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Over the past few months, we’ve learnt about so many ways of bringing barakah into our lives. From our parents, siblings, commute, daily adhkar and even in the workplace! But there’s one other major source of barakah we still need to explore: The Qur’an!

I’d like you to read the following ayah, but make sure that you also read the Arabic, even it takes a bit of time. Allah says:

“And this is a Book which We have sent down, blessed and confirming what was before it, that you may warn the Mother of Cities and those around it. Those who believe in the Hereafter believe in it, and they are maintaining their prayers.” [Qur’an: Chapter 6, Verse 92]

In the short space of time that it took you to read that, you gained ten hasanat per letter; Rasul Allah said,

“[Whoever recites a letter] from Allah’s Book, then he receives the reward from it, and the reward of ten the like of it. I do not say that Alif Lam Mim is a letter, but Alif is a letter, Lam is a letter and Mim is a letter.” [Jami’ at-Tirmidhi]

There were 104 letters in that ayah. So you just got 1040 hasanat, and if you’re someone who struggles to read Arabic, you just got double that, as the Prophet Muhammad said,

“He who finds it hard (to recite the Qur’an) will have a double reward.”[Sahih Muslim]

Do you see the amount of barakah in just one ayah of the Qur’an?

But I want you to be honest with yourself and ask yourself: do you give the Qur’an the time that it is owed, to read and reflect upon it? Or do you find yourself consumed by this life, always busy, always having deadlines, so that you find it hard to make time for the Qur’an? Perhaps what we need is a reminder of what a great fountain of barakah the Qur’an is.

Barakah in the Dunya

The Qur’an in dunya is barakah as it is a miracle in itself. It is a great source of peace and a means to get closer to Allah .The Qur’an provides healing for the soul as Allah said:

“We have not sent down to you the Qur’an that you be distressed” [Qur’an: Chapter 20, Verse 2]

If you have a strong connection and a consistent relationship with the Qur’an, then no matter what befalls you in this dunya, you will not feel distress in your soul as the Qur’an will bring you tranquility. The Qur’an also makes us from amongst the best of people as the Prophet Muhammad said,

“The best among you (Muslims) are those who learn the Qur’an and teach it.” [Sahih Al Bukhari]

So, find a way to incorporate reading and understanding the Qur’an in your daily life, especially in the early hours of the morning.

Barakah in the Akhirah

The Messenger of Allah said,

“Recite the Qur’an, for on the Day of Resurrection it will come as an intercessor for those who recite It. Recite the two bright ones, Surah al-Baqara and Surah Al ‘Imran, for on the Day of Resurrection they will come as two clouds or two shades, or two flocks of birds in ranks, pleading for those who recite them. Recite Surah al-Baqara, for to take recourse to it is a blessing and to give it up is a cause of grief, and the magicians cannot confront it.” [Sahih Muslim]

Do you see how the Qur’an never leaves you, in both this world and the hereafter? Constant recitation and memorization of the Qur’an elevates a person in Jannah. The Qur’an will come to your aid and intercede for you!

Even with all this barakah, it can be difficult to allocate time for the Qur’an so here is some advice on how to keep your relationship with the Qur’an. (Remember to read each ayah fully and make sure you read the Arabic of each ayah by clicking the link!)

1. Recite the Qur’an at Fajr

During the day you have so many errands to run, so many things on your mind, so many tasks to tick off your to-do list, but at Fajr time, there is a feeling of peacefulness and quiet before the rush of the day begins. You’ve made the effort to wake up when everyone else is asleep, to worship your Lord. Adding just five minutes of Qur’an recitation after Fajr salah is nothing short of a fruitful investment. Those mere five minutes will set you up for a positive and productive day ahead as you have nurtured your relationship with Allah . Allah says:

“Establish prayer at the decline of the sun [from its meridian] until the darkness of the night and [also] the Qur’an of dawn. Indeed, the recitation of dawn is ever witnessed.” [Qur’an: Chapter 17, Verse 78]

All the errands you run during the day will benefit you short-term, in the dunya, so we must make sure that we are securing our aakhirah too. The things that take you away from the Qur’an will not help you when you meet Allah . A mere five minutes of Qur’an at fajr time will give you more benefit than you can imagine. Soon, these five minutes become a regular part of your morning, and you will feel incomplete if you miss it one day.

