She is also the Academy instructor of the course How to Become A Successful Muslim Entrepreneur which covers easy and practical steps to kick-start your successful, meaningful and productive entrepreneurial journey.

In this episode, Sa’Diyya discusses her journey to becoming financially independent, finding her passion in marketing, and eventually, her love for helping Muslim women attain the financial independence they long for and deserve, by creating thriving and profitable online businesses. Having a strong, positive online reputation also helps bring in more foot traffic to your business. Hospitality Review Management services can help enhance your brand’s online reputation and drive long-term success. 

Resources:

• MuslimESummit (29th January – 5th February 2018)
• How to Become A Successful Muslim Entrepreneur – Learn easy and practical steps to kick-start your successful, meaningful and productive entrepreneurial journey

Connect with Sa’Diyya through her website and Facebook.

Thank You For Listening!

Did you enjoy this episode? If so, please leave a review for us on iTunes or Stitcher Radio. This helps us get the word out there and in turn, give us the opportunity to benefit more people. Have a Question? Send in your voicemail here. We pray that you enjoyed this season as much as we enjoyed hosting and producing it.

The post How to Become a Successful Muslim Entrepreneur with Sa’Diyya Patel (Podcast Interview) appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

“I’m doing great alhamdulillah; I just got a promotion at work, and I finished memorizing more of the Qur’an; my brother just had a baby girl.”

“Oh, Masha’Allah… so when is it your turn to get married? How old are you now, by the way?”

Most, if not all, single ladies out there have heard some variation of this line of questioning. The marriage issue tends to come up a bit too often that it seems nothing in your life matters unless you get married. This underlying notion can be damaging to one’s spiritual, physical and personal productivity, especially if people have been trying their best to find a spouse, but it hasn’t been destined for them to meet the right person yet—and this is their test from Allah .

With pressure from those around to get married, it can make a person feel helpless, lost, burdened or worthless. On the one hand, you can’t just pluck a husband/wife from thin air and this period of looking/waiting can be a big trial for you, on the other hand, everywhere you go, there seems to be someone who asks if you’re married or not, and if not, why, what’s wrong with you…?

At one point, I actually started thinking: what if I were someone who would never get married? But I realized that when you start to lose hope and fall into despair, the pressure around you can get even more destructive. So, you need to be able to have the right mindset and right perspective of this whole situation.

We might not be able to change the people around us or stop the pressure coming from them, but we can change our own selves and how we respond to our situations in order to be the best version of ourselves in every condition that Allah puts us in. Here are a few tips that helped me and can help you too.

Recognize your worth

It’s very important not to allow the negative talks or questions make you think any less of yourself. Allah says:

“And we have certainly honored the children of Adam…” [Qur’an: Chapter 17, Verse 70]

Allah honored all the children of Adam; your worth in the sight of the Creator is not defined by whether you get married or not. Rather, your worth is defined by your taqwa (God-consciousness/righteousness).

“Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.” [Qur’an: Chapter 49, Verse 13]

At what point your future spouse will come into your life is for Allah to decide, not you. To define your worth or belittle your achievements because of something that you have no control over is both spiritually and emotionally damaging.

Najwa Awad, psychotherapist said:

“It’s very unfortunate that there will always be people who make unnecessary and hurtful comments about how a woman carries herself, especially if she is unmarried. A Muslim woman needs to remember, however, that the most important relationship she will ever have in her life is with her Creator; if He is happy with her then nothing else matters. If a Muslimah bases her self- identity around her spirituality and being a genuinely good person she will find that criticism from others, regarding other parts of herself, won’t sting as much.

Allah decrees everything at an appointed time- when we are born when we die and even when we get married. If family members keep asking why she is not married she should respond that Allah is Perfect, His timing is Perfect and he will decree for marriage to come when it’s time. In the meantime the Muslimah should seek to better herself, just like everyone else, by taking good care of her mind (through reading and education), her heart (doing good deeds), and her body (eating right and exercising).”

Empathize with those putting pressure

This sounds strange because why would you empathize with the ones who are putting pressure on you, especially when they’re family members/parents who’re meant to support not pressure you?

It’s easy to become angry and resentful. However, taking a step back to look past the words, and understand the person instead can take off a lot of the pressure and negativity.

A lot of behavioral traits in families are built through watching experiences of other family members through generations. It may be that our parents have struggled mentally and emotionally and were only given affection a certain way, which then gets passed on to us. A lot of parents still come from backgrounds where their children represent their success. At tea parties, weddings, dinners etc., kids are always the topic of conversation. 

“So what job does your son have?”

“Is your daughter married? Not yet? Oh, such a shame…”

Now imagine a parent whose own parents are still alive, and are putting pressure on them as to when their grandchildren are getting married.

This is not to justify the harsh words or tell anyone to put up with them but to hopefully help you understand that some people weren’t taught to recognize success beyond marriage, and this is not your problem. Looking for experienced wedding photographers Rhode Island? Contact Stacy Smith Photography.

Remember the Words of Allah more than the words of people

Once you can empathize, internally you can break free of the chains of holding yourself to standards that are bringing you down. The standard here isn’t getting married. I personally want to get married and I ask Allah for a righteous husband daily. But when a person is told they lack X, Y, and Z, they can’t look past those hurtful comments. But you have to look past that to grow!

We’re not saying don’t aspire to get married, we’re also not saying get destroyed for not being able to get married at the moment. We’re saying there is a balance. “Tie it and rely upon Allah,” as the Messenger says. [at-Tirmidhi]. Take the halal means, and leave it to Allah. Anything that happens in your life afterward will be to your own advantage if you’re patient and your relationship with Allah is still strong.

The Prophet says:

“Never a believer is stricken with a discomfort, an illness, an anxiety, a grief or mental worry or even the pricking of a thorn but Allah will expiate his sins on account of his patience.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

So maybe those hurtful people and hurtful comments are there to expiate your sins and raise your ranks in the Hereafter for eternity!

Remember, getting married and having children in and of itself is not an accomplishment, but patience is.

Allah says:

“Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account.” [Qur’an: Chapter 39, Verse 10]

And He says:

“And it is not your wealth or your children that bring you nearer to Us in position, but it is [by being] one who has believed and done righteousness. For them there will be the double reward for what they did, and they will be in the upper chambers [of Paradise], safe [and secure].” [Qur’an: Chapter 34, Verse 37]

And He says:

“Wealth and children are [but] adornment of the worldly life. But the enduring good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for [one’s] hope.” [Qur’an: Chapter 18, Verse 46]

The Qur’an puts matters in perspective, and this is extremely important. You have to remember the words of Allah more than the words of people, and you can’t let what’s temporary ruin what’s eternal.

Clear communication breaks the cycle of negativity

When someone asks you, why you haven’t gotten married yet, you can say: because Allah decided that now wasn’t the time, or because I haven’t met someone yet.

With strangers, it’s easy to tell them to make dua, or keep an eye open if they find someone suitable for you, but what about with your own parents?

Some people have fallen into a cycle of arguing with their parents about why they’re not married yet and being blamed for it, and then getting angry and trying to avoid forcible setups with people they’re not compatible with.

I had a friend who was going through this. Her mother kept asking her things like, “How did you go to university and not meet someone? Were you misbehaving? You probably gave off a bad impression, that’s why men didn’t approach you. You know I was married at 22, you’re now 23, you’d better find a husband soon, you can’t remain a burden on your father and I like this. When I was growing up I had so many marriage proposals, how many did you have?”

My friend’s responses used to be very angry: “Oh my god! You know what, come and meet the men at my university, and you’ll see that there wasn’t anyone suitable, and how can you say that no one wanted to approach me, we’re not living back in your country where any random stranger just comes and proposes to you. And fine if you don’t want me as a burden sure I’ll just move out so you won’t have to deal with me!”

My friend always felt angry and started actively avoiding her parents, because the moment her parents would see her, she would think that all they see is an unmarried girl.

Now, this was a negative cycle that my friend learned how to break out of. Breaking the cycle doesn’t mean changing another person, or telling them how they should interact with you. Expressing your feelings should be about how you feel, as opposed to how others are making you feel. It’s about not taking the bait to engage in the same repeated heated argument. You cannot make a parent for example stop putting pressure on you, but when you respond differently, the cycle begins to break.

One day, my friend tried a different approach. She tried being very calm and understanding with her Mom; they had a discussion that went something like this:

Mother: Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider your ex-fiancé?

Friend: Mama, he was controlling and possessive and I wouldn’t have been happy with him.

Mother: Okay so how are you planning to find someone? Or are you intending to live off your father and me? You’re now 23, and you have no one.”

Friend: Mama I do want to get married, but I don’t know how to. Would you like me to message my friends and let them know that I’m looking for a husband and I need to find one soon?

Mother: No of course not! That’s so undignified, don’t do that!

Friend: Okay so what would you have me do? Have a sign on my forehead that reads “SINGLE”? You want me to be happy, don’t you?

Mother: Of course I do.

