Everything is almost always available. For those of us living in the industrialized world, our homes are a stone’s throw from major retailers, where goods of all season are almost always available. And for those who do not back up to shopping malls, the Internet malls are merely a click away. I recall the Internet boom in a major urban center in the mid-1990s when we could get nearly anything delivered, day or night. But, I also recall resisting such immediate consumption.

What about growing your own cherry tomatoes? And what about the joy of nurturing them, from start to delectable (small) finish, and then sharing the harvest? As ‘convenience’ and ‘choice’ become the hallmarks of our era, is it not time to reflect on what we may be giving up by our own consumptive patterns? How may we integrate different practices, for our own mental and physical well-being and ultimately the well-being of our planet, not to mention our own spiritual growth? What about reconsidering embedded notions of productivity (e.g. units processed per minute) and imagine instead our productivity as a function of how connected we are to our Creator , all while keeping our feet firmly rooted in the ground? Gardening has real power here, and the following tips will, In sha Allah, inspire you to grow your own greens.

1. Everyone Has a Green Thumb

I have long heard, ‘I don’t have a green thumb’ and ‘I can’t garden.’ You may not (yet) like the soil or you may not like the sun, but everyone has the potential to be a gardener – everyone, even if you are apartment-bound, without a plot to call your own. If something has not yet grown successfully under your watch, do not blame it on your ‘thumb’. Instead, consider gaining more knowledge and experience. In our city, the public libraries ran free tutorials all spring, same for major home improvement retail chains, and of course the local nurseries. Internet sites abound, and there is wonderful inspiration in the likes of Ron Finley’s ‘Gangster Gardener’ approach as well.

In sum, the knowledge is there, but we have to take the first step. We have to be open to re-envisioning our thumbs and our whole beings, for that matter, as we seek to tap a new, earth-bound sense of productivity, in which we are connected to Allah ’s creation in a tangible and constructive way. If you are lacking in inspiration, it may be enough simply to open the Qur’an and review any of the magnificent passages describing the growth which Allah has gifted us in this world [Qur’an: Chapter 55, Verses 11-12] as well as that which is promised in the next [Chapter: 55, Verses 48-52]. The Qur’an is replete with such references, and getting into our own gardens is a wonderful reminder of these blessings.

2. Start Small and Be Realistic

A cherry tomato is small, but even that was overly ambitious for us when we started. In fact, it took us four tries before we got it right (and even then several birds beat us to it). If you are new to the field of gardening, I recommend starting small, quite small, possibly with an herb or two, after first identifying what is indigenous to your area. Yes, not all climates were intended to grow mangoes!

3. Variety and Sustainability

Much of our ‘kitchen garden’ is based on small herb plants, which help flavor our daily meals. Children are tasked with gathering one small item from the garden so it becomes a fun chore and one which immediately has a connection to our meals. When the cilantro/dania finished for the season we turned to the mint, rosemary and basil. And then we set up a compost to introduce another level of sustainability, by composting our fruit and vegetable waste as well as egg shells and coffee grinds. As we reside in a hot climate, we manage three crop yields of soil, which in turn helps feed our garden produce. Composting has been one of the most exciting elements of our home, urban garden, as it has allowed us to have a full-cycle of growth.

4. Other Practical Matters: Stretch

Not only did we start eating more ruffage, which is always a boon, we also now get down on our knees more often, and squat. Gardening is work, and it has the potential to be good, wholesome exercise. Although the ‘gym-culture’ is synonymous with 21st century urban culture, gardening offers another approach to exercise that could help you nurture body and spirit simultaneously. Just make sure you stretch, before and after, and stay hydrated.

5. Be Persistent

As with all new activities, it is critical to be persistent. Have a schedule, it can keep you on top of your weeding and watering. And of course remember to keep your eyes on the prize. That prize may come in the form of a cherry tomato or delicious mint, or perhaps it will come in the form of a child demonstrating that he has the potential to care for the earth. Just do not abandon your garden. If need be, take more inspiration, from the Qur’an, as noted above, and hadith. It is reported that prophet Muhammad said, “There is none amongst the Muslims who plants a tree or sows seeds, and then a bird, or a person or an animal eats from it, but is regarded as a charitable gift for him.” [Bukhari]. Yes, it may not be you or your family eating from your garden, initially, but do not overlook the benefit, including the charity of feeding a bird.