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2. Reflect on the surahs you are reciting

How many of us do not go past the last ten surahs when we pray? We’re accustomed to alternating between Surahs Al-Falaq, An-Nas, Al-Ikhlas and Al-Kawthar, without really knowing the depth of the meaning, only taking advantage of their length. Now, to try and remedy this, we need to go back and think, why was salah made obligatory in the first place?

One of the answers to this is that salah is our connection to Allah and to the Qur’an, five times where we leave the dunya to worship Allah and remind ourselves Who is in charge. If you stick with the same surahs in every salah, your salah loses its soul. Instead, it becomes a mindless ritual, like eating or sleeping.

However, when you make salah a conscious act by pushing yourself to read new and longer surahs, your focus increases, and you will begin to feel like you are truly conversing with Allah . Remember, Allah doesn’t need our prayers, but we need Him – being mindful and present in our salah ensures that we reap maximum benefit from it. Allah says,

“Recite, [O Muhammad], what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer. Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do.” [Qur’an: Chapter 29, Verse 45]

If you are praying five times a day and still feel disconnected from Allah , and continue to feel drawn to immoral deeds, you should definitely look to the quality of your prayer, especially your recitations. To have a meaningful conversation with Allah , try reciting other surahs past the last ten. This will also push you to begin more memorisation. Additionally, go back and reflect on the shorter surahs by reading their tafsir, so you can truly appreciate them and their meaning the next time you recite them in prayer, rather than rushing through them.

3. Always be in the presence of the Qur’an

I want you to ask yourself, how many hours do you spend listening to music, to the radio or watching tv in a week? Now compare that to how long you spend a week listening to Qur’an.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Who remember Allah while standing or sitting or [lying] on their sides and give thought to the creation of the heavens and the earth, [saying], “Our Lord, You did not create this aimlessly; exalted are You [above such a thing]; then protect us from the punishment of the Fire.” [Qur’an: Chapter 3, Verse 191]

Alhamdulilah we live in a world where he have so many options to keep the Qur’an around us, that we no longer have an excuse! Play it in the car, in your earphones, whilst you’re cleaning, whilst you are cooking, whilst your are travelling etc. Play different recitations and discover new reciters. Additionally, there are so many free podcasts and YouTube videos available for us to listen to tafsir of the Qur’an. The more you listen to Qur’an, the more you will remember and the more you heart will love it.

4. Never underestimate the timelessness of the Qur’an

The Qur’an, no matter how much you read it, or how many times you have read it, will never run out of wisdom. It is Al Qur’an Al Hakeem. The Qur’an is where you will find solutions to your problems, and where you will find strength to and motivation to strive in the way of Allah , as He says;

“This is the Book about which there is no doubt, a guidance for those conscious of Allah.” [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 2]

This Qur’an is a blueprint for life, that guides us to live our lives in the best way. It is not a book that is only for the past and it is not a book that does not relate to us today. Come to the Qur’an with sincere intentions, and you will find peace and contentment. Only through reflecting and pondering on the ayahs of the Qur’an, will you be able to truly embody it into your daily life.

By the way, if you did what I asked at the beginning, and read every ayah that was in the article, that equals 3040 hasanat. If you had any difficulty reading, then you got 6080 hasanat! Look at the amount of barakah you gained in the space of a few minutes! Share this article with your friends and family to help them attain easy rewards, and if you have any other tips for getting barakah from the Qur’an, share them in the comments section below!

Download our 21 Sources of Barakah Resource Sheet + Infographic!

