Six months earlier…

“SURPRISEEEEEEEEE” Everyone yelled when Zahra, the bride-to-be walked in. Salma had invited all the girls to celebrate her best friend Supa’s engagement to Ali.

“Oh my God you know those irritating people who flutter their eye lashes and say ‘I’m so blessed’? Well, I’m one of them now.” Supa giggled. “I really am blessed. AlhamduleAllah”.
Salma forced a smile on her face even though she was seething with jealously; she literally thought her envy might emit a sizzling sound. But then again, she was positively sure none of them would notice the green eyed monster she’d been harboring deep into her soul for weeks. Salma covered it up so well. She’s throwing a party for Zahra! Would a jealous friend do that?

Oh if only they knew…

Zahra’s eldest brother Ibrahim and his wife Aisha waited in the car with Omar, Zahra’s twin brother, for the bride and her best friend to come down. They were all invited to the groom’s house for dinner, Ali, who also happened to be one of Omar’s friends.

Sitting in the backseat of the car between Salma and Omar, Zahra couldn’t help bouncing up and down with excitement.
“Ibrahim is married. I’m engaged. It’s your turn now, Omar!” She winked at her twin.

“Oh now I know why they call you Supa, coz you’re ‘Super Delusional’.” Omar mocked. “I’m happy for you Zoe, but just so you know, don’t go expecting to hear any wedding bells in my future.”

“First they won’t be bells, they’ll be old women’s shrills’ Zahra laughed. “And secondly, who wouldn’t want to find everlasting love? It’s the best feeling ever. Ibrahim, say something.”

Ibrahim didn’t reply or even smile. He kept on driving silently while Aisha sat next to him in the passenger’s seat, staring at the ‘Oscar’s Best Dressed posts’ on ‘Instagram’, completely detached from the conversation.

“Maybe there’s a special girl out there who might one day change your mind.” Salma fluttered her eyes, desperate to get Omar’s attention. She’s been in love with him since God knows when and yet he barely knew she existed.

“Trust me, she doesn’t exist. Besides, I’m not the marrying type. I’m more of the ‘fun-partying-watch-my-friends-get-hitched-and-shake-my-head-at-their-dubmness’type of guy.” Omar replied.

Salma was fuming, especially when everyone laughed at the stupid insinuation, even Supa! Well, as long as she was happy with Mr. Perfect, what did she care about other people’s feelings? Salma’s jealousy, resentment and anger were bubbling inside her like lava. She had to do something about it before the fire coming out of her ears burns through her Hijab.

“I heard you’re throwing a party for Ali, too” Salma commented. “Copycat!”

“Yeah, the difference is I know how to plan one. You invite a few girls to gossip in your living room. I on the other hand party like a rock star” Omar boasted.

“You mean dancing and drinking till dawn. Isn’t this what you’ve been planning for Ali’s bachelor’s party? Yeah, I definitely can’t compete with you.” Salma smiled wickedly. That should ruin the night she thought.

Omar threw her a dirty look and glanced quickly at his eldest brother Ibrahim, who was on the phone. Thank God he didn’t hear her snide comment. Of course Aisha made an unreadable face and turned away. It was his twin sister Zoe who was shocked and hurt the most.

“Alcohol?” She whispered. “Seriously Omar? I thought we talked about this. Is this how you want your future brother-in-law to start his life with me?”

The twins argued while Salma listened, taming her envy with a liberating conclusion that ‘Supa’ wasn’t that super after all. She had a reputation for having such great motivational and persuasive techniques, that some of their friends predicted Zahra would become one of those famous influencers or inspirational speakers. Yeah right! She couldn’t even get her own brother to believe in God.

“I’m sick of hearing this Zoe. You don’t need to be religious to be a good person.”

‘I say it because I love you.  Just try to open your heart. I know you’ll eventually find your way back to God” She said softly.

“If God has a problem with me not believing in Him then He should take it up with me, man to man. Right here, right now!” Omar yelled.

It all happened at the same time

Omar was challenging the great Lord..

Salma was simmering with envy to the point of wishing evil upon her own best friend.

Aisha was disappointed they were almost there. She had secretly asked God to create an excuse big enough to stop them from going to the dinner party, just to spite her mother-in-law.

And Ibrahim, consumed with fear, passion and guilt, while checking his cell, he took his eyes off the road for exactly two seconds. The wrong two seconds.

And then the crash happened and everything went dark..
“Is everyone okay?” Ibrahim panted. The pipes on the truck they rammed into speared through their glass, completely shattering it. Ibrahim could hear the ambulances’ sirens approaching and was relieved to realize that even though the sharp pipes caused some minor injuries, everyone was still breathing.
They had no idea the car crash chose only one victim to pay the price.

“I can’t see anything…” Zahra whimpered.

A week later..
“Mom I don’t care if she’s blind. I love her and I promised her nothing would tear us apart. I know you disagree but it’s my life.”
Ali slammed the door behind him and went to see his beloved Zahra, who was still refusing to meet him. Her parents asked him to stay away and let her move on with her life.
“I’ve been praying day and night for them to agree. They will eventually. They know I can’t live with her.” Ali insisted.
“My daughter is a proud young woman, she’ll never agree to marry a man without his parents’ approval” Zahra’s mom said.
He left the building feeling crushed, got into his car and drove off like a maniac at the speed of lightening.  This is when he got into a terrible accident too and was rushed into surgery about two hours later.

No one dared tell Zahra about Ali’s accident. She was now at the institution learning how to cope with blindness and trying to adjust to her new life. Although her anger at the world made this ordeal an impossible, endless struggle.

“I know you don’t want to see anyone..”
“See? You think I can ‘see’ anyone? I’m as blind as a bat you idiot!” Zahra snapped at the poor nurse.
“I’m sorry” Zahra’s mom apologized to the nurse. “Please don’t take her tone personally. She’s been through a rough time”
“There’s a woman here to visit, and she’s insisting to meet Ms. Zahra” The nurse continued.
“Who is she?” Zahra asked.
“Her name is Rehana”
Zahra clenched her jaws, and pressed a hand to her throat, feeling her veins about to pop from her suppressed rage. “Mom, give us a minute please.” She hissed.  “I need to speak to Rehana alone”

Later that day

“Rehana honey tell me what happened” I ran to hug my friend who had been waiting for me on my porch. She was shivering and sobbing hysterically, I could hardly understand a word she was saying.
“I talked to Ibrahim’s sister” Rehana sniffled.
“You what? Rehana you told me it was all over! You said you had repented and closed that page.” I scolded.
“No Lilly you don’t understand. They got into a car accident and his sister Zahra lost her eyesight. She’s staying in the same special needs institution I volunteer at. I couldn’t not go see her. Especially after what Ibrahim said. He blames me for the accident and for everything that has happened.”

I tried to hide my disappointment and be supportive instead. After all, I wasn’t just her life long friend I was also her therapist now, ever since she finally decided to confess her sin and asked me to help her get back on the straight path.

“Ibrahim thought confessing the truth to his sister would help him clear his conscious. He admitted he got distracted while driving coz I was texting him.” Rehana gasped for breath. “I went to ask Zahra for forgiveness, but she wouldn’t listen. It was horrible.” Rehana sobbed. “Even after I swore I ended it with her brother, she called me the worst names. She said she couldn’t understand how good people like her end up suffering instead of devils like me. She’s right Lilly. She’s so right.”
“She’s angry, Rehana. No one knows what they’d do if they were in her situation.”
“She said she wasn’t gonna suffer the consequences alone, and then threatened to tell my husband and my parents. She said she’ll make sure this scandal follows me everywhere I go, at work and at the institution. She never gave me a chance to explain.” Rehana was shaking uncontrollably I could tell she was about to have a nervous breakdown.
“Somebody HELPPPP” I cried.

Later that night

“Psych ward? Are you people insane?” I asked the nurse when I went to visit the next day. “Rehana is fine. She’s just a bit stressed out.”
“Doctor’s orders, ma’am.” The bored nurse replied.
“I need to see her”

Rehana was sitting on the floor alone in a dimmed room, barefoot and her hair disarrayed. She looked exactly like the first time I met her in fifth grade sitting in detention outside the principle’s office. She had the kindest heart yet, ever since we were little girls; she always ended up getting herself in trouble.

“It’s over Lilly…” Rehana stared at the wall blankly.
“It’s not honey. Have faith in Allah. He can change the unchangeable. You know that, right?”
“Ibrahim hates me. Zahra hates me. My parents hate me. My husband hates me. And even you hate me..” Rehana bowed her head down in disgrace.
“I don’t hate you Rehana. I love you and I’m gonna help you through this.” I cried.
“It’s too late for me. I don’t deserve Allah’s forgiveness…”
“Please don’t say that. The door to repentance is always open..”
“I know Allah hates me for what I’ve done. Zahra’s right. I am the devil.”
“What happened to Zahra isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s an act of God, and God will never allow bad things to happen unless good comes out of it.” I insisted. “Allah loves us, Rehana.”
“I’ve done so much damage, Lilly. You don’t know how many people I’ve hurt and how many lives I’ve singlehandedly ruined.”
“There’s still time to learn from your mistakes and fix what you broke. Like Omar Ibn Al Khattab said, ‘sometimes the people with the worst past create the best future.’”
Rehana buried her head in her two pale palms. “Lilly, I really loved Ibrahim and I never wanted to hurt him or his family. Promise me you’ll help him fix his life and find happiness. Promise me you’ll help everyone who suffered because of my actions.”
“I’ll try” I replied, desperate to say something soothing.
“I left a letter to my husband asking for his forgiveness, please make sure he gets it” Rehana whispered before sliding out a gun from under the carpet she was sitting on.

Where on Earth would she get a gun in solitary? I wondered silently, my heart pounding so loud, evidently distracting my brain from coming up with a plan.
“Please, don’t” I pleaded. “Trust me, there are other options!”
“I wish that were true..” Rehana whispered.
“Noooooooooooooo”

A couple of weeks later

“She tried to take her own life?” Zahra repeated the question like an endless tireless echo.

“We stopped her at the last minute. Unfortunately she suffered major deficits and is now in a coma. Doctors don’t think she’ll wake up anytime soon”

I came to see Zahra at the institution, still overwhelmed and heartbroken.

“I can’t believe she tried to kill herself. Why? How can any Muslim do that? I swear I wasn’t gonna say anything. I’d never shame anyone that way. I didn’t mean it. I was just blabbering out of anger, I didn’t mean it.” Zahra slurred.
It took a couple of days for her to absorb the immense impact of her words. She couldn’t eat or sleep; she was practically going insane with remorse.

“My heart is gonna explode. I don’t know how to go back to my life as if nothing happened. I’m so angry and hurt I don’t think I can take this anymore.” Zahra cried.

“Rehana gave up the Lord’s endless mercy and submitted to the whispers of Satan. She forgot that He says “No one despairs of Allah’s soothing mercy except those who have no faith” [Qur’an: Chapter 12: Verse 87]. Her hopelessness affected so many people. Her loved ones will never be the same again and they’ll probably never forgive her. If you give up now… Zahra I don’t know what will happen to them, to Ibrahim, Ali, Omar, Salma, Aisha, your parents, your friends. It will change them. If you fall apart now, you’ll drop their hopes to their ground, shattering their faith and willpower. And like poison, this anger and bitterness will spread around and it won’t end. It will never ever end.”

“This is a huge burden to carry…” Zahra wept softly.
“Life is a test; it’s full of hardships. But we must remember the events that take place during our journey don’t control us, our decision do. And you have a decision to make. This is the tipping point Zahra, whatever you decide today will change everyone’s life forever….”