Friend: Then what should I do? You always tell me that a person’s partner is written for them when they’re born and is not something they need to chase after because Allah will give it to them, so how can I force Allah’s plan? I can’t just get a husband from thin air. When you met Baba, it was by the decree of Allah, it wasn’t planned. You both grew up in 2 different countries, and Allah still brought you together. You didn’t have to go after him.

Mother: Yes that is true. Allah’s plan is perfect, and whatever He has written for you will reach you no matter where you are.

Friend: So don’t you believe that the man that He has written for me will also reach me?

Mother: Yes that’s true; I am just worried about you sometimes.

And this is an important point; sometimes the people that we’re angry with are genuinely trying to help us and they are panicking out of deep love for us. They don’t know how to deal with what seems to them like a problem, so they put pressure on us. It doesn’t mean we’re worthless, it means they’re unable to channel their emotions and their help towards us the right way.

My friend’s discussion with her Mom revealed that her Mom had an insecurity that a lack of marriage proposals indicated a problem with her daughter, and that’s what fueled the arguments. Part of this again was her own upbringing. But with clear communication, the cycle of negativity broke.

Even within this discussion, my friend’s mother kept saying things that would usually provoke an angry reaction from her daughter. Remaining calm is not always easy; it requires constant effort. When trying to break the cycle of anger and negativity, look for the bait and avoid it. This is where you need to continue to be patient, and remember that your reward is with Allah . It is not from the akhlaq of the believer to actively distance herself/himself from their parents, and when breaking the cycle, you need to make an active effort on your part to cultivate a relationship of compassion and affection.

This may mean that sometimes you make conversations with your parents to get their opinion on marriage, for example. Simply ask them, how did they know they wanted to get married? What qualities did they look for in a partner? Or what were your grandparents’ reactions to their marriage? Making your parents feel valued goes a long way in helping you to empathize with them, and look beyond their harsh words onto their experiences and/or insecurities.

The goal here is not to change your parents, but to change yourself. Identify your own cycle and break out of it because it’s unhealthy, exhausting and creates nothing but resentment, self-doubt, and erodes a person’s self-esteem.

Face your problems and engage in self-purification

A girl once asked her older brother to make dua for Allah to bring her a righteous husband. Her brother retorted “Err, go be righteous yourself first.”

Whatever you expect in your partner, be sure that you can embody those traits yourself. None of us are without flaws, but sometimes we see marriage as a solution to our problems. If someone has difficult parents, they think getting married and moving out is the solution. If someone has a pornography addiction, they think getting married will cure them. This is wrong.

Whatever sins, weaknesses or insecurities you had before marriage, could still exist after marriage. So, you have to face your own problems and work on yourself.

Your environment may exacerbate or lessen the impact, however; ultimately, you are responsible for your own spiritual, emotional, mental and physical well-being.

Be honest with yourself about your own weaknesses and start working on them from now. If you are emotionally entangled with someone, for example, you need to cut that off. It’s unfair to get to know a potential partner whilst having someone else in your heart.

Purify yourself so that Allah can bring you someone pure as well. And basically, look at this “waiting/looking” period as a purification period. This way, you increase in eternal rewards, and then when Allah wills, He’ll bring you the worldly reward you asked for as well- but by then, you would have made your scales heavy.

When you’re engaged in self-purification which also entails being in the close company of the Qur’an, seeking sacred knowledge and being around the righteous company, this will make you a lot calmer and help you put matters in their right perspective and avoid panicking/magnifying issues.

Perfect your akhlaq and don’t cause pressure to someone else

I realized something a few weeks ago. As much as I dislike being asked about why I’m single, I frequently asked my friends if they have met someone or not. When they would mention someone casually, my mind used to wander and think hmm, is something going on? Part of it was indulging in gossip and part of it was indulging in curiosity.

The Prophet says:

“Part of the perfection of one’s Islam is his leaving that which does not concern him.” [Nawawi]

I realized that I took part in the pressure that I complained about.

I once asked an international colleague I worked with online how old she was. She is someone I love dearly but I have never seen her or met her. I told her that I was curious. Her response was “I prefer to discipline people’s curiosity.”

I have never forgotten that; and if there’s one thing I try to perfect as part of my akhlaq (manners), it’s to not be curious about another person’s life. If they volunteer information, that’s fine, but I shouldn’t pry into someone’s life.

You know when there is someone who carelessly and casually asks a married woman “still no kids yet?” that question upsets me, this is poor akhlaq; we don’t know people’s struggles. We don’t know what they’re going through. Maybe that woman is infertile, maybe her husband is, and maybe they’ve been trying for a very long time, and they don’t need someone to remind them of their trial.

There are so many things to discuss in this world, so I learned to not take a person’s personal life as a tea time discussion topic.

So, on a very positive note, one can really learn aspects that softens his/her hearts and perfect their character—and a perfect character is one of the heaviest things that could be added on a person’s scale on the Day of Judgment.

The Prophet said:

“The heaviest thing which will be put on the believer’s scale (on the Day of Resurrection) will be good morals.” [Related by Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi who graded it as Sahih]

And Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:

“The fear of Allah and good morals (Akhlaq) are the two major characteristics which lead to Paradise.” [Related by At-Tirmidhi and Al-Hakim graded it as Sahih.]

Expect good to come to you and never give up hope

Sometimes it is easy to fall into the trap of pessimism during this period of waiting and dealing with pressure. So, always try to let your heart and mind be exposed to things which are positive and uplifting, and remember that Allah is as you expect Him to be; if you put into your mind that Allah will bring you an amazing partner who will be good for you in this life and the next, then it will happen, insha’Allah, no matter how long it takes for this to happen! No one can stop what Allah decrees for you.

So, never stop supplicating to Allah for what you want. We learn from the Qur’an from the story of Prophet Zechariah that he continued to ask Allah for what he needed despite the old age and the seeming impossibility for his request to be fulfilled… yet, he knew that nothing is impossible for Allah .

“[This is] a mention of the mercy of your Lord to His servant Zechariah

When he called to his Lord a private supplication.

He said, “My Lord, indeed my bones have weakened, and my head has filled with white, and never have I been in my supplication to You, my Lord, unhappy.

And indeed, I fear the successors after me, and my wife has been barren, so give me from Yourself an heir

Who will inherit me and inherit from the family of Jacob. And make him, my Lord, pleasing [to You].”

[He was told], “O Zechariah, indeed We give you good tidings of a boy whose name will be John. We have not assigned to any before [this] name.”

He said, “My Lord, how will I have a boy when my wife has been barren and I have reached extreme old age?”

[An angel] said, “Thus [it will be]; your Lord says, ‘It is easy for Me, for I created you before, while you were nothing.’ “[Qur’an: Chapter 19, Verse 2-9]

So, anticipate goodness from your Creator and you will surely find it, and remember that the believer’s affairs are all good for him/her.

Have these tips benefitted you? Share with us your other tips and thoughts in the comments.

The post Dealing With the Pressure to Get Married appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

Action points

• find some “me time” in your daily schedule
• make a list of physical activities/exercise you are interested in
• learn to take some time off and do activities which you enjoy
• clear your mind and focus on the exercise while working out, this is known as The Mind-muscle Connection
• keep a fitness journal and track your improvements (physical, emotional and spiritual)

Your gut health = overall health

There are approximately 100 million nerves found in the lining of the gut.  Our gut is lined with millions of bacteria which are responsible for the body’s vitamin and mineral absorbency, hormone regulation, digestion, vitamin production, immune response, ability to eliminate toxins and your overall mental health.The body is composed of more bacteria than cells. These bacteria collectively are called Microbiome.

Good gut bacteria decides how we feel physically, mentally and emotionally. Poor gut health has been implicated in neurological and Neuro-psychiatric disorders. Disturbances in gut health have been linked to multiple sclerosis, autistic spectrum disorders, Parkinson’s disease and a whole range of auto-immune diseases.

Here, the food we eat comes under the spotlight: if healthy eating has not been a priority for you, good gut health is a great reason to replace those processed and nutritionally void foods for home-cooked, wholesome meals. Introducing clean eating habits, a daily exercise regime, and Pro-Biotics, you stand a good chance of increasing mental alertness and sharpening your focus. A healthy gut helps us achieve our goals or can hinder us through various illnesses. Muslimahs who are looking to improve health, and gain mental clarity can easily see immediate results by paying attention to their gut health.

Action points

• brush up on the basics of nutrition and exercise
• include simple and natural probiotics such as fresh curd, sour kraut, cheese from grass-fed cows
• include vegetables of all colors
• purchase fresh meats and fish only
• remove processed and packaged foods
• swap carbonated drinks and sugary juices with fresh smoothies

Taking care of your body is an act of gratitude to its Creator

This body is a gift from Allah  and we must preserve it and pray for good health. Hold on to this thought, when asking for good health from Allah we also have to take the necessary steps to make sure we can achieve, retain and keep improving our health. Parallel to our Tawakkul (trust in Allah ), our efforts should match the intentions.  A conscious effort is required to maintain a fit body that can assist us in reaching our goals. Exercise and clean eating have the power to transform not only the body but also towards helping to build a strong Muslimah who is confident and focused enough to tackle this dunya.

