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people” [40 Hadith an-Nawawi]

Make a habit of following up a bad deed with a good deed, like a heartfelt apology to make up for the damage that happened, or increasing voluntary deeds.

6. Do not underestimate dua

Just like WhatsApp, if we could see blue ticks every time Allah heard our duas, how amazing would that be? But we don’t even need that, because more amazing is the promise of Allah to us:

“And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me, indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me.” [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 186]

The most amazing part about this ayah is that Allah did not say, “when my pious servant calls upon Me”, He just says – ‘supplicant’, which could be anyone. Allah promises that He will respond to the supplication of anyone without the need of a mediator. So sit in a quiet place, raise your hands and talk to Allah – He is the One who knows you the best, the One to whom you can complain, the One who can rectify any situations for you.

The Prophet has promised that Allah responds to our duas in three ways. He said,

“There is no Muslim who calls upon his Lord with a dua in which there is no sin or severing of family ties, but Allah will give him one of three things: either He will answer his prayer quickly, or He will store (the reward for) it in the Hereafter, or He will divert an equivalent evil away from him.” [Jami’ at-Tirmidhi]

7. Remind yourself: we belong to the Hereafter

Each one of us can bear witness that a thing we had longed for since a long time, once we achieve it, it loses its worth and novelty after a while. That is a part of innate human nature. The hearts of the believers, and all human beings, cannot attain eternal happiness in this life. You cannot eat the same kind of meal continuously for more than a few days, even if it is your favorite meal. Out of boredom, the followers of Prophet Musa were willing to change the decadent meal of quails to the ordinary meal of lentils and onions. That is the reason Allah created heaven for us, wherein even similar-looking fruits will have a different taste every time we eat them. A place where our every new desire will be fulfilled. When we start considering this life to be a journey towards the eternal Paradise, and its trials as hurdles of this journey, the hope for the pleasures of Paradise will act as a barrier for hopelessness to come into our lives. The Messenger of Allah said,

“On the Day of Resurrection the disbeliever who lived the most luxurious will be brought, and it will be said: ‘Dip him once in Hell.’ So he will be dipped in it, then it will be said to him: ‘O so- and-so, have you ever enjoyed any pleasure?’ He will say: ‘No, I have never enjoyed any pleasure.’ Then the believer who suffered the most hardship and trouble will be brought and it will be said: ‘Dip him once in Paradise.’ So he will be dipped in it and it will be said to him: ‘O so-and-so, have you ever suffered any hardship or trouble?’ He will say: ‘I have never suffered any hardship or trouble.’” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

So there will be a time very soon, where the trials of this life will seem like nothing in comparison to pleasures of Paradise in sha Allah.

These are a few points we must keep in our mind when going through a tough phase in life so that we pass through it without hopelessness or ungratefulness creeping into our hearts. Allah has promised in the Qur’an, for those who patiently endure their trials,

“Those will be given their reward twice for what they patiently endured,” [Qur’an: Chapter 28, Verse 54]

I pray to Allah to ease the trials of those who are suffering and to protect us from trials and when a trial befalls us, grant us patience to endure it with gratefulness, Ameen!

What are your tips on maintaining a positive heart during tough situations? Share them with us below to benefit others.

The post 7 Ways to Face Your Trials with a Positive Heart appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

People nowadays have become addicted to uploading pictures of what they wear, things they cook and eat, places they go onto their social media platforms – the list is endless! According to a report by Informate Mobile Intelligence, an average 4.7 hours a day (a third of our day, if we are awake for 16 hours!) is spent on our smartphones. We must ask ourselves, if we are awake for 16 hours a day how much of this time is spent doing things that are useful? In this article, we will consider the implications of wastage of time on smartphones, and how it is destructive to our productivity.

How does our social media ‘timeline’ affect us as Muslims?

It is now incredibly easy to respond and react to anything and everything in our social media newsfeed. It has instilled an urge to react even to the matters of little concern sometimes solely for being noticed by people. However, the teachings of Islam tell us that we should not become involved in matters that do no good to anyone or can trick us to get into arguments; it can be even a false news.The Messenger of Allah said,

“Part of the perfection of one’s Islam is his leaving that which does not concern him.” [Hadith Nawawi]

But, this is not what I want to shed light on in this article rather how the obsession of likes and shares steals away our excellence without us even knowing.