Three months later

“I can’t find Zahra” Aisha panicked; still holding her sister-in-law’s abandoned wedding gown. “I think she ran away”

“How could she possibly run away? She’s BLIND!”

To be continued…

What productive lessons have you learned from this episode? Share them with us in the comments!

Read Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 | Episode 4 | Episode 5

If you haven’t read Season 1 of this series, you can read Inside the Therapist’s Office Season 1 for more insight on the pillars of Islam.

The post [Inside The Therapist’s Office 2 – Ep 6] The Whole Story appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَٰلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِينَ 
ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَـٰبَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌۭ قَالُوٓا۟ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَٰجِعُونَ 
أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَٰتٌۭ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌۭ ۖ وَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُهْتَدُونَ 

We will certainly test you with a touch of fear and famine and loss of property, life, and crops. Give good news to those who patiently endure—who say, when struck by a disaster, “Surely to Allah we belong and to Him we will ˹all˺ return.” They are the ones who will receive Allah’s blessings and mercy. And it is they who are ˹rightly˺ guided.

(Quran 2: 155-157)

My father, Abdullah Rubeya Faris, passed away last Thursday on the 5th of Sha’baan 1445H (15th February 2024).

To Allah belongs what He takes, and to Him belongs what He gives, and everything has its time.

This has been a long and difficult journey for him and for our family that started with a prostate cancer diagnosis in 2005, then increased in intensity in the last 12 months with his loss of mobility and a rollercoaster of medical emergencies until he reached his final breath last Thursday, and was buried after Jumuah prayers the next day.

When someone dies, we often reflect on their legacy and the life lessons they parted with us. And alhamdulillah, I learned so much from my dad – especially his mannerisms and kind conduct with people. However, in this article, I wanted to reflect on his death. I learned so much in this last year from him and the dying process that I want to capture these lessons firstly for myself and my family and secondly impart beneficial knowledge to any child or caregiver as they care for a dying parent, spouse, relative, or friend.

1. This is Jannah

About a year ago, my dad fell on the steps of a masjid as he was going for Isha prayer in his hometown of Dar-es-salaam, Tanzania. That fall led to a host of medical complications, a move to Dubai for treatment, and making him wheelchair-bound and in need of constant care.

During the initial days after his fall, a dear family friend turned to me and said, “This is Jannah.. what you’re doing is Jannah.. don’t let go of it… stay close to your dad”. 

It was this reminder that flipped the situation for me from one of pain/loss to one of opportunity to get closer to Allah SWT. 

This reminder kept ringing in my ears as the difficulties increased over the next several months.

2. Preparing myself spiritually

When my father first fell, I had a feeling that the end was near. I called my dear friend and scholar, Sh. Khalil Abdur-Rashid, the Muslim chaplain at Harvard University for advice and spiritual counseling, here’s what he said:

1. This is a blessing from Allah that you can make it and be with your father in his final days. So, first and foremost, you should thank Allah for this blessing.
2. This is not easy, but this is part of Allah’s mercy. You can shed tears, but don’t despair.
3. Think about what you want to say to him and take advantage of these moments to say what you want to say
4. Ask him for advice on how to live life, and listen and take the advice for the rest of your life, and pass it on to your children.
5. Get his wishes and advice on how property should be handled, how his body is to be treated, and where to be buried. How should we carry on as a family after him? What Sadaqat to give. Record these wishes! 
6. In the final moments, hold his hand and say La ilaha illa Allah. This is a time when angels are descending – you’re in the company of angels. Don’t fear, and don’t be Sad. You’ll see your dad in different spiritual states. You’ll say your words of inspiration, and he’ll say his word. This is an incredible and humbling experience
7. This is a time that’s also a reminder for you that your time is next. And start getting your affairs in order.
8. Your father will finally get what he wants in Jannah – it’s only a matter of time, as Allah promises the believers.
9. We are in a sacred time – the months of Rajab, Sha’baan, Ramadan, and then the Hajj months. A blessed time to pass away. 
10. Ask what Sadaqat he wants to give. Any debts he has? Any previous zakat? Salat? Fasting? Have these discussions sooner rather than later.

I can’t say I lived up to all the advice above, but I often re-read and reflected on his advice.

3. Days are long, but the year is short

“Reflection: the hardest thing about trials is not the initial shock or drama, the hardest thing about trials is the readjustment to a new reality and endurance to keep up with new reality” – A WhatsApp message I sent to my close circle of friends

You often hear that the days are long, but the years are short when raising children. I feel the exact phrase can be applied to a terminally ill parent who requires constant care and is given a bleak prognosis. 

The daily constant requirement of feeding, clothing, cleaning, carrying, and taking care of dad (most of it done by my mother, may Allah bless her), along with mood swings and physical/mental pain, makes you feel tired/exhausted all the time. 

Days bleed into weeks and months, and there’s a part of you that thinks, “Will this ever end/or get better?” and there’s a part of you that regrets thinking of that question and realizing that the end might be sooner than you think. 

You learn to embrace the present, stop thinking/worrying about the future, and just be thankful for one more day and breath.

4. Activating Surf-Mode

Surf-Mode Definition: when life throws crazy challenges at you that all you can do is ride the waves.

Facing my dad’s mortality felt like facing waves upon waves of challenges and trials. Sometimes, the trial is medical, financial, or mental. You can’t stop the waves coming; all you can do is ride them. 

Hence, I came up with the term “Surf Mode” to remind myself that instead of trying to ‘fight’ the waves, I should learn to ride each wave as it comes, no matter how big it gets. This emoji became my shorthand to my friends, telling them I was riding a new wave whenever they didn’t hear from me for a while.

5. Difficulties and Eases

“Verily, with difficulty comes ease.” (Quran: 94:5)

It’s easy to think that I lived a year of doom and gloom watching my father slowly fade.

However, the truth is that we witnessed Allah’s Lutf, gentleness, and ease throughout this trial. 

From finding the right care team to Allah sending us the right people to remind us to be patient when we are about to fall in despair, to mini-miracles happening along that way that could not be “coincidences.”

Appreciating the “khair” in this situation has been my north star – and perhaps I won’t understand the full extent of Allah’s favor upon us during these trying times until late in my life.

6. The Jihad of serving a dying parent

A man came to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), asking his permission to go out for Jihad. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) asked him, “Are your parents alive?” He replied, ‘Yes.’ The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) then said to him, “Then your Jihad would be with them (i.e., in looking after them and being at their service.).” (Bukhari)

I have to admit – It wasn’t easy to care for Dad – and there were moments of frustrations and even, dare I say, resentment. 

Now I understand why the Prophet called serving parents in old age as a Jihaad and why the Quran said, “Don’t say Uff.” 

This is a message I sent to my PCM friends during this period:

“#RealTalk: Now that the “drama” of the hospital is behind us and we are entering the long-term care phase — I feel I’m being tested on this part of the verse… “say no word that shows impatience with them, and do not be harsh with them, but speak to them respectfully”…dad’s getting really frustrated with his condition and is overwhelmed with worry/anxiety and hence very sensitive/snappy… And Shaytaan is playing with my head and wants me to lose patience and utter the word “uff”…May Allah make it easy and keep our hearts pure.”

The year was a true Jihad against my nafs not to feel tired or resentful of the situation, a fight against my tongue not to express annoyance with dad’s constant demands. 

I reached low points that only Allah knows, but I came out of them by His mercy. 

May Allah forgive my shortcomings and accept the little I did for him – Ameen

7. Wanting to escape vs. being present

When someone is dying – depending on their circumstances – there’s a lot of waiting:

• Waiting for the doctor
• Waiting for a procedure to complete
• Waiting for the patient to eat, sleep, use the bathroom, etc
• Waiting for death

Our usual reaction when we’re waiting for something is to pull out our phones and scroll through social media or text our friends/check our emails.

But the day I found myself getting addicted to scrolling through pointless YouTube videos while dad was in pain, I knew that something was off, and I was trying to escape mentally from the situation. 

I realized that my nafs was not ready to be present to face dad’s mortality and the emotions that come with it; it wanted to distract itself with random Mr.Beast videos or “best goals of all time” highlights.

Over several weeks, I had to place strategies to fight this escapism, from deleting YouTube from my phone to forcing myself to read the Quran or do dhikr whenever I felt like escaping.

I wasn’t always successful, and sometimes I failed – but that was part of the Jihad. 

8. The Endurance Game 

Learning from my cycling/running hobbies, I realized that to stick to caring for dad for several months required endurance and not just sprints.

And the secret to endurance is learning how to fuel yourself and recover while putting in the effort.

Finding time to rest, sleep, eat, and even exercise was necessary to build long-term endurance for caregiving. 

Having said that, I couldn’t deny the guilt factor I felt whenever I went for a run or took a nap, knowing that dad was in pain or that my mom/brother was with dad instead of doing what they love. 

I had to deal with that guilt by reminding myself that part of caring for someone is ensuring that you take care of yourself and the care team so that we can all be there for the long haul. 

9. Having Difficult Conversations

One of the most challenging conversations to have with a dying person is what they’d like to happen after they die. 

From practical things like getting access to their bank accounts and knowing what assets/debts they have to their medical preference in critical situations. 

One of my friends recommended I take a pen/paper and have this conversation once. As painful as it would be, it’ll be done once, and you’ll be done with it.

For dad, we talked about his assets/debts, but we never reached the point of his Wassiyyah (will). This reminded me that we all need to have a clearly defined Wassiyyah (will) before we die – to make it easier for our inheritors to know precisely what to do instead of interpreting what needs to be done.

The advantage of having this conversation once is that once that’s done – you can spend the rest of the time talking about everything else but the difficult stuff. You can share memories, ask their advice on your plans, or be present in silent moments of contemplation.

10. Planning your life around a terminally ill person

When someone is dying, your time horizon fluctuates between a few hours to several months. 

Sometimes, things looked good for dad, and we were optimistic that he’d be around for several months, and sometimes, things looked critical that we weren’t sure he’d live for another day.

Trying to plan life around this fluctuating time horizon was so tricky.

Ultimately, I learned to embrace the gardener mindset and pray istikhara on every small/big decision since I had no idea what the future held and let things unfold on their own instead of trying to ‘control the situation.’

11. Allah provides as per your intention

Last Ramadan, I made a dua, “O Allah, facilitate the outer and inner means for me to serve my parents with Ihsaan.”

At that time, I was living in Dallas (Texas), my kids were in school, and my family and I were pretty set in the US. I wondered if I could ever leave all that to be with dad in Dubai for his treatment. But subhanAllah, Allah fulfilled means for me to be with him beyond my expectations. 

Initially, we planned to spend three months of summer with him, and then, depending on the situation, my family would return to Dallas while I stayed on.

However, a “random” call to a friend made me realize that I was eligible to apply for a 10-year residence visa, which meant I could rent an apartment, send my kids to school, and open a bank account locally.

Then there was a one-year contract that stalled for over a year, and that “suddenly” worked out, which enabled me to afford to live in Dubai for the year. 

All of this was unplanned and purely a gift from Allah.

Those were the outer means Allah facilitated, but the inner means were things like the ease and calm with which my family and I accepted the move and the contentment that this was the right decision to make, Alhamdulillah.