The post ​How to Get Maximum Barakah from the Qur’an appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

When Ibrahim was going to sacrifice his son, Shaytan came to him in the form of a man to try and distract him and encourage him to disobey Allah , so Ibrahim pelted stones at him. In part 1 we looked at different sacrifices that we could make to become closer to Allah , but what about when Shaytan comes to us to distract us? How can we pelt the Shaytan out of our lives? Here are 7 productive habits that we can use as our stones against Shaytan.

Keep your salah on time

This is the first stone you need to throw at Shaytan, as he knows that if you leave your salah, you will be drowning in sins, and your heart will become hard. Salah is a believer’s way of keeping away from sin as Allah says

“ Recite, [O Muhammad], what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer. Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do.” [Qur’an: Chapter 29, Verse 45]

But this happens when we are praying with sincerity and humility, otherwise it becomes just a physical ritual. One of the biggest deceptions that shaytan causes us to believe is that you can’t pray when you are committing sin. Salah is not dependent on your sins, and Allah has never said a person should not pray because they did something wrong.

Our beloved prophet narrated “By Allah, Allah is more pleased with the repentance of His servant than what one of you would do on finding the lost camel in the waterless desert. When he draws near Me by the span of his hand. I draw near him by the length of a cubit and when he draws near Me by the length of a cubit. I draw near him by the length of a fathom and when he draws near Me walking I draw close to him hurriedly.” [Muslim]

Take this step to establish your constant connection with Allah . Work on establishing your salah and take the first step to pelting the Shaytan.

Stay among righteous company

It is hard striving to practice especially on your own, especially today where we have this notion of trying to fit in, and we have a lot of pressure growing up not to stand out. And so the second way to pelt the Shaytan is by choosing righteous company.

Choose the company that encourages you to get closer to Allah, that reminds you to pray when you forget, that helps you to learn more about your Creator instead of idle gossip. Choose the kind of company that encourages you to keep away from what displeases Allah . Choose the kind of company that invites angels to stay with you.

“No people sit in a gathering remembering Allah, But the angels surround them, mercy covers them, tranquillity descends upon them and Allah remembers them before those who are with Him.” [Ibn Majah]

Repent to Allah frequently

With this third action, let us stone Shaytan to dust, and build an emotional connection with Allah , by making sincere tawbah.

“…Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant…” [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 222]

As long as you are alive, you can make tawbah, do not let Shaytan deceive you into thinking that any sin is too big for Allah to forgive. For every moment that you are in a state of tawbah repenting for your sins, Allah loves you. Think about how beautiful that is, that Allah loves the servant who turns to Him in repentance.

Humble yourself before Allah and tell Him your worries and your fears. Thank Him for giving you this opportunity to draw closer to Him, and let your soul be filled with ease and contentment.

Change what you feed your mind

The one who is knowledgeable, Shaytan’s hold over them is weak.

Sometimes when people make an attempt to get closer to Allah , they find that they struggle, and they don’t feel like they are changing. That is because they are still feeding their mind and soul idle useless material. If you are still mentally consuming material that distracts you from Allah – whether this is in the form of inappropriate TV series, music, books or anything like that-, then you leave a door open for Shaytan to come and distract.

Feed your mind with knowledge and learn about your Creator and the beloved prophets because Allah says “…Only those fear Allah , from among His servants, who have knowledge. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Forgiving.” [Qur’an: Chapter 35, Verse 28]. Start making an attempt to at least reduce -if not cut out- the material that takes you away from the remembrance of your Creator.

Incorporate sunnah into your life

We’re on the 5th stone now, so let us try to incorporate more sunnah into our life by starting off with 2 simple things, siyam (fasting) and nawafil (voluntary prayers).

Let us train ourselves to fast at least 3 days a month and incorporate at least 2 raka’as of sunnah prayers into our day. Why do I say this? Fasting is one of the best methods to get closer to Allah as you become conscious of every action that you make during the day to ensure that your fast is accepted.

By incorporating sunnah prayers into your day, you go above and beyond doing what is obligatory and you make an attempt to show your love for Allah by doing something you do not have to do except for the sake of His closeness.