Seeking attention on social media

The main goal of social media sharing is to gain the attention of the people while boasting and taking pride in halal and haram activities that are posted. Here are some matters through which people attract attention on social media:

1. Marital life

We may be living with the person in the same house, but it has become a trend (or an essential!) to post birthday wishes, anniversary wishes or grand declarations of love on networking sites. Gestures of love that should be personal and special between the husband and wife are uploaded for the whole world to see. This is as unpleasant as living in a house with glass walls all around, with all private on-goings made public for all to witness.

Quick tip: Instead of posting a romantic status, say these words to your spouse directly and watch how the love between you two grows.

2. Luxuries and food

It has become normal to see posts such as “I just checked into this swanky hotel!” and “here I’m with my brand new phone/laptop/car.” This gives validation to the individual as we show the whole world the material things that Allah blessed us with.

Quick tip: Instead of posting a picture of your latest gadget, make du’a to Allah that it will benefit you in this world and the Hereafter.

3. Beauty

“Looking awesome, bro!” “Hey, you look beautiful!” These comments are like drugs for some and they just cannot live without them. They get into the habit of dressing up and posting pictures with deep quotes and then, chase those posts all day long to see how many likes and comments they get. In an age of advanced photo-editing, men and women are desperate to attain an unrealistic body image, with constant selfies to try and build up their self-worth.

Quick tip: Next time you want to post a selfie, post a picture of beautiful scenery or nature instead and ponder over Allah’s creation, so that we learn to detach from our ego. Believe that Allah is ‘Al-Musawwir’ (The Fashioner), Who fashioned you in the best shape – you do not need to display and get approval of from the world.

4. Agonies

It is not just the happy moments, people also go on to share their agonies and painful moments with the whole world, be it a failed love story, a broken marriage or an ailment they may be suffering from.

Quick tip: In order to be successful, we are required to be patient during trials. Complaining to people contributes to being ungrateful towards the Lord and hence, should be avoided. We also end up exposing our weaknesses to friends and foes. So expose your problems only to Allah and seek His help.

5. Religious duties

The sad reality is that the attention seeking behavior has crossed the boundaries and infiltrated our religious duties as well. More of worshippers are found busy filming themselves in Haramain rather than concentrating on worshipping Allah .

Quick tip: Keep your ibadah a secret!

Adverse effects of “like-o-mania”

1. It is a waste of time

We do not realize how much time we may be losing because of our attention seeking activities. Being obsessed and preoccupied in a continuous display of our looks, accessories, gadgets etc., and the urge to have the maximum number of likes, leads us to check and re-check our networking apps, upload new photos and update our check-in status every day. Thus, a large proportion of our time which we may have spent in actually improving our talents and productivity is spent browsing the smartphone like a dummy on a couch.

2. It increases obsession and insecurity

When we intend to gain worldly admiration, we try to increase the actions which give us likes and shares. Awake or asleep, on the prayer mat or at the dining table, our mind starts to worry about it! Gradually, worldly gain and loss start to matter more than internal peace and spirituality. Keeping an eye on what other people think about us, and what other people are doing, causes envy and jealousy, and a vicious cycle of competition. Consider when Allah says,

“Competition in [worldly] increase diverts you, Until you visit the graveyards.” [Qur’an: Chapter 102, Verses 1 – 2]

At this point, we must remember that not every person who likes our uploads is necessarily happy about our success and happiness. And, when we step into the reality, it may be shocking to realize that we are not as admired by others as the number of likes on our pictures may suggest.

3. It disturbs and distracts others

While posting all the happy moments, new gadgets, tours and dining plates on social media, we need to be careful of the evil eye. The evil eye can cause a break in relationships, a fall in health and a loss of wealth and property.

Additionally, we must realize that many people out there are not blessed with what we have or may be in great need. The more we post about our material things, the more possible it is to sadden and distract people who have less than us. This can make them feel bad, ashamed or ungrateful for what they do not have. We should also remember that the luxuries we do have, can be taken away by Allah at any time.

4. It fosters riyaa‘ and insincerity

For any acts of worship or good deeds to be accepted, there are two conditions: It should be based on the sunnah of Prophet Muhammad and, it should be done with the sincere intention to please Allah . Showing off in religious acts is called riyaa’. Riyaa’ means to perform acts which are pleasing to Allah with the intention of pleasing others.