12. Keeping Intentions Pure for Allah’s sake

رَّبُّكُمْ أَعْلَمُ بِمَا فِى نُفُوسِكُمْ ۚ إِن تَكُونُوا۟ صَـٰلِحِينَ فَإِنَّهُۥ كَانَ لِلْأَوَّٰبِينَ غَفُورًۭا 

Your Lord knows best what is within yourselves. If you are righteous, He is certainly All-Forgiving to those who constantly turn to Him. (Quran 17:25)

It’s one thing to set pure intentions, and another is to keep them pure.

When people were commending me for staying with my father, I recognized that this was a test, and my niyyah fluctuated with the situation. 

I kept asking myself: Was I truly doing this for Allah? Or just so people say, “Masha’Allah, Mohammed is sacrificing his time/life for his dad.”

Whenever I felt frustrated, I realized that my intentions weren’t pure. I had to push myself to purify the intention and accept this Jihad, no matter the consequences. 

13. Enduring Pain With Dhikr 

If there was one thing that was constant on my dad’s tongue during this whole year of trial.. it was his remembrance of God.

He kept calling to Allah through his pain; he would say “La ilaha illa Allah” often, send salawaat, recite some Quran when he was feeling better, and generally make dua asking Allah to forgive him or make it easy for him.

I remember my heart smiling whenever he made a dua or a remembrance – it reminded me of a story of a sheikh who was once asked when should doctors make a decision to turn off life support. And his response was, “Is there a chance the patient can make one tasbih? or one istighfar?”. 

Every tasbih, istighfar, and salaat my dad was able to make was a means of elevation alhamdulillah.

14. God Loves You

Death came to a man in the time of the Messenger of Allah; may Allah bless him and grant him peace. A man said, “He was fortunate,” as he had died without being tried by illness. The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Alas for you, what will let you know that if Allah had tried him with illness, He would have wiped out his wrong actions.” Muwatta Malik

There was a stretch when dad felt good enough to attend Jumuah prayers in his wheelchair. After Jumuah, we would go around the park and get some sun and fresh air.

In one of these walks, a security guard who remembered dad from an earlier encounter came running to him and said: “God loves you a LOT… that’s why He’s testing you.” – it was the most beautiful reminder of the benefit of illness and trials despite the pain.

15. Dealing with constant worry

The burden of worry was shared by my family – from worrying about dad’s symptoms and overall condition to managing our finances with the mounting medical and care expenses. 

Amid a troubling period, I received this poem from a friend, which helped to keep my worries at ease:

“Some eyes stay awake, and some sleep,

Regarding matters that could be or not be.

As much as you can, keep worry away from the soul;

Weighing yourself down with worries is madness.

Your Lord sufficed you yesterday with what was;

He will suffice you tomorrow with what will be.”

(Imam Al-Shafii)

It’s true – every time I thought I was getting overwhelmed with worry (will he make it tonight? Can we afford a full-time nurse? Did the insurance get back to us)… Allah eased the worry and facilitated a way out.

16. The power of a mother/wife 

The rock in our family during this whole period was my mother. 

Although my brother and I tried our best to be with dad and help out, my mother set the high bar for what a loyal, caring, and dedicated wife can be.

From sleepless nights when she checked on dad every few hours to the selfless care she gave him.

She was so concerned about his cleanliness and physical well-being that she’d go the extra mile in things we thought were “trivial” for someone who was dying.

She would brush his teeth, cut his nails, give him a shower or warm bed bath (even when he didn’t want to), treat his skin with cream, oil his limbs, cook him multiple meals (half he refused because he didn’t feel like eating especially towards the end of his life), wash his clothes, sit with him and converse with him.

Her endurance and persistence were exemplary, and I’ll always admire her, and I pray that my siblings and I can provide the same care for her as she gets older, insha’Allah.

17. Making Tough Medical Decisions

One of the complex aspects of caring for a terminally ill person is balancing between medical interventions that would help someone stay alive and learning when to “let go” and not prolong the patient’s suffering.

I read a book a few years ago called “Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End” by Atul Gawande that helped with these decisions.

The key message of the book is a reminder that throwing medication and treatment at a dying person might be doing more harm than good. At some point, palliative (pain) management care is the best course of action for a peaceful and dignified death.

When you realize someone’s time is written, you start wondering how far do you want to go with medicine. If you can’t prolong life, then why prolong suffering? 

I often found myself going back to that book’s lessons and the central question the author was trying to address: “How do we make life worth living when we’re weak and frail and can’t fend for ourselves anymore?” 

We often grew up thinking that doctors can “fix it all” with some pills, surgeries, or a new piece of technology. Instead, I learned that death was humbling for us and everyone in the medical field. 

One of the toughest medical decisions we had to make as a family was to sign an “Allow for natural death” form. The form stated that the doctors believed no further treatment would help and that we accept the consequences. 

I felt that was the best medical decision we made.

18. The moment of death

One day I was researching “How does someone die” and I learned that people die in 4 stages: 

• Stage 1: social death: when a person retreats to his room or hospital bed and is unable to engage in social life
• Stage 2: psychological death: When a person’s personality changes, and goes through delirium, confusion, and the throes of death.
• Stage 3: biological death: when the organs start failing, and the body is unable to cope with the ‘system shut down.’
• Stage 4: Physiological death: this is the moment when the ruh leaves the body, and the person is pronounced dead.

I witnessed my dad go through the first 3 stages in the last few months, but I always wondered how the moment of death would happen – where would I be… what would I say… Last Thursday, I got my answers:

• At 3 pm, dad’s situation was getting critical, and I told my mom that we should spend the night at the hospital. So we decided to go home, have a quick bite, and rest a bit to prepare ourselves for a long, sleepless night.
• At 4 pm, my brother called me from the hospital saying that dad’s blood pressure and oxygen were dropping and we should rush back.
• At 4:30 pm, we reached the hospital, and we sat by dad’s side. Holding his hands, reciting Quran, doing athkar, and waiting…
• At 5:45 pm, I completed a khatam of the Quran next to His bedside and prayed for a beautiful end.
• At 6:10 pm, dad took three breaths.. and then he died.

This was the first time I witnessed someone dying this close.

It was a moment of awe and spiritual depth that doesn’t compare to anything I had experienced before, and I thank Allah SWT that He inspired us to say what pleased Him at that moment: 

إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَٰجِعُونَ
To Allah, We Belong, and to Him, We Shall Return.

19. Personal Pain vs. Ummah Pain

Going through this journey with dad was a personal journey of pain and loss for me and my family.

However, while we were dealing with dad’s pain in the comfort of a home and hospital, I couldn’t help but feel the pain of our brothers and sisters in Gaza who don’t get a chance to care for their ill or give their dead a decent burial. 

I had a year to process that dad was dying and leaving us…many of our brothers and sisters had milliseconds as their children, parents, spouses, and relatives were blown to pieces by bombs dropped from the sky and sea.

Although this was a tough time for me and my family, it was even tougher for our Ummah.

The combination of witnessing death so close and witnessing the genocide happening in Gaza has fueled my desire to continue this work at Productive Muslim- for life is short, and the Ummah needs us to step up.

May Allah SWT make us a means of victory for our Ummah, and may Allah SWT use us and not replace us to save our brothers and sisters in Gaza and beyond.

The Journey Ahead and a moment of gratitude

I’m still processing my dad’s death…as I was telling my close friends “Alhamdulillah, I’m doing ok…not sure if it hasn’t hit me yet..or my grieving process started early..”

Despite the challenging year we endured – I’m thankful to Allah SWT that He guided us every step of the way.

I’m thankful for being part of the Ummah of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) that taught us how to approach death, what to say and do at the moment of death, and how to treat and bury our dead with respect.

I’m thankful to my mother who showed us the meaning of sacrifice and loyalty.

I’m thankful to my brother, Rayyan, who was my thinking partner whenever we had to make tough decisions and for the many nights he stayed up while I went home to rest.

I’m thankful to my sister, Fatma, who was the spiritual rock in the family constantly reminding us to do good on behalf of my father.

I’m thankful to my wife, Farah, who eased my sacrifice and encouraged me to spend this year with my dad while she had to adjust to a new country and new surroundings.

I’m thankful to my children – who gifted my dad with so many smiles and laughter and gave me temporary relief from the burden of watching my father slowly die.

I’m thankful to my close network of advisors and friends who were there every step of the way, lending me a judgment-free space to rant, brainstorm, and express the ups and downs of my journey. I honestly couldn’t have asked for better friends.

I’m thankful to my extended family and dad’s network of close friends, who kept visiting us and showing us support.

Alhamdulillah. 

I pray Allah SWT grants my father Jannat ul firdaws for the patience he displayed and grants us all a good ending.

If you read this article and you benefitted from it – please pray for my father and if you want, please give sadaqah on his behalf.

JazakumAllah khair.

The post Lessons from a Dying Parent appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

It’s a bold question that invites us to reframe our perspective on entrepreneurship and design.        

During the past twenty years, I’ve been developing my creative practice and leading my design consultancy, Gould Studio. At the same time, I’ve been seeking a holistic understanding of how design, entrepreneurship, and creativity can align with my Islamic faith.   

This search resulted in defining and aspiring towards six spiritual principles that help guide and inform what I term ‘Heart-Centered Design. They are Intentionality (Niyah), Sincerity (Ikhlas), Excellence (Ihsaan), Contentment (Ridaa), Trust (Amanah), and Blessings (Barakah). My understanding of these words, including Barakah, is not well captured in single English words but used for convenience and familiarity. This is especially true when sharing these concepts with mainstream audiences unfamiliar with Arabic terms. 

I have conducted training for product designers at companies like Apple and Google who were encountering these words and concepts for the first time. While notably familiar with terms like zen, wabi-sabi, and feng shui, none had really considered an ‘Islamic’ spiritual approach to design. 

Steve Jobs was notably inspired by his many visits to Kyoto, and there is a clear influence on the simplicity experienced in Apple’s design philosophy. But it made me think, ‘Where are the designers and products inspired by the profound beauty in our Islamic tradition?’ In the wonderous cities of Fes, Istanbul, Damascus, Granada, Jerusalem, and Madinah, I discovered artistic & architectural marvels adorned with mesmerizing mosaic tiles and majestic calligraphy—an astounding and enduring creative legacy. It turns out I was thinking about it the wrong way. These beautiful creative efforts were designed for remembrance, not distraction. We don’t even know the names of the most incredible craftspeople, artisans, calligraphers, and designers who left us this incredible heritage. What we do, however, is their invitation to contemplate and remember God as a result of appreciating their work centuries later. The way I understand it, this experience exemplifies what Mohammed calls ‘the Barakah Effect’ in the context of design.   

How, then, might we, as modern-day designers, entrepreneurs, and professionals, reconcile the deep understanding and spiritual practice of our creative predecessors with our hyper-digital, Hustle Culture lives?

I don’t have any shortcuts for you. I’m afraid there is no quick checklist that will guarantee your next product or startup will benefit people a thousand years later. But what I can hope to share is a brief explanation of these timeless and universal spiritual concepts in relation to the design process and how they might foster Barakah in our work (a topic I will explore in detail in my upcoming new book, “The Heart of Design“).