Action points

• find fitness role models to follow (social media is great for this)
• create your own exercise routine
• spend some time planning meals ahead of time
• make a healthy grocery list
• search for great easy to make recipes for the week

Your strong body leads to the strong mind you need

A healthy and strong Muslimah is better geared to improve the quality of her relationships and worship. A direct result of eating clean and exercise is the ability to focus more on tasks and complete them thoroughly. Are you wondering how to increase your mental focus, patience, and confidence? I wouldn’t hesitate to advise you to work out regularly. Exercise increases blood flow and removes toxins, it also improves the quality of muscle, bone, and organs. Do you have a slow metabolism? Working out fixes that too. When the body goes through exercise it will require and crave more food, and healthy foods at that. Keep to that new workout routine (be persistent) and see the positive changes. A strong Muslimah is strong physically, mentally and spiritually.

Action points

• share your physical fitness goals with your spouse and loved ones
• encourage your loved ones to join you on physical activities
• find at least 20 to 45 mins to workout, 4 to 6 days a week
• share your interest in being physically active with your spouse and loved ones
• stick to your workout routine, physical changes will show after 3 weeks

You can turn into a better and happier ‘You’

It’s more than just a health resolution. It’s a reminder that we have the power to make decisions and create positive changes in our life. Indeed, life 1400 years ago, is not comparable with the lifestyle of today. Their lifestyle required more physical activity and cleaner foods, which shaped our first leading women to be stronger and fitter then most of us are today. But that isn’t a point to dwell on, rather it must be taken as a motivation to make healthy changes.

Exercise boosts cognitive function, improves memory and concentration, increases creativity, and fights depression. Love it or hate it, the runners high is real. That boost of happy hormones is homemade and improves mental health, it has even been proven to influence the way you may handle relationships in a positive way. So include more intense exercise for the happy mind. Join in on more sports and exercise challenges. Change that ultra-processed diet to include more fresh whole foods. A healthy Muslimah has the stamina to spread knowledge, to be a role model, and become a helping hand in the community.

Action points

• remove toxic and hazardous foods from your house
• make a list of healthy changes you want to bring in your family
• share your ideas of healthy changes with your family
• sit with friends to share the new health-related knowledge you have gained
• raise awareness in your community about health and fitness

Finally, remember that life is short and spending it being unhealthy and weak can only lead to regret. You have the power to make healthy changes for you and your loved ones. You can spend time looking for things to blame, or you can take control of your health and have faith in the Creator to help you with this journey.  

So, what changes can you make today towards a healthier and happier lifestyle? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

The post Here is Why Sisters Need to Exercise, Eat Clean & Become Healthier Today! appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

Well, our Prophet , our pious predecessors, scholars, and entrepreneurs had exactly the same amount of time we do: 24 hours a day. But they were able to achieve so much because they made the most out of every minute that Allah has blessed them with.

One of the prime reasons for our plummeting productivity is wasting time in vain talk; any speech or conversations which are not beneficial, and could actually be sinful. Consider this: How much time do we spend talking about “people” – celebrity or not, or discussing private lives, or what people choose to publicise? Vain talk used to only be an issue when groups of people came together, but with the commonness of social media and smartphones, vain talk, or laghw in Arabic, is now a serious problem in phone calls, text or WhatsApp messages, or commenting on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. SubhanAllah! We may not even realize it, but by a simple comment or message, we may have fallen into the major sin of gossip or slander.

Why is it harmful?

Since vain talk drastically eats up one’s time and distracts him/her from fulfilling their purpose in life or being focused on what really matters, we see that the Qur’an and sunnah repeatedly talk about disciplining one’s speech.

Allah says,

“Certainly will the believers have succeeded: They who are during their prayer humbly submissive, and they who turn away from ill speech…” [Quran: Chapter 23, Verse 1-3]

“And [they are] those who do not testify to falsehood, and when they pass near ill speech, they pass by with dignity... Those will be awarded the Chamber for what they patiently endured, and they will be received therein with greetings and [words of] peace.” [Quran: Chapter 25, Verse 72, 75]

The tongue is a unique organ, which articulates what is one’s heart and mind. And, although it is small in size, its effect can be huge.

The Messenger said,

“He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must either speak good or remain silent.” [Sahih Muslim]

“Abu Musa Al-Ash’ari reported: I asked the Messenger of Allah : “Who is the most excellent among the Muslims?” He said, “One from whose tongue and hands the other Muslims are secure.” [Sahih Muslim]

So, what counts as vain talk?

There are two types of idle talk: the first which is not harmful but has no benefit, and the second which causes harm and is sinful. Both types of futile speech make a person extremely unproductive. Nowadays, there is so much more opportunity for the vain talk that we have to be wary of, especially online, as one may fall into it unintentionally. Some of these are:

• Gossiping and backbiting (mentioning the faults of others) or slander (making up things about people) whether face to face, within a group, or writing in messages on WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger etc.
• Commenting something negative on someone’s post or picture on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc. without necessity
• Commenting something useless on a post or picture, especially celebrity posts
• Indulging in debates that lead to arguing
• Sharing private information about someone via social media

So, consider the following:

When in a group or on social media, are you tempted to discuss the lives and actions of others? As soon as someone mentions another person, do you immediately dive into the conversation with your own set of facts and figures about them?

Stop, think and reflect.

If you think this may be the case, let’s explore some ways we can beat this killer of productivity, vain talk.

1. Consider Allah first

It is a commonplace thing today to see people heartily discussing other’s faults, actions, future consequences of their actions and so on, without complete knowledge about them or their intentions. This can totally be eliminated if we just change the topic we talk about. The world is full of mysteries, miracles, beauty, and knowledge. Why don’t we spend time appreciating creation and praising the Creator ? Why don’t we remember Him with everything we do and spiritually enlighten ourselves to The Divine? Why don’t we spend our time doing something beneficial and useful?

Time is precious and we have been allotted a specific time on this earth, imbibed in our books from the day we are born. Let us guard our tongues against the temptation of vain talk.

The key to productivity is to refrain from such actions altogether. How do we battle this out with our nafs? How do we resist the temptation to speak ill about others?

The answer to this is above all to have Taqwa. To remember Allah’s words in the Qur’an and reflect upon them. Allah says of gossiping:

“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear God, verily, God is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.” [Quran: Chapter 49, Verse 12]

“When you received it with your tongues and said with your mouths that of which you had no knowledge and thought it was insignificant while it was, in the sight of Allah, tremendous.” [Quran: Chapter 24, Verse 15]

We think gossiping is a minor matter when we speak of others without any knowledge of them – we shouldn’t speak about others even if we have the correct knowledge about them! Many a time, discussions are not heated, but light-hearted and we are we are committing gheebah unknowingly. But in the court of Allah , this is a serious matter.

2. Disregard

“And why did you not, when you heard it, say? It is not right of us to speak of this: Glory to God, this is a most serious slander.” [Quran: Chapter 24, Verse 16]

When we hear any rumor or slander about any person, we do not stop to think if it is true. In fact, most people spread it, when in reality, we should be stemming the growth of such slander. For example, when someone comes to us with any kind of information about another person, we should ask three questions:

• Is it good?
• Is it useful/beneficial?
• Is it true?

If we answer two or three in the negative, let’s leave the conversation at that and try to talk about other things. Disregard any negative things said about a third person in a conversation, and focus on the positive.

3. Practice silence

Allah says,

“And tell My servants to say that which is best. Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them. Indeed Satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy.” [Quran: Chapter 17, Verse 53]

And The Messenger said,

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say [something] good, or he should keep silent.” [Sahih al-Bukhari]

We should speak that of others which is good. Speaking ill of others comes from shaitan. So if we hear any kind of ill-talk or negativity being discussed about someone, we should counter it with whatever good we know about the person. If we cannot think of anything to say that may be good or positive, we should remain silent and not express our opinion or further the conversation. If there is any way we can bring the topic to a close, we should try our best to do so. That way, conversations are shortened and we save time discussing useless topics.

4. Evaluate your social scene

The Messenger said,

“A man is upon the religion of his friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” [Jami’ at-Tirmidhi]

Try not to socialize with groups that often engage in vain talk. In cases where socializing entails family gatherings or dinners, or social gatherings at work, it is important to remember the first three tips and apply them where necessary. One can politely excuse himself/herself from the gathering early, if possible if people begin to indulge in vain talk or conversations that don’t reap any benefit.

When such talk arises in one’s own family, it is our duty to advise our family members (spouses and children mostly) about the rights of fellow Muslims, and how we should strive to protect and preserve their honor and dignity verbally, by not talking ill about them. We should set an example ourselves by displaying such behavior in our homes and gatherings, and promote positive speech in all situations. We should also highlight the importance of time, and how we should use our precious time on better, more productive activities.

The best way to avoid idle talk, especially with family, is to be proactive and prevent it from happening in the first place. Family gatherings can be made more interesting and productive, is by assigning a topic of conversation at each gathering. For instance, you can talk about the latest developments in various fields of your interest (science, engineering, finance etc), or listen to a lecture by your favorite scholar and then discuss what you learned. You could even organize games and activities, for both adults and children.