6. Involve Children, and Learn About the Food Chain

In addition to having children plant and reap, involving children in that ever evolving compost pile has been a wonderful teaching outlet. This is science in action. Although some recoil at the sight of worms breaking down our own vegetable matter, many are intrigued. In fact, we have made a trip out to the compost, a requisite stop for all our guests, to meet the (very productive) worms.

7. Think of Maryam

Earlier this spring, when we decided to plant fruit trees, I took further inspiration from Maryam (Umm Isa ), who we know to be especially blessed. Every time Zakariyya entered the Mihrab to visit her, he found her supplied with sustenance. According to one narration, “He would find with her the fruits of the summer during winter, and the fruits of the winter during summer.” [Ibn Kathir] When Zakariyya would see this, he said: “O Maryam! From where have you gotten this”. She said, “This is from Allah. Verily, Allah provides sustenance to whom He wills, without limit,” [Qu’ran: Chapter 3, Verse 37]. Somehow, as we are toiling in our garden bed, summer and winter, Maryam comes to mind, her piety, her purity, and also the blessings of fruit that followed her. Find a Qur’anic model that inspires you. It may be Maryam or another, but the Qur’an has no lack of inspiration for gardening.

8. Do Da’wah and Share Your Harvest

As we were planning where to place our fruit trees in our rather limited urban plot, we made a deliberate decision to plant two trees in our front lot, with the idea of doing da’wah with peaches and grapefruit to our neighbors. What better way to engender friendship and trust among neighbors than sharing fruit with them? However, because fruit trees take at least two years to bear real fruit, in the meantime, we have shared a considerable amount of mint, and on occasion a rare cherry tomato, which has no less impact in terms of engendering good will.

In closing, an oft-cited hadith, will hopefully help motivate our efforts, “If the Last Hour is about to be established and one of you was holding a palm shoot, let him take advantage of even one second before the Hour is established to plant it,” [Al-Albani]. It could not have been stated better, subhanAllah.

I pray that Allah accept our efforts, and that gardens, the world over, flourish. Share your gardening experience – urban or otherwise – in the comments section below!

The post [Productive Hobbies] Tips for Growing Your Own Greens appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

“I confess. I check my cell phone…a lot,” and so the refrain goes.  Many of us have developed a mini-addiction to being ‘connected’ to ensure we don’t miss a beat.

But let’s take a step back. Connection (and the technology that facilitates connection) is neither inherently good nor bad; it’s all about the application and to whom we’re connected. So when we’re connected to a virtual coffee shop with people we have never met, but who we ‘friended’ from afar, while simultaneously driving, texting our miles away, there is a problem. Earlier this year, the city of Houston ran a campaign: “786 deaths on Texas roads this year, drive smart, text later, it can wait.” These little slogans flashed on and off for a whole week on billboards around the city, even as drivers, maneuvered hands-free while texting, and the death toll rose. I could not help but read some deeper meaning into the news serving as a direct reminder from Allah to wake up and take life on and off the road more seriously.

As we experience Ramadan, the most important month of the year, it may be time to take stock, not only of our cupboards and our refrigerators, our taraweeh timings, tilawah goals, and our Eid dresses, but also of our countless mini (and not so mini) technological addictions that put us in harm’s way, and ultimately inhibit our connection with Allah .  This is not a 21st century phenomenon. The technologies have been and are ever-changing (a recent issue of The Economist featured a story on the next generation of cars which will drive themselves), but our tendency to get distracted and stay distracted is the stuff of the nafs (the self), and it is as old as the creation of the nafs itself.  