Our creative vision and idea might be small and specific or bold and vast, but in all cases, we might apply these deep spiritual concepts as our ‘design values’ to inform a meaningful approach to our work and professional path. Let’s explore:

1. With clear intentionality (Niyah), we may commence our creative or entrepreneurial journey with direct alignment to our spiritual aspirations. We start with Bismillah, in the Name of God, and strive for a vision that serves a noble purpose. By reframing project success to be holistic and inclusive of spiritual well-being, not simply financial impact. With a commitment to design for remembrance and not for distraction. To create work that will inspire, inform, and respect our audiences – not pressure, rush, or addict, and to avoid fueling Hustle Culture.  
2. Secondly, our creative and entrepreneurial path should be one of sincerity (Ikhlaas). We are invited to practice design to illuminate hearts, empower livelihoods, and transform communities with a call to remembrance. To align our work to meaningful causes, clients, and projects that benefit humanity. To reconnect audiences to divine beauty & artistic perfection in God’s creation, present in the world at all times as the ultimate design.  
3. Thirdly, to embody and pursue excellence (Ihsaan). This means a commitment to quality and well-considered execution of design in all aspects, including the way we serve audiences, stakeholders, staff, suppliers, and natural resources. We may ask questions encouraging our startup & team to reflect on God’s divine names & attributes and how we might aspire to manifest them in our products. Perhaps a social enterprise will contemplate Al-Adl (The Just) or a product designer, Al-Musawwir (The Fashioner of Shapes). 
4. By seeking and maintaining a state of contentment with the Divine Wisdom that decides the outcomes of our affairs (Ridaa). This means practicing humility and gracefulness by appreciating success as a gift and reciprocally accepting challenges & setbacks as learning and wisdom on the path to growth. Cultivating awe and wonder at the Creative Majesty of Allah (SWT) and His design of the universe to inspire our humble efforts. 
5. Understand that our creative imagination, designer instincts & entrepreneurial efforts are a trust & responsibility to serve and empower others (Amanah) and not exclusively to further our material wealth. Taking the opportunity to reframe personal, community, and global problems as design challenges to be solved individually and collectively and embracing our professional journey as a way to foster a culturally diverse, global, like-hearted movement striving for a bright, shared future. 
6. Believing actively in the abundance of God’s blessings (Barakah) to enable our success, and the vast opportunities to design for good and positive change in a transformative, not transactional way and aspiring for far-reaching impact, with a very long-term interpretation of success that may come only in future generations. By embracing a co-opetition (not competition) mindset, knowing that together we are stronger. 

Returning to The Barakah Effect book, I love how Mohammed invites us to engage in ‘high-ummah’ projects that call us to pursue conscious, visionary, and spiritually grounded leadership with ambitious objectives. By applying these principles and asking deeper questions about our creative and entrepreneurial ambitions, I pray together, we may soon experience a generation of transformative products, brands, and companies that embody Barakah Culture and invite us to remembrance, not a distraction. 

Peter Gould

Discover and support Peter’s forthcoming book, The Heart of Design

https://launchgood.com/heartofdesign

The post Nurturing Barakah in our Creative & Entrepreneurial Journey with Peter Gould  appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

I’ve been speaking to several CEOs, HR Directors, and managers at companies worldwide (small and big). They all face a consistent challenge of managing people’s spiritual and emotional challenges that get in the way of doing their best work and impact team and organizational performance. Challenges like envy, anger, ego-centricity, gossip, lying, arrogance, etc.

Typically, companies tackle the above challenges through ‘cognitive’ interventions like training, coaching, and giving feedback. However, some spiritual and emotional challenges can only be dealt with through a deeper, heart-centric, and spiritual-based approach.

Enter – The Chief Murabbi Officer.

A person or function/role whose sole purpose is dedicated to the spiritual and emotional well-being of leaders and employees at an organization. 

The Arabic word “Murabbi” carries layers of meaning – at its core, a Murabbi is one who nurtures souls. This role is often viewed as belonging in formal educational contexts like schools and madrasahs. However, the essence of a Murabbi is someone who oversees the spiritual and emotional development and care of others. In some cultures, Murabbi is referred to as an elder person, someone who is wise (age and experience of life), and who is respected, and is invested in nurturing souls through spiritual and emotional intelligence.

We have the best example of a Murabbi in Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) who said “I was sent to perfect good character.” (Muwatta). You often see/hear reports of him gently, and compassionately correcting behavior and advising how to deal with some of the tough human spiritual and emotional challenges we face each day.

The Chief Murabbi is not an organization’s psychologist – nor an organization’s chaplain but a combination of a counselor, psychologist, and executive coach, with sound character and good standing – who can speak to people about their spiritual/emotional challenges and become a safe space for people to discuss these issues with them.

Imagine you visit your company’s Murabbi when you’re struggling with envy, and you want to speak to them in privacy about this topic, and they’d listen to you and give you practical ways to deal with your heart’s disease.

Or imagine getting a visit from the Chief Murabbi Officer when you have an angry outburst at an important meeting at work, and they’ll speak to you about what triggered that anger and how best to tackle it next time.

So many issues can be resolved through facilitated conversations with Murabbi officers that won’t have to go to HR for disciplinary measures, issues such as arrogance, toxic or inappropriate behavior, gossip, or taking undue credit.

For small organizations, this can be one person (ideally the leader). For larger organizations, this can be a function with multiple/qualified Murabbi officers. Some workplaces may need at least two Murabbi officers, one for male staff and the other for female staff, so men and women can feel comfortable being vulnerable with their respective officers.

Other notable features of this role: 

• It must be a highly respected role, so I’m giving it the C-suite title “Chief Murabbi Officer.”
• It needs to be a well-paid role on par with a leader in the organization and have a close working relationship with the C-suite and board members.
• The person must have a proven track record of people management from a spiritual tradition, e.g., an Imam with a track record of managing a diverse community or a trained Islamic psychologist/counselor.
• Their primary responsibilities include:
  • To advise and counsel leaders and staff on spiritual and emotional challenges
  • To encourage good ethical behavior and advise against inappropriate behavior
  • Be the spiritual guide for the organization
• The person must understand the corporate environment and its various emotional and spiritual challenges.
• Must be likable and trustworthy, and people feel safe talking to them.
• Bonus: They must be trained in the Barakah Culture paradigm of productivity that we teach here at ProductiveMuslim.

Are organizations ready for such a role? I would like to see if an organization is willing to experiment with this role for 12 months and measure the impact this role has on leaders and staff’s well-being.

Share your thoughts with me on LinkedIn if you’re interested in exploring this role.

The post The Case for Chief Murabbi Officers in Organizations appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

Strategies, Tips, And Tools To Design Your Next Best Self Post-Ramadan

Ramadan ended a few weeks ago, and by now you’re probably starting to settle back to your post-Ramadan routine.

You may have been able to keep up with some of your Ramadan resolutions (fasting a bit more, praying some parts of the night, giving charity often), or you may have crashed post-Ramadan and found it really hard to pick yourself up again – spiritually, physically, and socially.

If you’re someone who wants to maintain consistent improvement post-Ramadan and win the battle of life against your Nafs and Shaytaan (which seems to come back stronger after Ramadan), then you’ll find this useful.

Begin with Next Ramadan in Mind

Fast-forward to the 29th day of Sha’baan of next year, you’re hours away from knowing if Ramadan is tomorrow or not. You’re excited. Maybe a bit nervous. Busy with typical Ramadan preparations.

Unfortunately, the Angel of Death comes and takes your soul in those hours, and you’re deprived of witnessing the next Ramadan.

How do you feel?

The reason I bring this thought up is to help frame this article in your mind: Although you’re not guaranteed to live to witness another Ramadan, this does not mean that your journey of self-development and improvement should be on hold until next Ramadan comes.

There are many things you can do in between now and then and this is what this article is about.

A Framework To Develop Yourself Post Ramadan

The Productive Muslim Company is big on building frameworks that help us tackle some of our most profound self-development challenges. And one of the frameworks that we often use in our training and coaching is the following one:

This framework simply states that if we want to design the next best version of ourselves post-Ramadan, we need to think of the Mindsets, Values, and Rituals that would help us make those changes post-Ramadan.

Mindsets: How You Think Affects How You Behave

It’s common knowledge among psychology circles that our thoughts have an impact on our actions (and vice-versa. More on that later). [“How Thoughts Influence Actions”. Psychology Today]. So how you think about your post-Ramadan period will impact how you behave. Below are 3 mindset shifts that you need to think about to help you upgrade your post-Ramadan experience.

1. Think Realistically

There’s an equation that I learned from a time management expert that helped me a lot manage my stress levels:

Expectations > Reality = Stress

Simply stated, when expectations exceed the reality, you’re only setting yourself up for stress and failure.

How do we do this post-Ramadan? Have you heard yourself say things like: After Ramadan, I’ll pray tahajjud every night, I’ll fast every Monday and Thursday, I’ll give charity every day, etc.? What happens when you don’t live up to those expectations? You fall for the classic Shaytaan trick of making you feel terrible that you didn’t live up to your expectations and fall for another psychological trap called the “What the hell effect.” [“How the What the Hell Effect Impacts Your Willpower”. Psychology Today]

Here’s how the what the hell effect works: You decide to eat healthily and stop eating sugar, and for the first few days, you’re doing great. Then you get invited over to your friend’s house, and they have an incredible dessert spread. Initially, you resist, but your friend insists, and you have a small piece of Halwa. Next think you know, you say to yourself, “What the hell, let me try everything else, I’ll restart my diet tomorrow.” Next day you feel so bad that you break your new diet, and another “what the hell” moment hits you, and you give up entirely on your new diet.

Think of how many times the “what the hell” effect impacted you when it came to your prayers, to voluntary fasting, to being present with your children. Allah SWT captures this phenomenon when he tells us about not following the steps of Shaytaan in a number of verses, like:

” O you who have believed, enter into Islam completely [and perfectly] and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Indeed, he is to you a clear enemy.” (Qur’an 2: 208)

So how do you tackle these two traps: setting high and unrealistic expectations, and falling for the “what the hell” effect? The key is to set small, realistic expectations and then guard them with all your might until they become solid habits before you set higher expectations.

Here’s how this works: You want to pray tahajjud every night? Start by committing to pray 1xrak’ah of witr prayer after Isha prayers and before you sleep. It’s a small commitment, but you want to do it no matter what. Even on days you don’t feel like it or you’re tired. Don’t get on the slippery slope of missing 1 day and thinking “what the hell, I’ll never be able to pray tahajjud in my life.” And even if you do slip 1 day, don’t fall for the “what the hell” effect and instead pick yourself up the next day, stronger than ever. Once you’ve established this routine long enough and it has become part and parcel of your life, upgrade yourself and aim to pray 3 rak’ahs of witr, etc.

2. Think Holistically

The second mindset shift to consider is to think about your personal development journey holistically.

During the Productivity Masterclass, we help individuals and teams think of how to live the next best version of themselves across all their roles, i.e., what does your next-best version of yourself look like as a Dad/Mom? as a professional? As a neighbor? As a Muslim? Etc.

Thinking holistically removes the mind-trap that post-Ramadan self-development is only about rituals. It makes us recognize that the rituals form the bedrock and scaffolding to help us build our next best version across our roles.

To help you think holistically about your self-development, complete our Productive Muslim Self-Assessment tool to figure out where you are today – spiritually, physically, and socially and where you need to go.

Launch Self-Assessment

3. Think Long-Term

One of the primary reasons people give up their post-Ramadan resolutions is that they measure their success or failure based on a very short time frame, i.e., they measure how well they are performing in the first 2-3 weeks post-Ramadan. If they see no improvement, they give up!

Someone might say, “I tried fasting Mondays and Thursdays after Ramadan, but it was too hard, so I gave up.”

What if we expanded our self-development journey beyond these first 2 weeks instead? What if we asked ourselves – how can I develop this new habit/routine in 12 months?