If you want to start with an even smaller act, then start off by moistening your tongue with remembrance and glorification of Allah and let the reward of these light words weigh heavy on your scales.

Strengthen ties of kinship

How sad would it be that after throwing 5 stones at the Shaytan, you find the 6th stone too heavy? In part 1, we discussed sacrificing our ego and pride to restore ties and kinship and again we will reiterate this because it is a very easy way for Shaytan to cause fitnah (disagreements) in families.

The Prophet said “The person who perfectly maintains the ties of kinship is not the one who does it because he gets recompensed by his relatives (for being kind and good to them), but the one who truly maintains the bonds of kinship is the one who persists in doing so even though the latter has severed the ties of kinship with him.” [Bukhari]

Connect with the one who has cut you off. Let go of any ill feelings in your heart and restore any ties of kinship in your family that have been severed. Do this for the sake of Allah and I promise you will be rewarded more than you can ever imagine. Let go of the hurt and pain that your family has caused you and forgive. Let your heart be soft with the remembrance of Allah so that you are able to make these sacrifices.

Our family ties are an immense opportunity to gain reward and become closer to Allah .

Remember death often

This is the last stone that we will throw at the Shaytan and possibly one of the most important stones. None of us know when we will die, and so we must make use of every minute that we have. When you remember death, all of the time, it allows all of the above stones to be thrown easily as it allows you to fight your nafs and do what you know will please Allah .

When Shaytan comes to you and tries to encourage you to do what displeases Allah think to yourself that if you were to die at that moment, how would you justify your actions to Allah ? Would you truly have an acceptable justification for missing your salah, or cutting off family ties, or not spending in the way of Allah ?

If you pelt Shaytan in these 7 ways, then the 4 sacrifices that we discussed in part 1 will become so much easier. These 7 ways of pelting the Shaytan will only bring you closer to Allah and increase your love for Him. And of course when you love Allah , pleasing Him becomes the best way of life to have.

Stay tuned for part 3 of this series where we will discuss how to stay motivated and empowered to do the aforementioned actions.

Now, let us here from you: what other stones you think we can use to pelt Shaytan out of our lives?

The post ​[Hajj Season Inspiration- Part 2] 7 Ways to Stone Shaytan Out of Your Life appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

Hajj is a very special time for us; the amount of reward available is immense, and it is truly an opportunity to seek forgiveness and become closer to Allah . But what practical ways are there of doing this? The best way to find out is to look at the life of Prophet Ibrahim . One of the greatest lessons we can take from his life is that of sacrifice.

When Ibrahim was asked to sacrifice his son Ismail it was truly a test for him to see who was dearer to him. So what sacrifices are we making to become closer to Allah ?

The reward of sacrifice

Ibrahim was asked to sacrifice what was dearest to him: his son. Can you imagine something more precious to you than your children? In return, Allah rewarded him with more than he could have ever expected. In fact, to this day, we are still witnessing the reward of Ibrahim :

“And [mention] when Abraham said, “My Lord, make this a secure city and provide its people with fruits – whoever of them believes in Allah and the Last Day.” [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 126]

Think about Makkah. It is still benefiting from the dua of Ibrahim , and its reward never ends. Think about another dua that Ibrahim made when he said:

“Our Lord, and make us Muslims [in submission] to You and from our descendants a Muslim nation [in submission] to You. And show us our rites and accept our repentance. Indeed, You are the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful.” [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 128]

Allah made Ibrahim’s son a prophet. What greater honour could there be? Imagine the reward we can gain from sacrificing for Allah .

Dhul Hijjah – your starting point

The days of Dhul Hijjah are the perfect days to do so as the Prophet Muhammad said:

“There are no days in which righteous deeds are more beloved to Allah than these ten days.” The people asked , “Not even Jihad for the sake of Allah?” He said, “Not even Jihad for the sake of Allah, except in the case of a man who went out, giving himself and his wealth up for the cause (of Allah), and came back with nothing.” [Sahih Bukhari]

If you feel like you had an iman- high during Ramadan that has slowly dwindled, use these ten blessed days to rekindle the sweetness of iman you felt during that time. The blessings and rewards during these days are comparable to the days of Ramadan, so go back to the actions you did during the fasting month: fast, read Qur’an and give charity in abundance.