It is important to note that children must be kept away from vain talk from when they are little. The negative conversation has a profound impact on children and affects the way they perceive others and compel them to make early and wrong judgments about other people. We should instead teach by example, not to judge others, and to always have good thoughts about people, whether they know them or not.

5. Schedule your day smartly

Schedule your day from the moment you wake up all the way till bedtime. Divide your day for prayer, work, cooking, reading, spending time with your children in play and learning, and Islamic learning. By doing this we don’t just avoid bad speech within our homes, but also cultivate a productive lifestyle in our homes for our spouses and children.

We are obliged to follow our beloved Prophet Muhammad – the best guide to productivity. His sunnah refers not just to acts of worship but also acts of humanity and day-to-day living. It is not just centered around building our iman, but also around building good character. So, we mustn’t forget that.

Now tell us, how do you remain focused? what are your best tips for beating vain talk? Share your comments down below!

The post How Vain Talk Kills Your Productivity & What to Do About It appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

“So how long have you and Amy been friends for?” I asked Sameera.

“Almost twenty years now,” she replied with a bitter laugh.

Sameera and her husband lived in little cottage house in the suburbs. I couldn’t help but notice how immaculately organized their living room was. ‘Picture perfect’ were the first two words that came to my mind when I first walked in.

“You must very be close then, right?” I asked.

“Of course we are. What kind of question is that?” She frowned.

“I was only stating the obvious. She hosted your birthday dinner at her house, and from what I hear it was extravagant! Caviar, lobsters, a five tiered cake…” I said.

“That’s Amy. She loves to spend money like it’s going out of style. Especially other people’s money.” Sameera half joked.

Last year

“I just love your house. It’s so warm and cozy, like a miniature dollhouse,” Amy marveled.

“You sound like a thesaurus coming up with new terms for the word ‘small’. I know it doesn’t compare to your Beverly Hills mansion, but it’s my home and I love it just the way it is, thank you very much,” Sameera snapped.

“Oh my God, I didn’t mean it that way,” Amy gasped.

“It’s fine,” Sameera waved her hand. “Anyways, so I called the girls and we’re all set for tomorrow…”

“Oh Sam, I’m sorry I can’t make it. Mohanad just told me we’re going to Paris tomorrow for this major business conference. He’s gonna be the keynote speaker. I can’t miss it”

“I don’t believe this. Do you know how long I’ve been preparing for your birthday brunch?”

“I know I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do though”

“Forget it. I always come last with you. What else is new?” 

“Ohhhh please I feel horrible as it is. I’ll make it up to you I promise.” Amy sounded genuinely sorry. “To be honest, I don’t really wanna go on this trip, but there’s no way out of it”

“Why not?”

“I’m only excited about the shopping part, but the rest of it… ugh… I hate those formal events. They’re so boring. And then there’s the after parties with his snooty Parisian friends and I don’t speak a word of French. I sit there nodding and faking smiles till my jaws ache,” Amy complained, only trying to make her friend feel better.

“Well, that’s the price you pay for marrying a rich man. Fakeness and plastic surgeries come with the territory.  Remember back in college when you only fell for the rich guys? You were voted ‘Most Likely To Marry Well’,” Sameera sighed.

“And you were voted ‘Most Likely To Succeed’,” Amy replied.

“But I DID succeed.” Sameera’s tone changed again.

“I know honey, that’s why I…”

“Then what’s with the pity eyes?” Sameera stood up and crossed her arms.

“What pity eyes? I pity myself actually. Did you not hear the ‘jaws ache’ story?”

“There’s more to life than expensive jewelry and Versace dresses, Amy! You know what… Forget it.” Sameera stomped to the kitchen to get something they can both stuff their faces with. Anything to get Amy to stop talking. She looked at the fruit salad she was about to serve, and secretly drizzled it with a teensy bit of strawberry syrup.

A little bit more.

Yup, that should do it.

 Amy ended up in the hospital that night with a persistent rash and of course, sadly, she missed her trip.

 “I was going through Amy’s medical reports. Other than the night of your birthday party, the last time she got a similar allergic reaction, was here in your house. Is this correct?” I asked.

“So what are you insinuating? Every time she gets the hives, I must be blamed for it?” Sameera asked. She was trying to keep her cool, but her body language betrayed her, for I could tell she was extremely uncomfortable.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying at…”

“You know, opening this case again makes absolutely no sense. Amy didn’t even bat an eye when the necklace got stolen. She genuinely didn’t care, so why do you?”

“Stolen? The investigations were inconclusive. There’s no proof yet the necklace was stolen. Do you have reason to believe it was?” I sneered.

“I just assumed since it was never found…” Sameera stammered.

“I understand,” I nodded. “Did you see the necklace after the hives incident?”

“How would that be possible? Amy took it off in her room!”

“Amy’s son Hamza said he saw you go upstairs right after dessert. Is that correct?”

“Umm yes. I needed to wash my hands and the guest bathroom was busy. Ask anyone, I was only gone for like five minutes,” Sameera replied quickly.

I put my pen down and folded my arms, staring back at the restless woman for a silent moment.

“I don’t appreciate your accusatory attitude. I’m a college professor. I think I deserve some respect.”

“I apologize if I’ve offended you in any way. I’m just gathering information, it’s nothing personal,” I said as I got up to leave. “One last question, who was occupying the guest bathroom at the time when you had no option but to go upstairs?”

“Ummm, my husband? Why…?”

That same evening

“Oh my God they’re in this together!” My assistant Jenna shrieked. “Sameera and her husband planned the whole thing.”

“Or it could be random,” I added.

“There’s nothing random about her attitude. She’s toxic! She takes everything so personally. Only a guilty person would get this defensive”

“She’s projecting,” I said.

“Eeww like vomiting?”

“No” I laughed. “She’s using projection as a defense mechanism.”

“Elaborate please”

“Okay, I’ll give you an example since you love them so much. Let’s say you step outside wearing those new designer Cat-eye shades. You know they’re in style but deep down feel insecure about wearing them. If someone so much as looks at you a little longer than they should, instead of admitting you feel weird about the shades, you might get defensive like ‘You don’t like them? Do you know how much they cost? Only A-list celebrities wear these. You obviously know nothing about fashion.”. That’s projection. Get it?”

“Umm no?” Jenna had a legendary puzzled look on her face.

“We all have flaws and insecurities, but sometimes they can get too overwhelming, and we find them too painful to deal with. When this happens to you, you might project them onto other people and tell yourself they’re the ones with the flaws, not you. They’re the ones making your life miserable, not you. Instead of facing your shameful, embarrassing or uncomfortable feelings, you pin them on others, making them the villains in your story while you’re the innocent victim. Get it now?”

“Yes”

“Really?”

“No”

“It’s okay, took me a while to fully comprehend it too” I laughed. “I’ll give you examples of different types of projections:

A wife calls her husband ‘uncaring’, ‘insensitive’ and ‘selfish’ when he goes out with his friends. She’s projecting an inner fear of abandonment.

A man says ‘my boss hates me for no reason’ instead of admitting that he’s the one who loathes his boss.

A woman thinks she’s overweight but won’t face that ‘worst female phobia’, so instead she snaps at her loved ones for thinking she’s unattractive, even if they’ve never uttered a word of dismay.

A teenager makes a silly mistake and then gets offended or aggressive when his or her friends jokingly point it out. They’re projecting their insecurities onto other people because deep down they worry they’re not smart enough.

A person is anxious in social situations so they say ‘people are horrible’ instead of admitting to his or her anxiety.

Recognizing our own shortcomings causes pain, and so we use projection to protect ourselves. ‘I’m not envious, they’re envious of me. I’m not ashamed; you’re the one who should feel ashamed. I’m not cheating, you’re the cheater’. Get it?”

“I finally get it. So perhaps Sameera is projecting her inner feeling of jealousy from her friend Amy”

“Exactly”

“How do you fix projectors?” Jenna asked and we both laughed at the pun words.

“So projection allows us to throw out our ugly feelings and insecurities onto others, but the thing is, it’s like a boomerang, those feelings will always find a way to come back to us again. A chronic projector will eventually master the victim’s role and be convinced that everyone else is trying to destroy him. That’s no way to live. Unless we learn to put our egos down (and it’s not easy), it’s almost impossible to cure what we refuse to see. Whenever we feel judged, threatened or criticized, we must take a moment to reflect on the words being said as opposed to how we heard them. Swallow our pride instead of believing every comment or piece of advice is an indirect accusation.”

“You gotta admit, it does seem suspicious. Wasn’t it Sameera’s fault Amy got the hives that night? She’s brought the dessert to her own birthday dinner and insisted it was strawberry free!”

“No, it wasn’t her. It was Nadir.” I said.

“Who’s Nadir?”

“Sameera’s husband…”

To be continued…

What is that utmost important thing that you realized while reading this episode of “Who are you defending?”? Share with us in the comments!