Here’s a thought: We tend to overestimate what we can do in a short period but underestimate what we can do over a long period.

Yes, waking up for fajr might seem hard in those first 2-3 weeks, but if you focus on developing this habit over 3, 6, 9 months, you’ll eventually crack it, and it’ll become easy for you.

A good metaphor for thinking long-term is that of a gardener. When the gardener plants his seed, waters his garden, and works hard all day on his farm. He doesn’t expect to see a mature tree the next day! He understands that growing a tree takes time, and a lot of energy, focus, and time goes into becoming a tree. Similarly, new habits and routines take time to take root, nurture and grow, if you think of them as a long-term project, and work on it daily, you’re more likely to succeed.

PRACTICAL TIPS

1. Think of your long-term goals post-Ramadan across all your roles
2. Think of the obstacles you might face to achieve your goals (be realistic)
3. Think of how to overcome those obstacles – one step at a time.

Values: What Beliefs are driving your post-Ramadan life?

This section talks about a subtle but essential spiritual element when it comes to achieving a post-Ramadan goal. And that is to do with our Hearts and how connected we are with Allah SWT when it comes to achieving our post-Ramadan Goals.

Every day in our prayers we recite this verse →

“You Alone We Worship, and You Alone We Seek Help From” (Qur’an 1: 5)

This is a foundational concept in our faith that is critical for all our self-improvement endeavors. It involves two aspects:

1. You Alone We Worship: All your goals, all your self-improvement, and self-development, should be connected to the concept of you wanting to become the best ‘Abd’ (Slave) to Allah SWT. During the Productivity Masterclass, we speak in detail of the Islamic-psychospiritual model of the human being and how being an ‘Abd’ (slave) of Allah SWT is such a foundational concept that we need to revive in our hearts to help us live the best version of ourselves.
2. You Alone We Seek Help From: This is the recognition that as part of us acknowledging that we’re slaves of Allah, then we need to ask Allah’s permission and tawfeeq (success) in all the goals that we want to achieve.

Let’s be honest; sometimes, the goals we set for ourselves post-Ramadan can be all about developing our self-esteem and self-image. We forgot the ‘why’ that should drive these goals, and hence we give up on them too quickly. If I’m trying to wake up for tahajjud just because I see it as another milestone in my self-development journey, and not as an act of worship that would get me closer to Allah SWT, I need to revise my intentions.

So how can we practically develop these beliefs/values in our lives:

1. Set Good Intentions: When you set any post-Ramadan goal, ask yourself – why am I doing this? Who’s this for? How can I become a better ‘Abd’ to Allah through this goal?
2. Always Ask Allah To Help With Your Goals: Make your goals as spiritual quests. Ask Allah SWT to help you stay physically healthy post-Ramadan, to fast regularly, to pray tahajjud, etc. Don’t be arrogant and rely on your means – you need Him. Ask Him.
3. Work Hard: Good intentions and prayers don’t work on their own. Allah SWT would like to see the effort from you and He’ll take care of the results.

Rituals: What You Do Impacts How You Think and What You Believe

Earlier I mentioned that just like our thoughts have an impact on our actions. So does our action have an influence on how we think?

Here’s a simple experiment: Let’s say you’re upset, or in a bad mood. Grab a pencil and bite it between your teeth, forcing you to smile. Notice how your levels of happiness will increase, and you’ll feel better.

What does this mean for us, post-Ramadan?

This means that whether we feel like it or don’t feel like it – we need to commit to some rituals post-Ramadan that’ll help us improve how we think about ourselves and what we believe is possible post-Ramadan.

There are 3 key concepts to keep in mind though to ensure that you stick to your rituals post-Ramadan:

1. Choose To Focus on Not More Than 3 New Rituals Post-Ramadan: It’s so tempting after graduating from Ramadan to feel that you can change your life 180 overnight and introduce so many new routines in life. Although it is doable, it’s tough and I’d rather you focus on a winning strategy instead. The winning strategy is to focus on 3 new rituals post-Ramadan, and once they become part of who you are, add some more.
2. Start Small: This is critical. The smaller the change in your life, the longer it lasts. Start small but have the intention that you’ll want to grow this ritual over time.
3. Celebrate Progress: When you do your small ritual – celebrate it. Feel good about it. Thank Allah SWT that he enabled you to make one small step towards the next best version of you and being His ‘Abd.’ Celebration will reinforce this ritual in your brain as something pleasant to be done again.

What should happen when I make the above shifts in my Mindsets, Values, and Rituals?

Fast forward your life to the 29th of Sha’baan next year, it’s a few hours before Ramadan might be announced. You’re excited and giddy and can’t wait to find out.

You’ve spent the entire year, slowly but surely, upgrading your mindsets, values, and rituals and living the next best version of yourself: spiritually, physically, and socially.

You feel more ready than ever for Ramadan and for the next spiritual boost.

However, the Angel of Death comes to you in those hours before Ramadan and takes your soul away.

Do you have any regrets?

Or do you feel that you’ve done all you can to be a true Abd of Allah SWT throughout the year and you are ready to meet Him?

The post How to Pick Yourself Up Post Ramadan appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

But we don’t see this level of leadership in the Muslim world today, instead we’re seeing a rapid decay of world impact. We’re witnessing a serious inferiority complex growing in our Ummah; As individuals, we feel inferior to non-Muslims. As businesses and organizations, we feel inferior to mainstream corporations. As an Ummah, we feel inferior to other Nations.

Why is this happening and what can we do about it? Read on…

Inferiority Complex is Real

To know your weaknesses in comparison to others is to be insightful and humble but to harbour a lingering sense of inferiority as a result of this awareness is dangerous. For example, knowing that your colleague is great at public speaking is not the same as feeling that your public speaking skills are worthless and will never improve in time regardless of how hard you try.

In today’s world, we’re immersed in a culture whereby looks, wealth, status and all things materialistic are used as the metric for success. Deep down we know that our spiritual values guide us away from idolising or chasing the material world but at the same time we’re saturated on the outside by people seemingly living exciting, glamorous and beautiful lives. It can be all too tempting to compare our own lives with the façade of today’s hyper-airbrushed world and this constant comparison quickly erodes away at our confidence and spirituality.

Post-colonialism seeded the idea that our western counterparts are somehow better. Although this may not be a conscious thought, it can manifest in our thinking and action in many ways. We can look at the lives and success of our western peers and so easily be drawn into the fantasy that they have the upper edge in this dunya. Sadly, left unattended this feeling can develop into an inferiority complex not just on an individual level, but an Ummah level as well. 

Abul Hasan Ali Nadwi describes the decline of Muslim leadership and causes in his book Islam And The World (pg 173):

Dazzled by the power and progress of Western nations, Muslims began to imitate Western social and economic institutions regardless of the consequences, although they were much inferior to their own and consisted of little more than the ardent pursuit of material success. The prestige of religon was diminished. The teachings of the Prophet ﷺ were forgotten. All those ideals of life, which truthfully displayed within themselves both the spiritual and the temporal aspects of life and did not subordinate the former to the latter, ceased to impress the minds of the great mass of Muslim society. Their place was taken by ideals far inferior to them. Life was filled with frivolous desires and occupations to a degree that it had to eschew religious and spiritual craving and activities. If one were to compare the daily occupations of present-day Muslims with those of the aforementioned specimens of the old Islamic civilization, one would find it hard to believe that both professed the same ideology or that only a few generations separated one from the other.

Along with the distractions of this dunya constantly tugging at the soul, we’re also subject to the whisperings of Satan, who’s sole mission is to make us unappreciative beings.

[Satan] said,  “For leaving me to stray I will lie in ambush for them on Your Straight Path. I will approach them from their front, their back, their right, their left, and then You will find most of them ungrateful.” (7:16-17)

If we’re not mindful of his influence and don’t take precautions to fortify our heart and mind with God-consciousness, we become even more vulnerable to his evil ploys. One of the ways he tries to enter the heart is by weakening the mind.

What is an Inferiority Complex?

An inferiority complex is a feeling of inadequacy that’s not based on any rational judgements. It’s an emotionally-led feeling that holds us captive to constant comparisons which may drive us to wanting to be and act like others, and have what they have in order to feel good enough. 

This feeling turns us into thirsty travelers on a desert land, constantly chasing the ‘mirage’ of what others have but never quenching our thirst with the water bottle that’s around our neck.

We can see examples in our Islamic history of people who rather than holding esteem in their faith, turned towards external factors to find a sense of self worth. 

When Musa (as) and the children of Israel were saved from the tyrannical grip of Firoun (Pharoah), they witnessed first hand the Divine help of Allah SWT.  They were freed from oppression and could live in peace under the prophetic leadership of Musa (as). But not long after the miraculous passage across the Red Sea, they came across a group of people who had taken up idolatry worship and the ignorant amongst them turned to Musa (as) and asked him to “make for us a God just as they have Gods.”

They forgot Allah and fell prey to the insidious idea that the faith they possessed was inadequate in comparison to what they perceived the people they encountered had in terms of faith and provisions. The seeds of inferiority had taken root within them. 

“We brought the Children of Israel across the sea and they came upon a people devoted to idols. They demanded, “O Moses! Make for us a god like their gods.” He replied, “Indeed, you are a people acting ignorantly!” (7:138)

In the tafsir of Ibn Kathir (r) he said:

“It appears that the Children of Israel probably asked these people why they worshipped these idols, and they most likely told them that whenever they seek help from them they help them, and that they seek their provision from them. The ignorant ones among them may have been tempted to believe it, and so they asked Musa (as) to make a similar god for them as well.”

This is an example of how in the absence of God-consciousness we can falsely conclude that happiness and success lies in the superficial platforms promoted in a Godless society. 

We can see parallels of how the inferiority complex is playing out in individuals, organizations and in Muslim society at large today. Let’s take a closer look at each of these levels. 

Inferiority complex in Muslim Professionals

Have you ever stepped into work with feelings of trepidation? Feeling very conscious that you’re different; acutely aware that the sound of your name is different, the colour of your skin is different and that you have a set of rules and a value system that is not aligned with your workplace peers. 

If we bring sharp focus to this, what can it stir inside a person?

For my client, Aisha, it made her feel like she didn’t belong at her workplace. She was a teacher working in an affluent neighborhood surrounded by a predominantly white upper class community. Rather than seeing herself as the intelligent, capable person that she was, she subconsciously felt second-rate to her colleagues and so therefore always felt inferior. This inferiority complex rooted itself in her words and behavior; she would always aim to be agreeable even if she held a different opinion and felt the need to prove her self-worth in everything she did. 

“Never think that you’re not good enough. A man should never think that. People will take you very much at your own reckoning.”

Anthony Trollope

As this quote suggests, we teach people how to treat us. If we see ourselves as inferior, it makes it more likely that we will be seen in this way by others too. 

Moreover, the state of the believer is to know that there is khayr (good) in every situation as related in the following hadith: 

“Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affairs are good and this is not for no one except the believer. If something of good/happiness befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something of harm befalls him he is patient and that is good for him” (Muslim)

Staying mindful of this helps us to elevate our thinking by the mere act of seeking the khayr in all situations, creating awareness in the heart of the blessings and opportunities present in the moment as opposed to dwelling on the negatives and how we’re perceived. 

With this in mind, Aisha and I discussed an alternative perspective; perhaps Allah had given her an opportunity to be a role model and dispel myths surrounding the Muslim stereotype, that she showed great courage by the sheer fact that she goes in to work every day and upholds her values concerning manners and dress code. Immediately, this fresh perspective gave her more confidence in her true identity and strengthened her connection to Allah. The inner critic that would constantly compare her to others started to wane and she no longer felt the compulsion to fit in. 