Prophet Muhammed explains in a hadith that riyaa’ is a form of shirk:

“Shall I not tell you of that which I fear more for you than Dajjal?” We said: “Yes.” He said: “Hidden polytheism; when a man stands to pray and makes it look good because he sees a man looking at him.” [Sunan Ibn Majah]

Riyaa’ is not just limited to acts of worship like salah and sawm, but any good deeds such as giving charity or helping others that may be done to show off to the people rather than earning the pleasure of the most glorious Lord and it has a diminishing effect on our rewards. The Messenger of Allah said,

“Actions are (judged) by niyyah (motives), so each man will have what he intended. Thus, he whose hijrah (migration) was to Allah and His Messenger, his migration is to Allah and His Messenger; but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated.” [Sahih al-Bukhari]

5. It instills pride

The person who makes a wanton display of his blessings granted to him/her by Allah and gains ‘likes’ from people, believes him/herself to be admired by the people and may think oneself to be superior. While boasting and publicizing our luxuries, looks, and piety, we must remind ourselves of the stern warnings of Prophet Muhammed .

“He who has in his heart the weight of a mustard seed of pride shall not enter Paradise.” A person (amongst his hearers) said: “Verily a person loves that his dress should be fine, and his shoes should be fine.” The Holy Prophet remarked: “Verily, Allah is Graceful and He loves Grace. Pride is disdaining the truth (out of self-conceit) and contempt for the people.” [Sahih Muslim]

Ultimately, this will cause the worst form of pride, which is a result of boasting about our so-called piety. A person praised for piety and knowledge can begin to think him/herself free of weaknesses, mistakes, and sins. When s/he falls into this trap of pride by Shaytaan, s/he doesn’t hesitate in criticizing and humiliating others for their weaknesses and mistakes. If we behave in such a way, how can we be sure our good deeds are being accepted?

How to stop being an attention seeker?

1. Improve self-awareness

The main reason for making our life colorful with others’ paint is the lack of our own paint. We need to know and accept ourselves, and respect ourselves. We need to like ourselves and spend our time productively – this will ensure that we don’t need approval from others. Make a list of your good and bad behaviors from ‘your point of view’ and analyze why they are good or bad. Then, try to improve/eliminate/compliment each one.

2. Develop self-control

People in the habit of attention seeking are engaged in compulsive uploading and following of posts. The moment we get such compulsive thoughts, we should remind ourselves that the acts which are worth doing and spending time after are those which are pleasing to Allah . Wasting an enormous time on networking sites will cause our productivity to decline and our personalities will become rotten. Having self-discipline when it comes to technology and social media is a huge benefit. It means that your strong will and determination will penetrate other areas of your life. Giving up social media is not an easy feat!

3. Have definite and pure intentions

While doing acts of worship or any good deed, we must always keep our intention purely to seek the pleasure of Allah and not to show off. We should be cautious that our deeds may be rejected based on our corrupted intentions. Refine your intentions through self-reflection. Identify which actions may have impure intentions; every time you perform that action again, make an internal intention that you are only doing it for the sake of Allah .

4. Time management

In order to limit the time spent on networking sites, we should dedicate a fixed time during the day to browse social media. Apart from these times, we should not log on to these sites. Free time should be utilized for beneficial activities, like gaining knowledge and studying Islamic sciences, productive hobbies, and using your skills for the benefit of society. Recently, I was reminded of this when a friend shared their experience with 토토 사이트, highlighting how they managed to balance online entertainment with real-world activities. Once we have this aim, we will come outside the realm of the virtual world of networking sites and get involved in the real world. We might even forget that we have profiles on social networking sites, in sha Allah.

Seek attention from whom it matters

I would like to conclude that when certain wrong things are done in the society for a long time, they become a norm. Attention seeking through social media has also become a norm in the society despite its adverse effects. We must strive to break this vicious cycle. If we do wish to seek attention, we must strive to seek the attention of the inhabitants of heaven. What greater audience can we find than them?

Allah’s Messenger said: “When Allah loves a person, He calls Jibreel and says: ‘I love So and so, so love him.’ So Jibreel loves him, then he calls out to the people of heaven, ‘Allah loves So and so, so love him.’ So the people of heaven love him and he finds acceptance on earth.” [Sahih al-Bukhari]

What methods do you suggest to decrease “like-o-mania”? Share your ideas in the comments below!

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