Read Prologue | Episode 1 | Episode 2| Episode 4 | Episode 5 | Episode 6

The post “Who Are You Defending?” – Episode 3: Projection as a Self Defense Mechanism appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

ProductiveMuslim brings you this interview with Sr. Khadija Abdus Sabur, a Transformational Coach, Certified Integrative Nutritionist, Emotional Wellness Advocate, and Spiritual Health & Holistic Lifestyle Coach. The Founder of Woman by Nature, The Purposeful Muslimah Mastermind, The Self{ish} Project and the “Fill Your Cup First” 7-day Self-Love challenge.

Sister Khadija fuses spiritual principles, practical wellness tools and Islamic Psychology for truly transformational results. She has guided scores of women to heal from trauma, improve their connection with Allah , increase self-esteem, reclaim their health, strengthen their relationships, raise spiritually minded children, and actualize a true wellness of the mind, body & spirit.

So, without further ado, we leave you with this interview; we encourage you to take notes of what you decided to incorporate in your own life and let us hear your thoughts in the comments section.

1. Please remind our readers, why is it important for a Productive Muslim to have a happy and healthy heart?

This is an excellent question, masha Allah. As a Transformational Coach who focuses on a mind/body/spirit perspective, much of my work is around understanding and cultivating a happy and healthy heart, so that sisters can overcome past trauma, surmount obstacles, and connect with themselves and their Lord on a deep level. This allows them to grow as individuals and as part of our Ummah – living and shining as the highest versions of themselves, bi’thniAllah (with the permission of Allah ).

I firmly believe that for a Productive Muslim – someone who wants to thrive and excel in this life and the next – a happy and healthy heart is crucial, from a number of perspectives.

Spiritually – When it comes to maintaining and enhancing our spiritual connection, obeying Allah’s commands and staying away from what He has prohibited, and striving to be purposeful and productive in this life – a healthy heart is paramount.

Masha Allah, we all know this famous portion of a longer hadith:

“…Verily, in the body is a small piece of flesh that if it is healthy, the whole body is healthy and if it is sick, the whole body is sick. This small piece of flesh is the heart.”
[Sahîh al-Bukhârî]

In this, we can see the paramount importance of a sound and healthy heart, as it influences and directs the rest of our body. It influences our eyes and what we gaze upon, our ears and what we allow them to listen to, our mouth and the words we utter, our limbs and the actions we take, our feet and the places we walk to…

All of this (how we use our body) becomes what fills our book of deeds, which we will be asked about on the Day of Judgment. And our deeds are ultimately influenced by the state of our heart.

Physically – In order to move throughout life and to carry out your purpose in the most efficient and energetic way, physical health is important. The physical health of your heart (or lack thereof) greatly impacts your actions, the opportunities you are able to partake of – and ultimately your lifespan.

As Believers, we know that it is an amanah (trust) to maintain our physical health as much as possible, which aids in longevity, vigor, and, in sha Allah, increasing our ability to worship our Lord .

Emotionally – a heart mired in pain, doubt and confusion clouds your thinking, blocks your potential and creates an environment that is easy for Shaytan to whisper into.

When the emotional aspect of our heart is neglected, it is easy to become immobilized with fear and indecision, become prey to unscrupulous individuals, and suffer from a diminished sense of self-worth – none of which contributes to living life as a Productive Muslim.

2. What constitutes a happy and healthy heart?

Based on the framework above, a happy and healthy heart is one that is intimately connected to Allah , and always considerate of what will please its Lord , as well as cautious to avoid what would displease Him . This heart is pleased with Allah’s decree – while always striving to improve. This heart is gentle and gracious to those around it and strives to be a true example of the beauty of our deen.

A happy and healthy heart is one which is deliberately cared for by its owner, who understands that their eating habits, lifestyle, stress level and activity all have an influence on its health, effectiveness, and longevity. The owner of a happy and healthy heart places paramount importance on keeping it so.

A happy and healthy heart is also open to love and connection, seeks to actively work through and heal from pain or trauma, strives to be forgiving, and is open to looking at its own role in any problems it experiences. A happy and healthy heart owns the fact that it is capable of directing its emotions towards good, rather than anger, sadness, and destruction. A happy and healthy heart radiates outwards and leaves a lasting beneficial impression upon all who encounter it.

3. That was a beautiful definition. Now, what does the term “fill your cup” that comes in your work mean?

As humans, we do not come with a 24/7 constant infusion of energy, happiness, and spiritual awareness. It would be wonderful if our iman never weakened, our energy never waned, or our bodies never faltered – but this just isn’t the case.

Our overall health and happiness must be consciously and continuously cultivated – or the well will eventually run dry. This is especially true with the rigors of modern life and our many responsibilities. Most people are expending SO much of themselves – but rarely refueling, leading to their “cup” running dry.

So in essence, to fill one’s cup means that you are conscious about “refilling” your cup and refueling yourself in order to thrive.

4. How is this essential for a Productive Muslim?

Filling your cup is absolutely essential for a Productive Muslim. If you are someone who is a high achiever, who strives to maintain balance, efficiency, and productivity in your life and relationships – you MUST refill your cup on a consistent basis, so that you have the energy, creativity, and happiness to fuel your life and work. If not, this leads to burnout, resentment, and depression – far from being a productive member of the Ummah.

5. How could one go about “filling the cup” and ensuring that the heart is healthy and happy?

How one “fills their cup” depends a lot on their unique life situation, their likes and dislikes, their environment, and the responsibilities that they have on their plate.

For example, for a mother of young children, filling her cup may look like hiring a sitter once a week to get out and spend time focusing on her and only her for a bit, which allows her to be more energized and loving when she is back home.

For someone who is creative or loves nature, filling their cup may mean giving themselves regular opportunities to immerse themselves in artistic environments or regularly get away from the hustle and bustle of the city and trek into nature.

For someone who works alone at home, it may mean making a conscious effort to connect with friends or colleagues outside of their work environment to foster human connection, unwind, and share ideas.

The point is for each person to identify what activities, people, surroundings, and things fuel them, and this is one of the most beneficial things I help sisters I work with to discover, as it creates a positive ripple effect in every area of their lives, Alhamdulillah.

6. What are the repercussions of not “filling your cup”?

For something that we often think that we don’t have time, space, or permission to do often (fill our cup), NOT doing so creates a literal cascade of issues and problems in all areas of our life.

If we don’t give ourselves the time and space to recharge from the responsibilities of life, we can become resentful and negative towards the people closest to us. Not because we don’t love them – but because we are overworked and stressed out.

If we exhaust ourselves being the go-to person for every project, organization, and cause – but never set boundaries or slot in time to self-care, our intention can become corrupted and we’ll burn and crash in short order.

If you are too busy, distracted, or uninterested in eating well or maintaining your physical body, you will likely experience health problems sooner rather than later.

If you don’t set non-negotiable time and space to cultivate your spiritual connection and communicate with your Lord, life will be uncertain, painful, and disconnected.

All of this constitutes filling your cup. And my philosophy is that not only should you fill your own cup (shouldn’t wait for others to do it for you), but you must fill your own cup FIRST.

You can’t continue to give what you don’t have – or you will eventually be in a deficit.

7. How can we protect our hearts from depression, anxiety, and spiritual unwholesomeness?

The thing about the heart is that it requires consistent maintenance in order to stay in the best condition. Much like we need to eat well, exercise and avoid taking in impurities in order to keep the heart physically healthy – it’s the same spiritually.

Some means to protect the health of the heart:

From depression: Have good thoughts of your Lord , that He will aid you in your time of sadness and provide the solution to your problems. Understand and believe Him wholeheartedly when He  says:

Narrated Abu Huraira :
The Prophet said, “Allah says: ‘I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.’ ”
[Sahih al-Bukhari]

From anxiety: Anxiety is often based on fear and uncertainty. Cultivating tawakkul (trust/reliance upon Allah ) is a means of soothing the heart, removing fear and doubt, and allowing oneself to move through life unafraid of what potential problems lurk around every corner. By understanding that your fate is in the hands of Allah – and doing your best to remain in His obedience, you are able to maintain a sense of quiet confidence and hope, alhamdulillah. Alternative medicine and natural remedies may help you overcome anxiety and improve your sleep.

From unwholesomeness: This is the most important area, especially in this day and age where corruption and lewdness are present at every turn – characterized as normal and entertaining. For the heart that strives for soundness and purity, it is critical that one guards against what is consumed.

One thing that I speak about often is the need to “guard your heart and mind space”. This means being conscious and vigilant about what you allow to penetrate and take up space in your heart and your mind – which then impacts your iman and overall spiritual condition. This includes carefully curating the environments you are in, the entertainment you consume, the friends you spend time with, the pastimes you enjoy, etc. Are these things fueling spiritual upliftment, or are they corroding your heart, which is the root of all good within you?

8. What productive tips can you give the readers to implement on a daily basis to ensure that their hearts and cups are full so that they may function as the very best Productive Muslims they can be?