This feeling of not fitting in is all too familiar for the Muslim professional working in a predominantly western environment. The term “cultural cringe” is defined as an internalized inferiority complex that causes people to dismiss their own culture as inferior to the cultures of other countries. Inadvertently, we may feel the “cultural cringe” factor with our religious orientation too. In not wanting to feel alienated from social groups or hindered from potential work opportunities, a person might dismiss some of their spiritual practices and strive to adapt to the more commonplace practices of their environment in order to fit in and feel on par with their colleagues. 

Regularly missing prayers, not requesting time out for Jumu’ah, feeling awkward about wearing a hijab or growing a beard, dropping inhibitions and placing oneself in inappropriate environments may be some of the casualties of such sentiment. In reality, this can create an internal conflict between one’s spiritual values and the desire to be like others, resulting in anxiety, stress and internal worry. Social anxiety: the fear of being rejected by others, can be one of the biggest triggers for the inferiority complex.

With these emotions brewing inside, the inferiority complex can feature front and center. Feeling that no matter what you do, you just can’t hit the mark or won’t be seen as worthy by others. Even high achievers can feel like failures and imposters. The constant second guessing and feelings of being a second-rate worker hinders performance levels. Confidence dwindles and this can branch off in two ways. 

1. Shying away from opportunities out of fear of being “caught out” and not speaking up with authentic thoughts

2. Overcompensating behavior such as bragging to mask the feelings of insecurity.

Both these positions invite the ego to lead the way and we’re then left with ego-led behavior.

The Messenger of Allah (saw), said, “The strong are not those who defeat people. Rather, the strong are those who defeat their own ego.”

Sharḥ Mushkil al-Āthār 1645

A sense of inferiority is not a cognitive thing, it’s an emotional sense that is carried around privately and painfully. The emotions that can arise range from hopelessness and helplessness to anger, resentment, envy and defensiveness. 

A person can feel completely incompetent at her job even though objectively they’re great at it but that’s the nature of the beast – there’s no rational thinking. You can be completely disconnected from the objective perceptions others may have of you to the extent that there is an outright refusal to see any evidence to the contrary of your beliefs, placing one squarely in the victim-mindset.

Inferiority complex in Muslim organizations

Muslims look to the west and see successful companies: The Googles, Apples, and Teslas of the world Often these companies adopt practices that are foreign to our traditional ways and sometimes these practices are against Islam – yet as mentioned previously, the generalized feeling of inferiority stemming from the idea that we are inadequate and that our ways of doing things are not good enough, can make us blindly follow in the footsteps of these companies as a result. And in the pursuit of success, we may become negligent of our spiritual obligations.

For example, we’re seeing a burgeoning growth in the Muslim entrepreneurial space. There are now Muslim companies competing in the Fortune 500 arena and the Muslim spend is now worth trillions of dollars and is a recognized sector on the world business platform. Although there is this growth, we can also see symptoms of the inferiority complex growing alongside this trend. 

In today’s world, we see Muslim organizations and companies:

• Fully immersed in hustle culture, working staff to the bone
• Relentlessly following formulas of mainstream organizations and copying Silicon Valley and corporate America in hopes of achieving the same high levels of success.
• Feeling a general sense of inferiority to the western world and as a result producing substandard products and services – believing this is all they are capable of? 

What if, instead, Muslim companies adopted sunnah practices with yaqeen (certainty) that Ar-Razzaq (The Provider) will deliver barakah-filled results? A few examples of such practices are: 

• Adopting an Abundant Mindset of mutual benefit and cooperation when dealing with competitors vs. the Scarcity mindset of cut-throat competiton.
• Adopting a Gardener Mindset with work where you set good intentions, work hard, but detach yourself from the results.
• Fulfilling the Sunnah of paying workers before their sweat dries (a concept now known as Pay On Demand)
• Working with staff to develop them spiritually, just like we develop them professionally.
• Organizing and structuring the day and meetings around prayer times 
• Organizing business plans around the hijri calendar (#GoHijri) and even paying staff and offering holidays according to Hijri calendar. 
• Being at the forefront to protect female employees from sexual harrassment and ensuring safe and mutually respective working relationships between genders whether online or in-person
• Creating time for employees to take a Qailulah (short mid-day nap) as was the practice of prophet Muhammad (saw).
• Making the intention of the business not purely about financial gain and profit but about service to the community and Ummah at large.

The above ideas may seem ‘crazy’ in our modern corporate world, and may feel “unprofessional” – but what if thinking of the above as ‘crazy’ or ‘unprofessional’ is actually your inferiority complex talking to you? Yes, maybe not all of the above ideas are practical on a day to day level – but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be encouraged to explore and experiment with ways to grow our business with Barakah!

My point is this: Instead of feeling like the success formulas of corporate America and the like were the only valid ways to create successful companies, what would happen if Muslim organizations placed more faith in aligning the structure of their company and workday with faith-based practices such as the ones mentioned above? With the doors of barakah opened, imagine how this could yield even greater results. 

Inferiority complex in the Ummah on a global stage

In the same way that the children of Israel began to develop a sense of inferiority and feeling “second-rate” to the community of pagans they encountered, we can see parallels in our modern day society with the Muslims of today experiencing similar emotions. The media surrounding our religion is awash with labels such as Muslim terrorists and extremism. Muslims are under constant scrutiny, and this has made us sensitive and defensive. As a nation what impact might this have on our mindset and how are we responding as a result?

Here’s a few ways in which the inferiority complex has taken root in our ummah today. We may find ourselves:

• Desiring to imitate aspects of non-Muslim lifestyles even though it is prohibited for the believer
• Minimizing the importance of certain aspects of our religion because it’s not convenient and feel it will hinder our life goals
• Not standing up for Muslim suffering globally due to political and economic pressure.
• Judging Islamic principles through a liberal secular lens.
• Find ourselves viewing certain practices as outdated concepts and not fit for purpose in today’s world
• Only valuing a practice in Islam if the science community or an academic validates it. For example, we know that fasting Mondays and Thursdays is a highly regarded sunnah, but did we only take it seriously when western scientists concluded that the 5:2 diet was a legitimate practice?

Very often the inferiority complex is on a subconscious level, so most people are not even cognizant to it. However, we need to take a very conscious look at our intentions, choices and actions in order to determine whether we have mindlessly adopted some of these frames of thinking. 

Islam is the last Divine Message to Mankind. We have the blueprint to live a life that is the most balanced,  wholesome, and decent. Yet as a nation, we may have drifted away from this way of life because we have fundamentally forgotten who we are, where we came from and our ultimate purpose in this world. 

And in this lies the antidote. 

The antidote to the inferiority complex

An inferiority complex is fueled by the desire to attain the same levels of power, status and success as those perceived to be in superior positions. In order to shatter this complex, we need to bring our hearts and awareness to the ultimate source of power and honour. 

“Whosoever desires honour, power and glory then to Allah belong all honour, power and glory…”?!

[ 35:10]

For the sincere believer, it is known that only in obeying Allah can one find honour, power and glory in this world but more importantly in the next. Holding tight to this reality, secures the heart of the believer from ever feeling inferior to any other culture or creed. It removes the temptation to yearn for what others have in the worldly sense as faith in Allah is what brings a level of contentment that far outweighs the love for anything else this world has to offer.  

We are the children of Adam. 

We are from the ummah of Prophet Muhammad (saw).

We can call ourselves Muslims because of the greats in our history; the noble prophets, the companions of the prophet and the generations to follow who sacrificed their lives so that we can practice today. 

We have been given tawfeeq (direct guidance) to believe in the Oneness of Allah whose guidance and Help we know is always with us. 

With this identity deeply embodied in the very fabric of our soul, we can stand confidently in any environment holding tight to our values and be fearless of worldly judgement. We can navigate any workspace or social gathering with firmness in our Muslim identity. Our hearts will steer away from feeling any form of inferiority complex or victim-mindset or FOMO (fear of missing out) because there is peace and contentment found in the promise of Allah: 

“So do not become weak, nor be sad, and you will be victorious if you are indeed true believers.”

[ 3:139]

Alongside this understanding, it’s essential to create time for muhasabah (self-evaluation) in order to become more self aware, to be aligned to your fitra and increase in confidence that is rooted in Allah. 

And it is for this reason that I developed the Confidence Masterclass – a transformational 6-week journey that combines Islamic spiritual practices with modern psychology to help Muslim professionals develop spiritually-centered confidence and remove any feelings of insecurity and inferiority.

During this masterclass, you will be guided through the Belief Model framework – a systematic process designed to help you strengthen in all aspects of life pertaining to spiritually rooted confidence.  

For example, Imran decided to join the masterclass to work on his spiritual confidence using the Belief model framework. Prior to this training and despite having a good job, family and comfortable lifestyle, most days he would wake up feeling uneasy and unsettled. He was feeling the pressure of constant comparisons and spiritually weakened by the busyness of life. However, after he completed this training, he described feeling more internal peace as a result of developing a stronger reliance upon Allah and how increased self-awareness gave him more control, emotional grounding and confidence in himself and life choices.

Let’s take a deeper look at Imran’s outlook before the training and how he felt at the end of the masterclass training…

After working his way through the Belief model, Imran is a more confident, healthy, balanced individual who is still ambitiously working towards his life goals but with an active focus of how his work in this world can connect to the next. He’s no longer as concerned with external judgment or trying to fit in; his heart, mind and soul have found contentment in his deen and his feelings of self worth are rooted internally by his connection to Allah.  

“Verily, Allah does not look at your physical features nor your wealth, but Allah looks at your hearts and actions.” (Muslim)

When we keep our sight firmly fixed on Allah, the fear of others dissipates. The inferiority complex disappears and what’s left is an energy, focus and determination to create meaningful lives with the hope that the reward will come in this life and extend to the next.

The post How Inferiority Complex Is Hurting You and the Ummah (and How We Can Fix This) appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

“You are destined for greatness. Believe in yourself and go for it.”

This should be an inspirational and empowering belief. That’s why you’ll see it plastered around the internet as a motivational quote.

Go for it. Not only can you do it, but you are meant to do it.

At face value, it sounds healthy, but it can be a recipe for hustle culture. It is true that we are often our own worst enemies. We let negative self-talk become a barrier to moving forward. It is energizing then, to find something reinforcing the idea we most definitely will succeed. 

Instead of overcoming self-limiting beliefs, believing you are destined for greatness may be the most self-limiting belief you can have.

What is our potential? What does that success look like? These are important questions that are not answered, so we are left to create our own definitions. Perhaps I feel that I have the potential to become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, and I won’t rest until I achieve it. 

Maybe I have a friend, who I think is less talented than me, that started a multi-million dollar business. In my head, this means I have the potential to do better, and now will not rest until I do better. 

Feeling destined for greatness becomes just another way of thinking that you deserve this image of success you have painted in your head. We tell ourselves that our hard work must pay off, and we will get to where we want to go. 

This forms the foundation for hustle culture. It doesn’t stop there though. 

If I believe I am destined for greatness, I will act accordingly. When presented with an ethical gray area, I may be more tempted to act slightly unethically in order to attain that success I wanted. It becomes easier to self-rationalize playing politics to get ahead and hurting others in the process. It makes it easier to justify sacrificing time with family to spend more time on work emails every night. In other words, it makes someone selfish. 