Among the greatest gifts that Prophet Muhammad gave us was the example of how connected he was to Allah . But he did not just tell us his example, for 23 years he demonstrated fundamental ways to stay connected to Allah :

1. Dhikr

No matter how you transliterate this word, or whether you pronounce it with a South Asian tongue or an Arab one, whether you use a tasbeeh with 101 beads or 33 or just your finger tips, dhikr (remembrance of Allah ) is among the most potent tools we have to stay fundamentally connected.  Dhikr has the power to help us maneuver the dunya, while maintaining our real focus on Him and on the akhirah. Put the cell phone (or whatever contraption to which you may be tied) down. In fact, ‘best practice’ dictates that it should be locked in the glove box while driving, taken out only in the case of an emergency. Let your spirit reconnect and relax with its Maker through general dhikr while your hands and eyes stay firmly fixed on the wheel. While driving, try avoiding dhikr that is usually counted so that you don’t lose focus of the road. The same may be said for other menial chores which occupy much of our day: namely, find a means to connect with Allah to enhance your own safety and quality of life.  

2. Moderation

It is easy to make bold moves and big promises. It is easy to quit smoking for a day, to give up overeating, to forswear excessive Internet surfing, but what about the next day, what about day two of Ramadan…day ten? One of the beauties of Islam and Prophet Muhammad’s character was how he demonstrated moderation in everything, from his interactions to his moderation in consumption, to his varying practices of dhikr. He did not spend his entire life, in seclusion, with a tasbeeh, even in Ramadan. And neither should we. There is a time to drive, alert, aided by iterations of salawat (sending blessings and salutations on the Prophet ), and there is a time to park our vehicle, get out and go to work, or move on to the next task of the day. For those of us who are blessed with cars, cell phones, and Internet access, it is important that we treat these tools as the blessings that they are, and use them moderately while also remembering and being grateful that we are among the few who enjoy these luxuries. Adopt best practices in all your affairs and move on to the next ibadah (act of worship) and another means to connect with Allah .

Applying Dhikr and Moderation

Would Prophet Muhammad have used Facebook in Ramadan? Honestly, I don’t know, but I do know that he embodied Qur’an and dhikr and that he lived moderately and in harmony with his surroundings, and in Ramadan he increased his acts of ibadah. So should we use Facebook? And, if so, should we continue to use it in Ramadan, if we are striving to follow his sunnah? Each of us has to face a personal jihad (struggle) of the nafs (the self), and will be challenged by different tests. My tests are not yours: for instance, I was a die-hard walker and runner until recently when I developed a heel spur and planters fasciitis, and had to recognize that my existence is not always a function of my ability to walk or run. This is ‘small fry’ in the grand scheme, but represents a test nonetheless. For many, such a test will be irrelevant as they grapple instead with weight loss or job loss, with step-children, or step-mothers. Again, each of us has a different jihad of the nafs. For some, Facebook and related social media sites are a huge drain on our time and resources. For others, Facebook usage may actually help us become closer to Allah as we quickly review enlightening pages and reconnect with those dearest to us. If we are not sure, and being introspective does not reveal an answer, then it is best to seek good advisors, who know us well, to help us determine how best to spend our time and benefit from His infinite blessings — the high and low tech included.

While I do not know whether Prophet Muhammad would have used Facebook during Ramadan, we all know that he was not a luddite: he embraced change, the technology of his era, and he was an observer of and a participant in the world around him. That said, we are advised to leave one-third of our stomachs empty when we sit down to a meal, with the idea being that we need to create space for Allah , actual, physical space. Our urge, especially during Ramadan, post-iftar, is to gorge. It is a base, but human instinct. And yet, we are admonished to leave space. The same may be said about technology at times, to create and enjoy, as Pico Iyer wrote, ‘The Joy of Quiet.’ 

Each of us has the potential to create harmony in our own lives, with and without technology, and to benefit from the real blessings of Ramadan. Dig deep, be honest with yourself, recognize your own tests, try to structure your time and prioritize your goals, and when you see ‘786’ flashing, remember the wake-up call.

The post Technology in Ramadan: Absolute Abstinence or Enough Exposure? appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

All too often, the mother-in-law-daughter relationship is fraught with tension and resentment. Seldom do we encounter examples of these two women really thriving in their relationship. In the first article in this two-part series, I suggested ways for you to organize your kitchen and other parts of your home to improve the relationship.