1. Morning routine: One of my personal practices – and one that I recommend to clients and students is to set and maintain a morning routine.
   So often we start the day thinking about other people’s agendas, tasks that we have to complete and deadlines that we have to meet. However, before we jump into that, it’s important to have some quiet time in the early morning (I prefer right after fajr) to read Qur’an, do dhikr, relax with some tea, journal, be creative – essentially do something that calms and fuels you for the day ahead.
2. Adhkar: This was alluded to above, but deserves its own category. In the last ten years, the practice that I would say has contributed the most to my productivity, spiritual connection, and overall happiness – is to recite the prescribed adhkar in the morning and evening. This can take some time, as quite a few of them require repetition (some you say 3x, etc), however over time you get into a rhythm and find so much peace and comfort in reflecting on the power and might of Allah as you beseech Him to guide your day. This practice has made such an imprint on my life, that on the rare occasion that I miss reciting my adhkar, I can see and feel the difference in my day. Things just seem off.
3. Nature Therapy: One of the things I’m passionate about is allowing ourselves time to be still, reflect and heal – especially in our hectic society. One of the most healing and soul-filling activities to me personally, is to immerse myself in nature.
   By drinking in the beauty, the freshness, and the perfect order that Allah displays in nature, you can reconnect to your fitrah, allow hurt to melt away and have a clearer mind with which to reflect on any problems you’re experiencing. And most importantly, nature fuels and energizes you so that you can then give to others in your life.
4. Qur’an: When it comes to filling our cup, the most critical advice would be to continually immerse ourselves in the sublime speech and guidance of our Lord . If the heart is the foundation for everything else, then the Qur’an is the medicine and guide for the heart. Whenever we feel stressed or disconnected, there is something within those pages to place things in perspective or provide guidance or hope. The Qur’an is our secret weapon and our greatest gift, alhamdulillah.

May Allah make us of those who strive to maintain sound and healthy hearts, to be used in His service. Allahuma ameen.

What are the habits that you have formed to ensure a healthy and happy heart? What habits or happenings drain your soul? We look forward to your answers in the comments.

The post [Interview] Your Guide to An Effective Transformation of the Mind, Body & Soul appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

In the same way that you hit the gym to get physically fit, you should also strive to get financially fit.

What does “financially fit” even mean?

Swimming through gold coins like Uncle Scrooge, or doing bicep curls with wads of cash? Not quite.

In short, it means having good financial health – a steady income, bills paid, savings – so you are managing your money and not letting it manage you.

If one is not managing his finances efficiently by taking advantage of technology and time-saving tools, he is essentially wasting time that could have been better spent on something else like making more money – another smack to productivity. Having bad finances can affect your productivity, by increasing your anxiety and stress levels, causing sleepless nights, and could lead you to what is forbidden to try and alleviate the situation.

Now, let’s discuss some strategies to get your finances in order, manage your money more productively, and alleviate the stress that money problems can cause:

1. Calculate your tomorrows rather than predicting them

First and foremost, you need to have visibility of what’s coming in and what’s going out. Start by noting your take-home pay, not your pre-tax pay (the amount calculated before the deduction of taxes), and then begin recording all of your expenditures and breaking them out by category. Highlight the non-essential categories (i.e. entertainment) for later review.

2. Track your finances

You can use a spreadsheet to track finances or a free service such as Mint.com that will allow you to link all of your accounts and manage everything from one site; it will even categorize for you. If you don’t want or know how to use a spreadsheet to create a budget, Mint.com has a built-in budgeting tool. Another highly-rated option is YNAB (You Need a Budget). This one is not free, but YNAB does offer a free 34-day trial for new users, or 12 months free for students.

3. Plan and prepare annual and monthly budgets

Plan ahead for expenses by budgeting for them. If you know you have a big expense coming up in the near future, start planning for it now. Don’t just hope that you’ll have enough funds when the time comes or that you’ll “figure something out.” Estimate the cost and calculate how much you should save each month.

Create a budget to use as a guideline for expected spending in various categories (i.e. rent, groceries, car, etc). Periodically compare actual to expected expenses, and make adjustments in spending as needed.

4. Remember to save something, even if it’s a penny a day

As part of your budget, make sure that a portion of your income goes towards savings. This can come in handy for big-ticket items you plan to purchase, but also as an emergency fund in case something unexpected comes up.

5. Stick to the list while shopping

When you go shopping, go with a list and stick to it, as random purchases (like that pair of shoes that caught your eye) can add up throughout the year. An occasional impulse buy isn’t a big deal, but don’t make it a habit. Sticking to a list also improves your shopping efficiency, so you can be in and out like a ninja.

6. Supplement your primary income

Consider supplementing your primary income by launching a side business or by investing in crypto at bitcoinsentralen.no. You can easily buy cryptocurrencies and sell them quickly. Transactions are much easier these days, as there are many reputable trading platforms like immediate connect that will help you come up with sound investment strategies. A side business can be as simple as utilizing your talents and offering your services for a fee. Investing is beyond the scope of this article, but can involve stocks and sukuk (i.e. Islamic bonds), amongst other things. You can visit the golddealer com website to see other types of investment.

7. List your ways to save money

Find ways to save money, either by shopping around or by using coupons or websites like RetailMeNot and Groupon. Additionally, do your research before making big purchases to ensure you are getting the best deal, or wait for sale seasons.

8. Audit your utility bills

Further to the above, perform an audit of your utility bills to see if certain costs are higher than anticipated. Some basic maintenance can help appliances run more efficiently, such as a furnace tune-up or cleaning the lint from your dryer. Switching to CFL or LED bulbs can cut electricity costs. Appliance Hunter has plenty of advice for reducing c02 on their website. Modifying certain habits can help, too, such as turning off the faucet while brushing your teeth or turning off lights when a room is not in use.

9. Make paying off your debts at the soonest your topmost priority

If you happen to have debt, prioritize paying it off. Adjust your budget so as much as reasonably possible goes towards the debt until it’s cleared. Perhaps see if a family member or relative can provide you with an interest-free loan so you can wipe out interest-bearing debt.

Of course, the best option is to avoid debt altogether. As stated in an ahadith by Prophet Muhammad :

“The believer’s soul is suspended by his debt until it is settled for him.” [Jami` at-Tirmidhi]

Likewise, we should seek Allah’s protection against debt. In another hadith, Prophet Muhammad gives us a dua:

“Allaahumma inni a’oodhi bika min al-ma’tham wa’l-maghram (O Allah, I seek refuge with You from sin and heavy debt).”
Someone said to him: “How often you seek refuge from heavy debt!” He said: ‘When a man gets into debt, he speak and tells lies, and he makes a promise and breaks it.'” [Sunan an-Nasa’i]

10. Look for new methods for payments

For recurring bills, set up automatic payments through your bank’s website. This will save you time and hassle, not to mention postage. No more writing checks, stuffing envelopes, and licking glue. Automatic payments will also ensure that you don’t delay paying essential bills. If merchants offer online billing statements, then opt in, as this helps save paper and means less snail mail to sort through.

11. Go for fewer accounts and cards

Where possible, simplify and consolidate. The fewer accounts and cards you have to keep track of, the easier it will be to manage your finances, and the less likely that something falls through the cracks. Review your memberships and consider canceling the ones you don’t use.

Applying these tips will not only help you manage your money more efficiently and leave you with more time for things you enjoy doing but also prevent or relieve money problems that can sap you of the physical and emotional energy needed to perform at your best and most productive. Less stress, and less time spent, over money means that greater attention can be placed on your work, projects, and most importantly, your ‘ibadah.

To learn more about personal finances and investing from an Islamic perspective, check out my book “Open the Door to a Wealthier Life”, available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I hope you have found this article helpful to manage your finances more productively, in sha’ Allah. What are your tips to become financially fit? Share them with us in the comments to benefit others!

The post Get Financially Fit for a More Productive Life – Part 2 appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

Detoxing is the first step to reviving yourself; be it your body, mind or soul. When you stop consuming unhealthy foods, drinks, and drugs, you are detoxifying your body. When you control your thoughts and engage in good deeds, you are detoxifying your mind and soul. Allah says:

He has certainly succeeded who purifies himself [Qur’an: Chapter 87, Verse 14]

Before starting to detox yourself, you must know these 5 facts about detoxing:

1. Your body already detoxifies itself all the time

I’ve seen two things happen here and they are as follows:

The word detox gets a bad impression because of companies and individuals who turn it into this ridiculous extreme notion.

People believe they have to do something special to make their body detoxify itself.

Listen, your body detoxes all on its own. Your liver, kidneys, lungs and your skin are powerhouse examples of organs working to filter and detoxify your body daily.

With that being said, certain things can help these natural processes. Most people have an overload, meaning they have more harmful things coming in than they do going out. This can be due to the environment, daily habits, genetics, lifestyle choices, the increase in chemicals, heavy metals, stress, among other things.

2. Detoxing, it’s not just physical

It’s important to know that it’s not only our physical body that needs detoxing. Our spiritual being and mental being need it even more so.