Ryan Holiday offers up this definition of ego,

“It’s not confidence—which is properly defined as evidence of our strengths and abilities. Ego is something different, something less earned, a kind of unhealthy belief in our own importance. … It’s the voice whispering in our ear that we’re better than other people, that our needs matter more, that the rules don’t apply to someone as exceptional as we are. It’s the sense that we are special and therefore need this success or that piece of recognition to prove it (or rather, we deserve it because well, because). It’s the belief that everyone else is watching us, that we’re destined for greatness.”

In Islamic literature, we are familiar with the idea of jihad-al-nafs, which is defined by Abu Aaliyah Surkheel as,

“… the personal struggle against one’s nafs; the lower self or ego, wherein a person strives to overcome temptations, carnal desires and the devil’s whisperings; striving also to internalize the Islamic teachings through acts of worship and devotion: like prayer, fasting, dhikr and almsgiving.”

Abu Aaliyah further continues, commenting on the concept of the nafs al-ammārah bi’l-sū’ (soul that constantly incites to evil),

“This unweaned soul is the abode of a multitude of incessant cravings and desires: be it for wealth, fame, power, physical gratification, exploitation of others – in short, anything that deflects one away from Allah and towards the lower, bestial possibilities of the human condition.”

We are adept at spotting this in others. In many cases, particularly when it comes to money or business/career status, we can spot the undue sense of entitlement from a mile away. We are not as good at diagnosing it in ourselves. One way our soul incites us to these same evils is by masking the undue entitlement with softer, more positive feelings such as deserving something or earning it through merit.  

Believing we are destined for greatness fosters an unhealthy belief in our own importance and cultivates self-centered ambition. 

In a professional environment, this manifests itself in a number of ways. A person will

• Not want to invest time in learning a tool or skill that does not serve the picture of success they have in their head.
• Have unrealistic expectations of what kind of role or position they deserve to be in.
• Lack self-awareness to see how they measure up against their peers.
• Not sacrifice for the sake of team or organizational success.
• Find it difficult to be content, find meaning, or find purpose in their work if they don’t “like” what they are doing.
• Not be engaged in their work. 
• Not be able to form strong relationships or network with others. 
• Constantly look for validation. 
• Deliver work that is subpar or obviously used shortcuts. 
• Seek credit and over-inflate their own contributions.
• Be unable to identify opportunities. 
• Have difficulty finding good mentors. 
• Not be receptive to good advice from others. 
• Garner a reputation as being difficult to work with, or in some cases even toxic. 

It is easy to read this list and immediately think of someone we know that fits this description. It is difficult to realize we might be doing the same things under the positive facade of working hard to be successful. 

To combat the ego means reframing our ideas of success. From a mindset point of view, it means focusing more on the akhirah aspect of success. Practically, it means shifting to a focus on process instead of outcomes. In doing so, we move away from the ego’s obsession with personal glory and embrace a more profound understanding of ego death, which allows us to grow and find fulfillment beyond mere material accomplishments.

Thinking in terms of “what can I do today to get better” shapes your actions drastically differently from thinking in terms of “how do I achieve X”. Focusing on finding purpose in your work goes much farther than only wanting to do what you are passionate about. 

At the root, you have to deprogram the idea of deserving something. 

If any human were to have the right of saying they deserved something, we might say it is the Prophet (s) deserving to go to Jannah. And yet, we find him saying this instead:

“Follow the right course, be devoted, and give glad tidings. Verily, none of you will enter Paradise by his deeds alone.” They said, “Not even you, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet said, “Not even me, unless Allah grants me His mercy. Know that the most beloved deed to Allah is that which is done regularly, even if it is small”

(Bukhari and Muslim)

The last two statements of this hadith offer a profoundly simple solution to the complex battle against our egos. 

The first is to acknowledge our station in front of Allah (swt). He provides and sustains, but he does not owe us anything. 

The second is to stay process-focused on your work. To make it into Jannah is a gargantuan achievement. In Silicon Valley speak, entering paradise would be the ultimate BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) – a reward worth infinitely more than all the riches of this world combined. And yet, the prescription for it is a reminder that the most beloved deeds to Allah are those that are small and consistent. 

It shifts our mindset from being outcome-focused to being process-focused. It takes us from a hustle culture mindset to a barakah culture mindset. 

Recalling the earlier example of a professional environment, this would look like

• Adopting the mindset of a student who is constantly learning
• Consistently delivering results, even when you do not feel like it
• Garnering a reputation for being diligent and responsible
• Able to receive critical feedback as a means of improvement instead of a personal attack
• Looking for ways to develop skills and add value to others
• Leading from a place of responsibility
• Strong ability to adapt to changing situations and circumstances
• Finding ways to give credit to and uplift others 

Breaking free from the idea that we are destined to achieve something is liberating. The moment I forget about the outcome, the less I worry and stress about it. It frees us from the shackles of unrealistic expectations, allows us to focus on doing the work we need to do to get better, and relegates the results of that work to Allah (swt). 

The barakah, of course, is that those results Allah (swt) gives us are often far more than we hoped for or deserved. 

Join the upcoming Careers Masterclass

I’m excited to partner with The Productive Muslim Company to launch the Careers Masterclass. A 5-week masterclass to learn practical tools and guidance to get ahead in your career without sacrificing your deen. Learn more at https://productivemuslim.com/careers/

The post Ego is the Enemy of Barakah appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

If you’re not sure, what the metaverse is, check out the video below:

After getting over the initial excitement and novelty about the experience, I had three questions at the back of my mind:

1. Is this the future or just a fad?
2. Is this better than a Zoom video call?
3. How will this affect spirituality and overall well being?

I’m still thinking about this, but below are my initial thoughts:

1. Is the Metaverse the future or just a fad?

Will metaverse meetups replace Zoom video calls? 

WIll people work, play, and meet in the metaverse as comfortable as we meet over video calls? 

Do I see myself teaching Productive Muslim courses in the metaverse?

The answer is: it depends. 

It depends on the adoption rate of such technology. 

Just like how we adopted smartphones and they became ‘essential’ tools for our modern lives, I can see it becoming a ‘norm’ to have meetups in the metaverse if a large number of people adopt the technology and tools.

2. Is this better than a Zoom video call?

After a couple of hours in the metaverse, we decided to hop back into a zoom video call.

Although the meeting didn’t feel as immersive (as if I’m sitting right across from my friends), seeing a real human face in flesh and bone was definitely a more authentic experience – than seeing a cartoon character of the person I’m meeting.

So, no, I don’t think the metaverse would replace video calls. 

Just like video calls won’t replace real-life meetups, but they can be the next best thing if you can’t meet someone in real life.

3. How will this affect spirituality and wellbeing?

This will be the big question that I feel we all need to ask ourselves.

The first thought that crosses your mind when you take off your headset and you’re back to ‘real’ life is how ‘boring’ real life looks like. It’s not as colorful and bright as the metaverse. And that’s a scary thought. There’s a sense of your nafs wanting to go back to the metaverse utopia and escape this world.

This feeling reminded me of a powerful khutba that Sh. Omar Suleiman gave it a couple of weeks ago. He reminded us of the power of the Dajjal at the end of times to manipulate reality and make what’s not real feel better and be more exciting than the real world!

So how do I feel this will affect spirituality and wellbeing?

Well, we’ve seen how social media can be a double-edged sword. Yes, some good can come out of it, but it can also lead to all sorts of challenges including, anxiety, and in some cases breakdown of families and society. So we need to be cautious as we’re entering the next chapter of the internet. We need to ask ourselves:

• How will this affect our spiritual hearts?
• Will this be a distraction from doing the real-life work of preparing to meet Allah SWT?
• Will it cause more confusion among the youth and a loss of their identity and character?
• Or will this be a safe space where people can meet and learn and grow? And a bridge to help people overcome certain social anxieties they have in real life?

It’s too early to answer these questions. But here are my recommendations if you’re planning to explore the VR/metaverse world:

1. Be intentional: Ask yourself, why are you entering this space? Is this for learning/experimenting or distraction/play? Be clear of your why.

2. Set guidelines based on personal values: What will you do/not do when you enter the metaverse? When will you enter the metaverse and for how long? When will you know that you need to stop and you’re being addicted and simply escaping reality?

3. Balance your VR experiences with high-quality IRL experiences: We are a middle nation. And we don’t go to extremes. You can engage in the VR world, but also have high quality IRL experiences with family and friends. Take your kids to the park instead of enjoying a VR vacation. Teach a workshop in real life instead of just through zoom/VR. Be very conscious that you’re blurring what’s real and what’s not.

I hope you found these thoughts useful and beneficial. I’ll keep you posted if my thoughts develop over time in this space… in the meantime, feel free to subscribe to our newsletter below and receive more insights on productivity experiments that my team and I explore every now and then.

The post An experiment in the Metaverse appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

Although there are lots of books and resources that discuss how to run successful meetings, in this article, I’ll explore how we can approach meetings from a spiritual perspective and the impact our spirituality has on the quality of our meetings. 

I’ll also try to answer the question: how can our meetings be conduits of Barakah (Divine Goodness) for ourselves and organizations and even a means of personal and team-wide spiritual development?

This article will be useful for team leaders, managers, and really anyone who wants to see more Barakah in their work meetings insha’Allah.

Meetings As Spaces Where Souls Meet

The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said, “…souls are like recruited soldiers, those that recognize one another unite in harmony and those that do not recognize one another are at an aversion”.

[Muslim]

To understand the above hadeeth, we need to understand that the beginning journey of our soul is not the moment we entered this world. Instead, the origin of all souls was when they were created by Allah SWT, and made us witness His Divine Existence. Allah SWT says in the Quran:

وَإِذْ أَخَذَ رَبُّكَ مِنۢ بَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ مِن ظُهُورِهِمْ ذُرِّيَّتَهُمْ وَأَشْهَدَهُمْ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ أَلَسْتُ بِرَبِّكُمْ ۖ قَالُوا۟ بَلَىٰ ۛ شَهِدْنَآ ۛ أَن تَقُولُوا۟ يَوْمَ ٱلْقِيَـٰمَةِ إِنَّا كُنَّا عَنْ هَـٰذَا غَـٰفِلِينَ

And [mention] when your Lord took from the children of Adam – from their loins – their descendants and made them testify of themselves, [saying to them], “Am I not your Lord?” They said, “Yes, we have testified.” [This] – lest you should say on the Day of Resurrection, “Indeed, we were of this unaware.”

Quran 7:172

So in that pre-existence world, some souls met each other while some did not. That connection carried into this realm which explains how sometimes you may walk into a meeting and ‘click’ with someone even though you never met them before, or, the opposite happens – you try hard to work with someone and even though they are a nice person, you feel some kind of unexplained aversion to them.

To be clear, this is not an excuse to avoid working with some people because you don’t like them or create in-groups and cliques with people because you enjoy working with them. Instead, we should understand this hadeeth from two perspectives:

1. When we enter a space, we don’t just bring our professional selves to work; we bring our whole soul to work. And our soul may or may not connect with those in the room.
2. Just because we don’t connect with someone at a spiritual level doesn’t mean I should shun them; instead, we should see their presence as a test of our character and spiritual development. And if we can learn to work with them with ihsaan, that can only benefit the whole team as we’ll be able to learn from each other dispite our diverse and different way of thinking and being.