Sacrifice your time for Ibadah

Are you guilty of saying any of the following?

“Oh my god, I was so hooked, I finished 3 seasons in one week!”

“I reached level 25 yesterday without using any cheat codes, I stayed up all night!”

“I told myself I would sleep early, but instead I ended up scrolling through memes and facebook and chatting on whatsapp.”

We’re all guilty of indulging in activities that consume so much of our time, so why don’t we sacrifice these distractions? Prophet Muhammad said:

“There are two blessings which many people lose: (they are) health and free time for doing good.” [Sahih Bukhari].

So let us take out time to get closer to Allah while we are healthy. Think about how much time we give for leisure – what if we gave that time to Allah ?

When we can’t sleep, why don’t we spend this time doing adhkar gaining reward or getting out of bed and doing qiyam? When we think about starting a new TV series, look into starting a tafsir series on YouTube, or reading something beneficial. The time that we spend gaming, why don’t we use that time for personal and professional development like learning a new language or doing volunteer work for the community?

Sacrifice your time to rid yourself of bad habits and pick up new ones. Develop your skills, increase your knowledge, and gain closeness and taqwa of Allah . The time that you sacrifice doing this will have an imediate impact on your character and connection with Allah .

Sacrifice your wealth for charity

Sometimes it is hard trying to find money to give as sadaqah – after rent, bills, food and all other expenses, we might feel reluctant to give for extra charity. First of all, we need to remember that money given for voluntary charity is highly rewarded and nothing you give is lost. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Who is it that would loan Allah a goodly loan so He may multiply it for him many times over? And it is Allah who withholds and grants abundance, and to Him you will be returned.” [Qur’an: Chapter 2, Verse 245]

The best way to incorporate regular alms-giving in your life is to find something in your life that you spend money on, something that is a hobby or a luxury you allow yourself and calculate how much you spend on it a month.

How many times a month do you go out for lunch or dinner? How many times do you buy coffee in a month? How much money do you spend on clothes per month?

Calculate all that spending, and sacrifice just half of it for charity. If you buy lunch every day, spend extra time making lunch at home and save that money for charity. Skip the coffee for one day and save these coins for sadaqah. Instead of eating out this week, recreate the meal at home for a fraction of the price and save the extra money to give to a project you feel passionate about. By sacrificing these little luxuries a few times a month, you are physically showing that charity is dearer to you.

You may feel that these small amounts are insignificant, but if we all, as an Ummah, start doing this, what is seemingly insignificant can have a really positive impact on the lives of many people in need.

Sacrifice your pride for family ties

I will be the first to say that this is not always easy, as some family problems can be severe and can be ongoing for years, but when you realise that relations with your family are tied to Allah , this will make you think twice about whether you wish to continue to sever them.

Aisha reported Prophet Muhammad to have said, “The ties of kinship is suspended to the Throne and says: ‘He who unites me Allah would unite him and he who severed me Allah would sever him.'” [Sahih Muslim]

Allah linked the ties of kinship to His throne, so whoever cuts off his kinship, cuts off his link to Allah . Once you are aware of this then ask yourslef how much do you want to please Allah ? Sacrificing your pride and ego is a necessity in these situations and indeed it can be very difficult but remember that our beloved prophet said:

“Whoever gives up argument when he is in the right, a palace will be built for him in the middle (of Paradise).” [Ibn Majah]

This week I want everyone reading this to do something, sacrifice just five minutes of your time and contact a family member who you have difficulty with. Connect with them, ask them how their day was and ask them to forgive you for any wrongdoing. Even if you are the one has been wronged, make this action a humble sacrifice for the sake of Allah .