And [by] the soul and He who proportioned it,
And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness,
He has succeeded who purifies it,
And he has failed who instills it [with corruption]. [Qur’an: Chapter 91, Verses 7 – 10]

We can detoxify mentally and spiritually by setting healthy boundaries, taking breaks, reading the Qur’an and spending time in nature, learning, etc.

3. ‘Small and steady’ can win the race!

Small changes that turn into daily non-negotiables are far more powerful than any short-term extreme method. Here are 3 of my favorite detox superstars:

Yasmin’s Detox Superstar #1: Water

Our bodies are mostly water and need water for a plethora of things. Aim for at least half of your body weight in ounces. If you are more active or have weight loss goals, aim for one ounce for every pound you weigh. Aim to drink no more than 32 ounces at a time, making sure you don’t overtax your kidneys.

Yasmin’s Detox Superstar #2: Lemon

Lemon alkalizes the body’s pH level, improves digestion, and boosts immunity via vitamin C and lime is a good substitute for lemon.

Yasmin’s Detox Superstar #3: Dark Leafy Greens

Dark leafy greens naturally increase our energy levels by alkalizing the body’s pH level and their fiber content improves digestion. Greens also clear congestion by reducing mucus. Varieties include bok choy, cabbage, kale, collards, watercress, mustard greens, broccoli rabe, dandelion, arugula, endive, chicory, lettuce, mesclun and wild greens. Spinach, Swiss chard, and beet greens are best eaten in moderation because they are high in oxalic acid which depletes calcium from bones and teeth. Green powders such as spirulina and wheatgrass are also good but should be seen as a supplement and not substitute.

4. Know yourself and take action accordingly

Here’s a list of common physical and mental problems I see when I work with clients and students. For each ailment follows a minor recommendation and major recommendation. Everyone is unique and we need to be honest with what we are willing to commit to. While major recommendations will yield better results, it’s better to do a minor recommendation daily than a major one every once in a blue moon.

Problem #1: You deal with sinus discomfort and allergies
Minor Recommendation: Eat raw ginger daily
Major Recommendation: Cut out dairy + refined sugar

If you are someone who suffers from allergies or asthma, sinusitis and eczema and is interested in exploring advancements in oral immunotherapy for allergies as a treatment option, then Curex is your best option.

Problem #2: You struggle with digestive issues and discomfort
Minor Recommendation: Take a good probiotic. Eat foods with probiotics like sauerkraut
Major Recommendation: Separate drink + food. Drink liquids 20 mins before/2 hours after eating

Problem #3: You feel sluggish and irritable
Minor Recommendation: Begin your day with lemon water
Major Recommendation: Drink 1 gallon of H2O/day, cut out sugar

Problem #4: You want to cook more but don’t know where to start
Minor Recommendation: Go to the bookstore or library or online and plan out recipes
Major Recommendation: Implement 1 *major* kitchen time saver i.e. cooking and freezing

Problem #5: Your sleep routine needs an upgrade not only to be active all the day but also to get a peaceful sleep
Minor Recommendation: Try chamomile tea and lavender essential oil at night
Major Recommendation: Set a cut off time for electronics, turn off Wifi, turn down lights

Problem #6: Your vegetable game needs an upgrade
Minor Recommendation: Scan your grocery cart for a *variety* greens before check out. If it’s not there, get some before heading to check out!
Major recommendation: Make greens a non-negotiable part of each meal (breakfast included)

Problem #7: You are highly sensitive and get stressed easily
Minor Recommendation: For every stressful/high stimulus thing, do something you enjoy
Major Recommendation: Make a list of stresses and cut something stressful out of your life

Problem #8: You have a lot of different roles and could use some relaxation from the overwhelm
Minor Recommendation: Pull away as needed for a breather, stretching, etc
Major Recommendation Schedule time for yourself. If you’re spontaneous, prioritize it

Problem #9: You need help staying consistent or starting a fitness routine
Minor Recommendation: Commit certain days/times when you’ll workout
Major Recommendation: Get the accountability of a workout buddy, coach, trainer, etc

5. Seek the light of Allah 

There is perhaps nothing we need more than the light of Allah as it detoxes us in more ways than one. If you look for it, you will find it, in sha’ Allah. Spiritually, we should always be seeking the light of Allah . In the Qur’an, Allah tells us:

Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The example of His light is like a niche within which is a lamp, the lamp is within glass, the glass as if it were a pearly [white] star lit from [the oil of] a blessed olive tree, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil would almost glow even if untouched by fire. Light upon light. Allah guides to His light whom He wills. And Allah presents examples for the people, and Allah is Knowing of all things. [Qur’an: Chapter 24, Verse 35]

You can get a free access to the first day of Yasmin’s 7 Day Mind Body Soul Spring Detox! Click here to enroll.

The post 5 Things Every Productive Muslim Needs to Know about Detoxing appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

Author: Nouman Ali Khan

Published: March 2017

Reviewer: Kai Whiting (Leader of Academy Book Club) and Yanti Hasim

Date reviewed: February 2017 (Special Reviewer Edition)

What Is The Book About?

Revive Your Heart: Putting Life in Perspective is one to enjoy digesting and pondering upon, as Khan has used his expertise in the Arabic language to help readers understand the deepest meaning of the Noble Qur’an. This knowledge is also supported with relevant examples and analogies that can be easily understood and enacted in our daily experiences and the situations we face as Muslims and Muslimahs. It really is as if Khan takes the words of Allah and gives the reader sincere advice directly from his heart.

The topics, in this thought-provoking book, are divided into five parts with two or three stories from the Qur’an and Seerah (biography of the Prophet ) in each. They range from personal affairs such as our connection with Allah through dua and how we should never think ill of our fellow Muslims to the professional, such as the importance of being moral and conscience of our behavior in our business dealings and financial earnings.

This book reminds us not just about the temporary nature of this life, but how we should nurture our heart so it’s ready for the Hereafter. It also touches upon the pertinent issues and challenges affecting the Muslim communities such as the issue of leadership, disunity in the Muslim Ummah and the unacceptable attitudes some Muslim communities have towards women and daughters, despite the beautiful teaching of Islam that call us to honor them.

Who Would Benefit from This Book?

We feel that this book is a must read for all Muslims – men and women, community leaders, married and single, young and old, even teenagers! For the Ummah, this book is a wake-up call that asks us all to re-evaluate and question our understanding of our deen and our personal connection to the book of Allah . Through such exploration, this book also guides us and helps us to realign our perspective so that our hearts are called to remember the temporary nature of this present world and to look and work towards jannah as our final destination.

This book is also an excellent resource for people who want to learn the essence and the real message of Islam. We can give it for people as a gift also in order to enlighten and open up the hearts that are waiting for the message and joy of Islam to fill them.

Quotes That Make You Think

So, if I find, and if you find yourself being lazy, then you have to ask whether or not your beliefs in the afterlife are concrete enough.

Contemporary culture asks us to think of death as the ultimate conclusion to what should be a hedonistic existence, while our deen teaches us that death is only the beginning of our true lives.

The real test of leadership is not when your followers are following you; the real test of leadership is when your followers disappoint you.

Our Key Personal Development & Productivity Takeaways

What we like the most about the book is how Khan makes enormous efforts to explain the meaning of important words or verses in the Qur’an so that the reader may actually understand and appreciate the message and beauty of their religion. Nowadays, the ongoing developments in technology and everything around us can easily distract us from our duties and purpose in life. It is as if our physical body is just going through the motions, and our hearts (and rooh (soul)) are dying.

This book reminds us of the moment when someone’s heart stops beating and how we immediately resuscitate him/her with a defibrillator. But where is that sense of urgency when our soul/rooh is dead, or weak? How many of us rush to the words of Allah that will not only bring our heart back to life but also open the door to Paradise?

Revive Your Heart: Putting Life in Perspective will rejuvenate your heart and realign your perspective as long as you are willing to commit to the Qur’an and your deen. You will be discovering novel aspects of this dunya and developing new ways to look at things. What can be more productive than that? It also constantly reminds us that while we dream for jannah, we need to also go through the struggles and hard work needed to earn it…

Call to Action

Enroll in the Academy now to join the ProductiveMuslim Book Club!

Have you placed an order for your copy of Revive Your Heart: Putting Life in Perspective? What are your ways to rejuvenate your heart? Share with us in the comments. Also, please, let us know if this review was helpful.

The post [Book Review] Revive Your Heart: Putting Life in Perspective appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

The Messenger said: “There lies within the body a piece of flesh. If it is sound, the whole body is sound and if it is corrupted, the whole body is corrupted. Verily this piece is the heart.” [Sahih Muslim]

Your heart does not distance itself from Allah overnight. It is a slow process. First, you start becoming lazy with acts of worship, delaying prayer, belittling your sins. Then the pleasures of this life become your main concern and certain sins become a habit that you can’t seem to get rid of, until you start feeling like you don’t really have a purpose in life.

I never want my heart to fall back into that state again, and I never want the connection with my Creator to be strained or cut. Recently, working on my relationship with Allah and establishing certain habits to keep my heart alive have become incredibly important to me. Each one of us has a heart and even though the physical heart plays a critical role in our day-to-day living, the most important nourishment for the heart is arguably the spiritual one.