Although the article started by focusing on spices, the final recommendation was to look inward and realize that we all belong to Allah , and that nothing is truly ours — not our kitchen wares, not the deed to our homes, not our spouses, not even our own egos. A constant reminder of this fact will inshaa Allah help as we seek to improve the relationship with our mothers-in-law.

In this article, we will highlight more tips, focusing on spiritual expression.

• What has helped in my own attempt at peaceful coexistence is recitation, not simply the solitary recitation of prayer, but trying to bring recitation into our communal living space. What might my mother-in-law, who spends considerable hours each day with her Qur’an, be reciting? Is she also committing new passages to memory? Could I hold the mushaf for her, and or, vice versa? How may I use the Qur’an to bridge the East-West, Urdu-English, Biryani-Kale smoothie divides? Grandchildren are potential bridges, along with their own recitation, but there is also a relationship that may develop between two adults, existing under the same roof, both earnest in their efforts to live the Sunnah. Surely, a joint recitation of Surah Ya Sin could help reorient us all, and spread His love and noor among us inshaa Allah.

• Next stop: when did you last undertake any sort of charity project with your mother-in-law? Or have you ever? Imagine, collaborating in your good deeds? If there is tension in the relationship then conceiving of this project may be inconceivable (not to mention all the other demands on your time). Start simply by making du’aa about it. Then approach it, slowly. Perhaps it could begin by a visit to a local mosque/food pantry to drop off food together. It need not be exclusive, i.e. other family members are welcome to join but the point is that you are trying to build a relationship with a specific individual, rather than letting a key relationship lie idle.

• Now, imagine Prophet Muhammad’s home. Yes, imagine it. Try to think how you and your mother-in-law would fit in to that home, and how any real or perceived differences and underlying tension would manifest. Consider trying to discuss your frustrations with the Prophet . How do you think he would respond? What would be his recommendation to you to gain favor with Allah and live peacefully in this world? I would like to challenge any reader who is struggling in her own relationship to dig deep into the Sunnah and the Qur’an and find solutions relevant to her situation, be it related to child rearing, dressing or privacy, as some women have mentioned in their previous comments. There are codes of conduct that I could recommend (and a growing body of literature), but each of our challenges is slightly different; and the more we work to understand and improve our situations (and really tailor solutions to our situations), the more empowered and ultimately successful we will be inshaa Allah.

• Now, imagine being your mother-in-law. This may be more difficult than the previous exercises, as it requires moving away from our own ego, which is perhaps among the greatest spiritual tasks. It is also not a five minute exercise, and it may be ongoing, like a recurring visit to the food pantry. First of all, what do you really know about her? Do you know about her youth, about her teenage years, about her own marriage? Do you know her real interests, passion, and work experiences? Do you know about any challenges she faced with the deen? Try to imagine being her and how it would feel to visit your home? How do you honestly think she feels? If you think she feels well, alhamdulilah. If not, perhaps this may be a starting point for discussion and for improving your own relationship, not with your spouse as an intermediary. Again, I repeat, not with your spouse as intermediary. This is not an open gripe session, rather, it is an attempt to start building your relationship with your mother-in-law, directly, with Allah as witness, inspired and enlightened by examples from the Sunnah and Qur’an and with Qur’anic recitation potentially as an added means to connect.

• Finally, words do matter. If after all of this, we speak negatively about our mother-in-law to, for example, our own parents, friends, or children, we will think negatively, and this negativity may impact our interactions—not to mention how it may impact our own children and how they may treat their elders (including us) one day. It may be difficult at first, but try, and try again to hold your tongue, mindful that the angels really are writing everything down, and we will be accountable for all our deeds, however great or small.

Whether we be Eastern or Western (or a combination of the two), hospitality is part of our deen, together with sincere attempts at peaceful co-existence. While sometimes a forgotten ingredient, love breeds love. Focusing on our Creator, and the character of His beloved Prophets will help us to dispel tension and achieve love in our home inshaa Allah.