A saying that we have back home is “words don’t cost money”. Do not allow your pride to make kind words difficult for you to say, and I guarantee that those kind words will weigh heavy on your scales when we meet our Creator.

Sacrifice your desires for your inner light

One of the greatest sacrifices that we have to make are giving up our desires. This can be in the form of relationships, earning haram income or watching things that we aren’t supposed to watch. If you have a desire that takes you away from what pleases Allah then now is the time to sacrifice it to seek the forgiveness of Allah .

Giving up something we love is difficult, and it can be especially hard when it takes us away from Allah , because our hearts become hard, and what we would once consider something we would never do becomes easy. What takes us away from Allah becomes attractive to us.

“But their hearts became hardened, and Satan made attractive to them that which they were doing.” [Qur’an: Chapter 6, Verse 43]

This is really the perfect time for us to soften our hearts and give up whatever is not bringing us closer to Allah because I promise that whatever you give up for the sake of Allah , you will be rewarded with more than you could ever imagine.

Indeed this is easier said than done, and will be difficult, but remember, the greater the sacrifice, the greater the reward.

During the last few days of Dhul Hijjah, make the intention to implement all of these sacrifices in your life, just as Prophet Ibrahim was ready to sacrifice his son for Allah . Once this becomes a habit, watch how the barakah of Allah will enter your life and make you more productive!

So, what are you going to sacrifice for the sake of Allah this year? Let us know in the comments below!

P.S: If you don’t think making sacrifices is any easy task, stay tuned to Part 2 of this series for more tips!

The post [Hajj Season Inspiration – Part 1] 4 Ways You Can Sacrifice for More Spiritual Productivity appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

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When your parents are happy with you, doesn’t everything in your life just go smoothly? Maybe it’s because your mother is constantly making dua for you, or because your father has told you that he’s proud of you. The barakah associated with having pleased parents is amazing. But sometimes maintaining this source of barakah seems impossible.

Sometimes it is difficult to maintain a smooth relationship with your parents. You can justify and explain why this is the case, but at the end, the barakah gained from having happy parents is worth fighting for.

So, I’m going to share with you a few tips on how to achieve that.

Realise who your parents are

Allah has enjoined obeying parents right after He has enjoined worshiping Him.

“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment.” [Qur’an: Surah 17, Verse 23]

Obeying parents is an act of obeying Allah . In order for us to really understand how we should treat our parents, we must firstly embed into our mind that Allah has given a high rank to parents. We are not on a level to judge our parents, even though yes, sometimes our parents may have shortcomings. But, as a believer, you cannot contest the rank Allah has given them.

When it gets difficult, we must remind ourselves that ultimately we want to please Allah first. Allah has said you can only disobey your parents when they ask you for something sinful like disbelief in Him or disobeying Him, and even then you must still treat them with kindness.

“But if they endeavour to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.” [Qur’an: Chapter 31, Verse 15]

However this in itself is not easy. We must acknowledge that some parents do not have adequate knowledge of the deen. There are families that mix bad cultural habits with Islam, and this can cause arguments in the home between children who want to follow religion properly and parents who cannot let go of bad cultural habits.

But what you must never forget is that parents have a special love in their hearts that does not allow them to harm their children. As long as they are of sound mind, true parents do not wish to cause harm to their children.

Sometimes we misunderstand harm and in this day and age, we see things like curfews or opinions about our friends as our parents not caring about how we feel. That is why it is very important that you do not confuse rules with lack of love from your parents and so end up being angry at them and losing their barakah.

Be present and have patience

Patience is key in everyday life and in calamities, but is crucial with your parents. Allah has told us to treat our parents with Ihsan which means to treat our parents with excellence in every aspect. Excellence in patience, in kindness, going the extra mile for them, even if your parents are not Muslim. Every difficult situation should be perceived as a test for us, and we should be thankful everyday that we have the deen to guide us and keep us steadfast.

However, here is where people get confused.