Therefore, I pray that my words will inspire you -and me- to start working on having a sound heart, insha’Allah.

Here is what we need to consider…

Your relationship with Allah

1. Get to know Allah

The Prophet said: “Allah the Almighty said: I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.” [Sahih Muslim]

I believe that in order to have a heart that is connected to Allah , we need to get to know Him first. How do we expect to build a strong relationship with someone we barely know? Allah gave us multiple ways to do this, one of which is through the Qur’an (I will come back to this later). Another way to get to know Him is by spending time learning and reflecting on His Names which we learn from the Qur’an and Sunnah.

Know that He is Al-Khaliq, The One who created us and anything we may desire; As-Sami’, The One who hears every single one of our supplications; Al-Qadir, The One who is able to do anything, no matter how impossible it might seem to our limited perception. This will help us create our relationship with Allah in a positive framework, and make it a relationship that we gladly work on and invest in. So explore, learn and reflect on the Names of Allah .

2. Firmly hope for His Mercy

Allah is not looking for a reason to punish, reject or push us away. He is there for us when no one else is and is looking for reasons to accept us. His Names teach us that He is Merciful, The Source of love (Al-Wadud) and The Source of peace (As-Salaam). However, we often tend to lose hope as soon as we slip up. I believe many times this can even be the reason for why we start losing our connection with Allah altogether.

Know that we are human and so is our heart, so at some point, it might break, might not work properly or we might feel a certain emptiness inside. From personal experience, I can tell you that it’s essential that we learn to fill this void by being close to Allah instead of trying to fill it with anything else. Be optimistic that Allah will accept your repentance. He  mentions His forgiveness much more often than His punishment in the Qur’an. Every once in a while we all will make a mistake, but it’s vital to immediately catch ourselves and remember Allah . Repentance is a constant process, so it might take a couple of attempts to fully get back on track. But don’t be embarrassed to turn back to Him, no matter the magnitude of the sin, and never lose hope in His infinite mercy.

Physical connection

1. Performing prayer

The Messenger said: “The example of the five (daily) prayers is like that of a clear-water river flowing in front of your houses in which a person washes himself five times a day – cleansing him from all dirt.” [Sahih Muslim]

I was recently blessed with being able to go to umrah. One of the things that stood out to me the most was how the five daily prayers were being prioritized in the two holy cities. When you hear the adhan in Makkah or Medina, the store owners close their shops. A stream of people – young and old, women, children, and men – rush to the mosque to get hold of the best places. Many people are already in the mosque and have been praying, supplicating and reading the Qur’an for hours before. You see people performing wudu’, not rushing through it, but taking their time while doing so. People prioritize praying in the mosque and praying on time. They are ready for prayer way before the adhan can be heard. Even outside of the prayers, I noticed that people structured their day around them and not the other way around. When scheduling to meet up with someone, I often heard phrases like “Let’s meet between dhuhr and asr” or “Let’s meet after maghrib” instead of “Let’s meet at 5 pm”.

But it’s not just about praying on time. What is even more important in my opinion is the quality of our prayers. When it comes to our heart, there is nothing more crucial than our prayer. It will be the first thing we will be asked about by Allah and if our prayers were good, then everything else will be good, insha’Allah. [Jami’ at-Tirmidhī]. By implication, this means that the quality of your prayer is a way to check yourself and the state of your faith and heart. It’s our way to call on Him five times a day, to keep our relationship with Him alive and our hearts connected to Him. We have to fix the quality of our prayer if we want to fix our hearts. If we don’t have that consistency, that food for the soul, our hearts will automatically be affected.

The five daily prayers can be seen as a constant refresher of our faith. It revives us spiritually if we engage in our prayers consciously, and not just treat them like a cardiovascular activity. An issue for many of us is that we are not fluent in the Arabic language, so we might feel disconnected in prayer because we don’t understand what we are reciting. It’s then up to us to be proactive and find ways to get something out of the prayer by reviewing, for example, a few of the verses you have recited, understanding their meaning…etc.

2. Reading and pondering over the Qur’an

“Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah . Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah  hearts are assured.” [Qur’an: Chapter 13, Verse 28]

I’m sure we have all been in the situation where we attend a lecture or an Islamic event, and go back home feeling a spiritual high rushing through us. But then, after a week or so, we feel a dip in our faith again. Imagine this scenario: if you were to advise a friend who wanted to get in shape, would you tell them to work out for three hours straight, and this would be enough for the rest of the year? If only it were that easy! Just like a few hours of physical exercise every couple of months won’t do anything for our bodies, remembering Allah once a week or once a month won’t do much for our spiritual hearts. In order to be consistent with the remembrance of Allah , we have the above-mentioned five daily prayers, but we have also been given the Qur’an, which is not just meant to sit on our shelves but was sent down to be read, lived and engaged with on a daily basis. Allah tells us in the Qur’an that our hearts find ultimate peace and tranquility in the remembrance of Him. Since the Qur’an is said to be the best form of remembrance, it’s an essential component to keeping our hearts steadfast. But how many of us really make an effort to understand His book? How much time do we really spend with it on a regular basis?

I personally believe that reading the Qur’an, even if we might not understand or remember everything, is a means to purify our hearts and bring about change inside of us. But in order to really feel the effect of His words on us, we have to be willing to go deeper in order to reap the tremendous benefits of their meaning. I once heard an analogy that I would like to share with you: imagine you receive a letter from a king, a president, or anyone else in a high position. Even if it was written in a language that you didn’t understand, you would get it translated because you would be dying to know what it says. The Qur’an can be seen as a letter to mankind and it’s not a letter from just anyone! It’s a message from the Lord of the worlds Himself. It’s one of the most fulfilling experiences to establish a relationship with the Qur’an and extract gems on how to enrich your own personal life and enlighten your heart. All you have to do is commit to and set aside a certain time in the day where you can sit down, read, and ponder over the Qur’an, even if it’s just one verse a day. One of the recommended times is right after fajr prayer as it’s a time of blessings, but I would say the most important thing is that you find a time that works best for you and that you are able to stick to consistently.

Your relationship with others and yourself

1. Surround yourself with people that remind you of Allah

The Messenger said: “The likeness of a righteous friend and an evil friend, is the likeness of a (musk) perfume seller and a blacksmith. As for the perfume seller, he may either bestow something on you, or you may purchase something from him, or you may benefit from his sweet smell. And as for the blacksmith, he may either burn your clothes, or you may be exposed to his awful smell.” [Sahih al-Bukhari]

Even if you strive to better yourself and purify your heart, it will prove to be very difficult if your company isn’t good. Just as some people can impact you positively, others can literally poison your heart. Therefore, quality is so much more important than quantity when it comes to the friends you choose to surround yourself with. It’s completely normal for us to go through phases where our faith goes up and down, but if we keep good company and don’t isolate ourselves, we can prevent our faith from plummeting to the ground. Choose to be around people who bring you closer to righteousness, people who remind you of Allah and encourage you to do good deeds, the ones who support you and believe in you in the good times, as well as the bad times.

Go to, or organize, weekly gatherings where you come together with fellow Muslim friends and discuss things that you are dealing with at the moment. Read His Book together, reflect on His words, pray together, eat together, and simply come together for His sake. You might see something in a way that the person sitting next to you might not see and vice versa, so you can benefit from each other’s differing perspectives. Angels surround gatherings where Allah is remembered, so imagine how blessed a weekly get-together would be. You will feel an immediate effect on your heart and spiritual self, insha’Allah.

2. Pause and assess yourself

Frequently assess the state of your heart and think about the way you affect others. Does your character and the way you speak to and treat others, bring them closer to Allah , or does it drive them away? I believe that a fundamental aspect of purifying one’s heart starts with working on one’s character and developing fundamental etiquette. When you’re going through a tough time in your life, go out and help somebody deal with their problem. This way, you’ll be able to shift your focus from ‘I’ to a more positive and comprehensive one and will be able to put your own matters into perspective.

We can all do our part in making the world a little better for someone. It might not impact on everyone, but if it can have an impact on even one life, on one heart, then there is still value in it and it still makes a difference. You will realize that what you do for others will not just have an effect on them, but will also soften your own heart. When we look at the Prophet and his companions, we can see that they never let a person feel as though they were alone or as though they had to get through trials by themselves. They didn’t look a person up and down and judge them. Be a real friend to people and someone who they can come and speak to. Think about how you being Muslim is not only a benefit to you, but also a benefit to those around you.

I hope that this article has inspired you to feed and nourish your heart and has provided you with practical advice on how to do exactly that. The state of your heart will determine how you perceive the world around you. Just like how we take care of our minds and bodies, we have to take care of our hearts. Take time out to reflect on certain things going on inside of you that need to be remedied and healed. Nothing of the dunya will be able to give you what a content heart, a heart connected to its Creator, can give you.

What are your tips to have a sound heart connected to Allah ? Share with us in the comments section.

The post How to Have a Heart Connected to Allah [swt] appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.