Please share your suggestions below!

The post Striving to Achieve a Productive and Peaceful Relationship with Your Mother-in-Law (Part 2) appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

But, the world is not black and white. Plenty of New Yorkers live with their mothers, well into adulthood, many of them quite happily together with their spouses. This is no Oedipal Complex, as we were taught by the Freudian psychologists, but instead the simple act of caring for those who need extra help and trying to live in harmony. Likewise, there are countless Generation X and Y-ers in our midst who, while perhaps not living alongside their parents, are dutiful sons and daughters.

It is, however, unfortunate that first impressions remain, and, at times, blind us. I admit to having been blinded, for years. My own mother-in-law, who is exemplary in her conduct, mashaAllah, moves frequently amidst her many children. We have hosted her and will inshaa Allah continue to do so. At times, however, my own cultural reference points, including an ingrained sense of value based on earning power and social autonomy, prevented me from recognizing the blessing of hosting, particularly one’s mother-in-law, keeping in mind that the relationship with a mother-in-law may be inherently different than that with one’s own mother.

In this two-part series, we will look at different aspects of interacting with one’s mother-in-law, starting with……

The Kitchen

Need I say more? Most of us have our own way of provisioning, preparing food, cooking, and, yes, often times, cleaning up. Even those of us who work outside the home, generally have a sense of possessiveness when it comes to our kitchen. How is it possible to share this turf with one’s mother-in-law? How may you transform potential turf war into harmony? Following are some possible tips, for the kitchen and other aspects of your life as well, learned through experience. It should be noted that they apply more to a ‘modern’ setting where a husband and wife may live independently and are subsequently joined by the mother-in-law(for a short or extended period), than a more ‘traditional’ set-up where a daughter-in-law moves in with her parents-in-law. Furthermore, of critical importance is the fact that while there is no requirement per se of a daughter-in-law to serve her mother-in-law, kindness and respect are expected, and Inshaa Allah any service given will be rewarded by Allah .

• Create as clear an organizational scheme as possible so your mother-in-law may navigate the kitchen. Let the spices be accessible (and legible, particularly for families with two languages under one roof). Ensure you keep a range of food, and regularly ask your mother-in-law whether you have the foods she may require (especially if there is more than one cultural cuisine).
• This same principle may be extended to the other communal areas of the home as well. Are pens, pencils, books, puzzles all accessible? May people move freely and comfortably through the home? Is there a designated communal prayer area? Any communal quiet areas? A garden? Gardens have the potential to provide great joy to young and old(er) alike, and provide a way for us to work both collaboratively and independently; different plots may be identified or agreement could be reached about a common plot.
• If there is any underlying tension in the home, consider undertaking these organizational or re-organizational activities together (such as the spice reorganization noted above, and even ensuring a place where pens/pencils may be readily found, yes, these details make a difference). These activities are also best done when there is less time/work pressure, possibly over a weekend, so that you have more buy-in from all parties involved.
• If you are the lead cook, set a menu so that there is always ample food, but also be open to new dishes and new flavors. Although it may not come naturally, particularly for those of us who have been reared to be more socially autonomous, seek input, and, if she is keen, invite your mother-in-law to contribute dishes as well. Furthermore, even if you are the lead cook, try to learn as much as possible, and consider this period primarily as one involving lessons in humility. The kitchen is also part of our deen, and there are important life lessons that take place there.

But there is a lot of life (and lessons) outside the kitchen, as well. Inshaa Allah, we will highlight some of these other areas in the next part of this series.

One final thought in concluding this part: although it is a material world and we are seemingly rooted in the dunia, it is important to constantly remember, especially amidst any perceived trials of family and in-laws, that nothing really is ‘ours’ per se, not our home, for which we may hold the deed, nor our kitchen wares; not even, our ego. In the end, everything belongs to Allah , and to Him we will return. On some level, it really is that simple.

Please share your suggestions below!

Continue to read Part 2 of this series.