Being patient does not mean ignoring them or isolating yourself from them because you find them difficult to be around. Everyone knows the ayah where Allah told us not to say uff to our parents:

“…say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” [Qur’an: Chapter 17, Verse 23]

However what people don’t realise is what this ayah implies. In order to be told not to say uff, there has to be conversation going on between you and your parents, not silence. Therefore hiding in your room because you don’t want to be around your parents is not the equivalent of being patient.

Many of us have this idea of “my parents are wrong, I deserve to be treated better, they come from back home and have a backward mentality.” This only worsens the situation. Be diplomatic and avoid arguing. Answering back doesn’t work because it ends up being a vicious cycle; trying to prove each other wrong, and then blaming each other.

These are your parents who were mentioned by Allah in the Qur’an. Do you think Allah doesn’t know that there would be good and bad parents? Allah knows your struggle and knows the effort you are putting to be patient and that is why He told us to strive for Ihsan. Is it not worth it for the beautiful dua that your parents make for you?

We must visualize how much our parents must be respected, and strive for excellence in treating them. Do you think your parents won’t change when they see this kindness? They undoubtedly will and I say this because I went through the same thing.  

I want to ask you something.

Think of a friend you have who is going through something difficult and as a result he/she took out their anger on you? Do you stay by their side because you love them or not? Sometimes we don’t do that with our parents.

Think about the time you spend helping others, I want you to ask yourself: do you give even a fraction of that to your parents?

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Always try to respond with kindness

I told you that I struggled with my parents and so what me and my sisters did is that we would always go the extra mile to make my mother happy. I was very cautious not to make my mother angry by showing her the beauty of akhlaq (manners) n Islam. I would cook and clean before she woke up to please her. If I were asked to bring some cake, I would brew some tea with it.

As busy as you think you are, remember that your parents are the source of your creation and when you please your parents there is only reward in that, even if it is through mundane activities like housework. Basically it is always a win-win situation. Your parents are happy, and Allah is happy.

In Islam we do not have this notion of treating others the way they treat us. If we are treated kindly, we respond with kindness, and if we are treated badly, we bear it with patience and we respond with kindness. From experience I promise you that with time, your parents will change because all of these kind actions are for the sake of Allah .

When pleasing our parents sometimes our patience run out because ‘they bother us, they don’t understand us’, and so you feel like what you can endure is limited. But when your intention is to please Allah , then your motivation is more durable. You do more because you want to please Allah , and so the nafs that feels arrogant gets shunned on the side.

When you feel like answering back your parents, remember that Allah has forbidden us from even saying uff. If just sighing out of frustration is a sin, then imagine any words on top of that.

When you feel like motivation is running low, always turn to Allah and remember what He said about His servants:

“When he draws near Me by the span of his hand. I draw near him by the length of a cubit and when he draws near Me by the length of a cubit. I draw near him by the length of a fathom and when he draws near Me walking I draw close to him hurriedly.” [Muslim]

Have no doubt, this is divine justice and this is Allah ’s promise.

Do not share your problems with others

Allah the All Wise has ordained these parents for you, and so you should not go and speak to others about being ungrateful to them. It is sinful  to expose the flaws of a muslim, let alone your own parents.

Furthermore, imagine your relationship becomes better, in fact it becomes better than ever, but your friends will remain thinking badly about your parents because of the way you have spoken about them.

When your parents upset you or make you angry, remember what they have done for you before. They brought you into this world, clothed you, fed you, spent on you, raised you and looked after you. Given all of this, are you really going to let Satan tell you that your parents are bad?

No parents are perfect and we are all prone to mistakes, but I promise, the barakah gained from having happy parents is like no other. Remember that if we could have chosen our parents we obviously would have chosen the best, but Allah wants to test us, so that we can be rewarded. If your parents are difficult then realise that you are not alone. Their mindset will not change overnight, but through your patience and kind actions, Allah will help you soften their hearts and make the way to Jannah much easier.

I ask Allah to bless all of our parents and to soften their hearts and help anyone who is having a difficult relationship with them. May Allah grant you ease.

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