The post Striving to Achieve a Productive and Peaceful Relationship with Your Mother-in-Law (Part 1) appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

To offset this apparent slacking, however, I believe that there is an awakening of spirit – one which ultimately represents another form of productivity altogether. From an Islamic perspective, and, I would argue, from most faith-based traditions, our productivity should be entirely for Allah, : our work, our leisure, our child rearing, our prayers should all be intended to serve and glorify the Creator of the universe. This is all much easier said than done, but such was the example laid out by the Prophets and perfected in the final Prophet .

And yet, increasingly, the prominent philosophy of our day propounds that self aggrandizement – the realization of oneself for oneself – is the ultimate goal. Charitable works are afforded their place, but the reason behind them, unfortunately, often leads back to the sense of fulfilling one’s own glory. And so a Muslim, or any person of faith, often feels largely counter-culture.

This duality is not new, but its increasing prevalence is a novelty, and we are just starting to see the consequences. The fact that many of us live for ourselves in a spiritual vacuum has serious repercussions for our mental and physical health, as well as the health of the planet.

I will not belabor the disconcerting statistics that point to declining universal health in an increasingly modern world: instead, I would like to reiterate several points about an alternative productivity, namely that of the aspiring huffadh in our midst, or those who have been blessed with the opportunity to memorize and preserve the words of the Holy Quran. This effort, in the prevalent dogma of our time, may seem very counter-culture, and yet, I think that it is sustainable, and will ultimately uplift, enlighten, and help return us to the goal for which we came into the world – to serve and glorify the Creator of the universe. So how do we embark on this goal?

1. It is first important to realize that hifdh Al Quran is not reserved for a select few. Although only some of the ummah may recite at taraweeh, it does not mean the rest of us are out of the club. Hifdh Al Quran does not have an age limit; it does not have an ethnic component (or an economic one for that matter). If you are a white woman over 30 or a black man over 60, you are welcome. Earning power is not a determinant. Think of the Sahabah: although many (not all) were Arabic speakers, they were otherwise very diverse in terms of age and background, yet all came to preserve the heavenly words of the Quran.
2. Second, you need not be enrolled in a full-time hifdh program. Although an instructor is a must, teachers take many forms, particularly in the age of the Internet – Skype instructors are becoming increasingly common, as are phone conferences, for this purpose. There are abundant opportunities to tailor a program to your own busy schedule.
3. Remember, you are not a failure if you do not succeed in memorizing everything. The mere attempt to understand and preserve the words of the Quran is considered sunnah. A single verse well-preserved and embodied will be rewarded, inshaa Allah.
4. The more effort you make, the more hifdh will transform you. If we only recite with our teachers on a specific day, hifdh will largely remain an academic exercise. However, if we start exchanging surahs with our loved ones or reciting in unison, our hifdh will start to come alive in a way that it was actually intended inshaa Allah. If our otherwise mundane chores are animated by the recording of a beautiful qari and we begin to recite in tandem, those same chores will take on an entirely new meaning. As just one example, I drive a ‘hifdh mobile’ throughout the day, using potentially lost travel time as critical review.
5. Following from above, try to use complex family situations to your advantage. Try to make hifdh the common language, particularly when there are two (or more) competing cultures living under one roof. This is particularly apt for many reverts who struggle to accept all aspects of their spouses’ culture.  Hifdh, if approached in the true spirit of preserving and living Quranic ayaat, has the potential to be that alternative. Our home, after all, is a microcosm of the universe, and it may be one of resounding peace if you choose to make it as such.
6. Finally, it is precisely in the times of stress and strain (and perceived utmost busyness) that the Quran has the potential to help us most. Turning to the Quran, and by extension, to the preservation of Quran in our hearts, actually has the potential to create more space and time in our lives by instilling a greater level of peace. This may seem counterintuitive as we look at our full schedules, but just try and then try again – particularly in the sanctity of salah – and you will see the miracle unfold, inshaAllah.

There are countless additional points that may be made beyond this brief overview. What are some ways that help you memorize and integrate the Quran in your life? Perhaps you have methods to learn other concepts that can easily be incorporated into hifdh. Whatever your strategy, may your journey with the Quran be full of peace and productivity!

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