When You Bring Your Whole Soul To A Meeting

Dr. Abdallah Rothman, in his article “What Islam Offers to Modern Self-Help: An Islamic Paradigm of Psychology,” shares the following structure of the soul: 

He argues that unlike popular conceptions within modern psychology, an Islamic perspective of the soul includes multiple aspects, namely: body, mind (Aql), spiritual heart (Qalb), spirit (ruh), and self (nafs). These aspects integrate together to form the spiritual being we know as a human being. 

Therefore, when a soul attends a meeting – they bring these different aspects of their soul to the meeting. Moreover, each of these aspects can be impacted by the interactions that happen during the meeting. Below are examples of how each aspect of a soul can be affected during a meeting:

• Qalb (Spiritual Heart): If the Qalab is spiritually healthy and not sick, it’ll be able to perceive the spiritual reality of what’s happening in a meeting and maybe be given insights (baseerah) that can be very beneficial to the team or organization. However, if the spiritual heart is sick with a spiritual disease such as envy or arrogance, it may filter through into the meeting in the form of office politics or toxic behavior.  
• Aql (Mind): If the mind is sound – not just mentally but spiritually sound – a person will use their Aql to make spiritually-intelligent decisions during the meeting. For example, instead of just performing a cost/benefit analysis of a project from a Dunya (wordly) perspective, they’ll consider the Akhira (hereafter) perspective of a project and its long term benefit, thus using their Aql to make a spiritually intelligent decision for this world and the next.
• Nafs (Self): Perhaps the part that is most ‘active’ in meetings is the Nafs (Self) which, if not disciplined, can be self-centered, territorial, and egotistic. We’ve all witnessed how the Nafs, if left unbridled by the Qalb and Aql, can wreak havoc in meetings. On the other hand, if we keep our nafs in check during meetings, we might go through tough conversations without feeling threatened or blamed by what is said.
• Spirit (Ruh): This is the antidote to the Nafs. The pure part of your soul that wants to pull you up to higher meaning and purpose. It wants to connect to the Divine and heavenly realities instead of earthly desires. It can be idealistic at times – but it’s precisely this idealism that makes it an important voice to hear during meetings.
• Body: Let’s not forget the physical side of our being – our bodies – which are the vessels of our soul. If we give our body its right – with rest, nutrition, and exercise – we’ll show up to a meeting in a much better state than if we are tired or unhealthy (We cover the topic on how to take care of your body in detail in our Wellness Masterclass). Also, simple things like dressing up and being well-groomed for a meeting will impact your performance and presence during the meeting vs. showing up scruffy (or wearing your PJs on zoom calls!).

Suppose we accept that meetings are spaces where souls meet and that each soul has different aspects which can be affected in various ways during a meeting. In that case, we need to design our meetings as conducive environments where we bring the best aspects of our soul to a meeting and reduce the triggers that may bring out the negative aspects of our soul. 

Moreover, let’s not forget that in addition to managing our souls, we have an archenemy that wants to negatively influence us, whom we need to be aware of – and that is Satan (Read the article: How Satan Impacts Workplace Productivity).

Practical Tips to Design Meetings for Barakah

If you’ve been following our blog for a while, you’ll know that we advocate for individuals and organizations to adopt Barakah Culture instead of Hustle Culture.

Barakah Culture is God-centered, hereafter focused, and purpose and impact-driven. Whereas Hustle Culture is ego-centered, worldly-focused, and material results-driven.

If we want to fuse our meetings with Barakah – we first need to adopt the Barakah Culture worldview as a team and then design our meetings as opportunities for whole soul development.

Below are ideas for designing such meetings that we brainstormed with our community members during our weekly calls (a meeting that was in itself full of Barakah!).  

We collected ideas on what to do before, during, and after the meeting to maximize Barakah – whether we meet in-person or virtually. I summarize the key points from our discussion below:

Before the meeting 

• Set the intention for the meeting: Why are you conducting/attending the meetings? What’s the intention behind it? How can you level up your intention for the meeting, so it’s more God-centered, Akhira-focused, and purpose/impact driven? (Hint: Use the Barakah Journal to help you level up your intention for the meeting).
• What Barakah Culture mindset, value, or ritual will you fuse into the meeting? You can use our Barakah Culture Cards as a tool to help you pick a mindset, value, or ritual to practice in the upcoming meeting. For example, if you decide to practice an “Abundant” mindset – you’ll be conscious of sharing your ideas and not hoarding information. 
• Schedule the meeting outside of prayer times: Make sure meetings don’t clash with prayer times and if for some reason you can’t avoid the clash, make sure that you schedule prayer breaks during the meeting or you inform the meeting host that you’ll need a 10-15 mins break for your prayers. Meetings should not be used as excuses to miss or delay prayers.
• “Tie your camel” and prepare for the meeting thoroughly: Don’t try to wing it at your meeting; it shows a lack of adab and respect for all attendees. If you’re the host, send the agenda early with relevant documentation. Make sure that the tech equipment and space are suitable for the meeting, etc. If you’re attending the meeting, read about what will be discussed during the meeting, have your own notes ready, and ask questions before the meeting if things are unclear.

During the meeting:

وعنه عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال‏: ‏ ‏”‏ما جلس قوم مجلساً لم يذكروا الله تعالى فيه، ولم يصلوا على نبيهم فيه، إلا كان عليهم ترة؛ فإن شاء عذبهم، وإن شاء غفر لهم‏”‏ ((رَوَاهُ التِّرمِذِيُّ وَقَالَ: “حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ”))‏.‏

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Whenever a group of people sit in a gathering in which they do not remember Allah the Exalted, nor supplicate to elevate the rank of their Prophet, such a gathering will be a cause of grief to them. If Allah wills, He will punish them, and if He wills He will forgive them.”

Al-Tirmidhi

• Attend the meeting in a state of spiritual purity: Right before the start of a meeting, I recommend that you make wudu (ablution), so you reduce the influence of Shaytaan upon you during the meeting. If you’re able to – ask your colleagues to do the same and come to the meeting with wudhu. If you have more time, pray 2 rakats and ask Allah for ease and facilitation during the meeting. Also, seek forgiveness often before the start of a meeting so your personal sins don’t impact the meeting outcome.
• Say Bismillah consciously: Start the meeting with an audible and conscious Bismillah – truly internalize that you’re starting this meeting “In the name of Allah”. If you can, after Bismillah, begin the meeting by thanking Allah (hamd) and sending peace and blessings upon Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) to add more Barakah to your meeting.  
• Start with a Mindful check-in: If you are the meeting host, ask all team members to check in and share where they are at a personal level. This helps you assess people’s emotions and spirituality and may inform how the meeting is conducted. E.g., If someone is having a bad day, as a leader, you can ease the pressure off them during the meeting until they are in a better state. (BONUS: You can try a Mindful Practice advocated by our Mindfulness Masterclass Instructor, Wadud Hassan. He asks attendees to take 3 deep breaths and then explore how they are arriving with their mind, body, and heart. 
• Be vigilant of Shaytaan: Be conscious of Shaytaan trying to create animosity between your team members or fuel anger and arrogance in the room. Saying “Audhu-billahi min ash-Shaytaan-in-Rajeem” when arguments rise helps – or asking teammates to change their positions if things get heated up can help.
• Make proper shura: The purpose of meetings is to discuss topics thoroughly and not force your ideas on the team. Make your case, but be open to changing your mind or adopting decisions you may not like. 

فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ ۖ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ ٱلْقَلْبِ لَٱنفَضُّوا۟ مِنْ حَوْلِكَ ۖ فَٱعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَٱسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِى ٱلْأَمْرِ ۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ

By an act of mercy from God, you [Prophet] were gentle in your dealings with them- had you been harsh or hard-hearted, they would have dispersed and left you- so pardon them and ask forgiveness for them. Consult with them about matters, then, when you have decided on a course of action, put your trust in God: God loves those who put their trust in Him.

Abdul Haleem 3:159

• Pause for Athan/Salah: I once attended a meeting with a leader of a large Islamic bank. When the athan went off – he went quiet and paused the meeting. After the athan, he asked that we take a break for Salah and resume the meeting after Salah. This was a  powerful example of Barakah Culture in an organizational setting.
• End the meeting with the kaffartul-Majlis dua: 

وعن أبى هريرة رضى الله عنه قال‏: ‏ قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ “‏من جلس في مجلس، فكثر فيه لغطه فقال قبل أن يقوم من مجلسه ذلك‏: ‏ سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك، أشهد أن لا إله إلا أنت، أستغفرك وأتوب إليك، إلا غفر له ما كان في مجلسه ذلك‏”‏ ((‏‏رَوَاهُ التِّرمِذِيُّ وَقَالَ حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صحيح)).‏

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Whoever sits in a gathering and indulges in useless talk and before getting up supplicates: ‘Subhanaka Allahumma wa bihamdika, ash-had an la ilaha illa Anta, astaghfirullah wa atubu ilaika (O Allah, You are free from every imperfection; praise be to You. I testify that there is no true god except You; I ask Your Pardon and turn to You in repentance),’ he will be forgiven for (the sins he may have intentionally or unintentionally committed) in that assembly.”

At-Tirmidhi

After the meeting

• Pray istikhara: At the end of the meeting, once you have all the key decisions, pray istikhara either as a team leader or an attendee on all the decisions made and ask Allah SWT for Barakah in those decisions.
• Thank people: Send a thank you note to people who impacted you during the meeting. Maybe they shared something that inspired you or went the extra mile with their part of the presentation. The thank-you doesn’t need to come from the team leader only; it can be amongst team members themselves – privately or publicly.
• Seek forgiveness: Sometimes, in meetings, we say or do something that may be inappropriate. Reach out to the person you may have unintentionally offended and seek their forgiveness. If it’s something that you feel impacted the whole team – write/speak to them individually or as a group and seek forgiveness. Don’t let Shaytaan run between you and cause enmity. 
• Give sincere naseeha and feedback: Sometimes, you may notice a behavior from someone they may not be aware of that negatively impacts the meeting, e.g., showing up late always, or rolling their eyes when someone disagrees with them, or constantly interrupting the speaker. After the meeting, speak to them privately about the behavior and how it impacts the meeting. Give them sincere naseeha regardless if they are the CEO or the youngest intern. 
• Take action and take responsibility for the decisions made in shura: When Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) conducted shura on what to do before the battle of Uhud (whether to stay in Madinah or leave the city walls). The decision was made to go out of Medina – which wasn’t his personal preference. However, once the decision was made, he put on his armor and prepared to leave. Even when the companions felt bad that they convinced the Prophet to do something that he didn’t prefer – he didn’t change his mind but committed to the decision made in shura.
• Pray for your team: After the meeting ends, and perhaps after your istikhara prayers, take time to pray for your team privately. Ask Allah to bless them, ease their affairs, inspire them, and not let Shaytaan come between you all. These duas will be the spiritual glue that will keep the team harmony together.
• Reflect and introspect: Take some time to reflect and hold yourself accountable for your performance during the meeting. Not only from a professional point of view but also from a spiritual point of view. How was your qalb during the meeting? How was your nafs? What can you do differently next time to improve your professional and spiritual performance? (Hint: Use the end-of-day reflections in the Barakah Journal to help you with this exercise).

The above is not an exhaustive list of things you can do to attract Barakah to a meeting. However, I hope it’ll inspire you and your team to start thinking of meetings not as dreaded time-wasters but as opportunities to cultivate Barakah for yourself and organizations, insha’Allah.

If you’re interested in cultivating Barakah Culture for your organization, get in touch with us to learn more about our faith-based productivity and leadership training for teams. 

The post When Souls Meet: How to fuse Barakah into your meetings? appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.

Khadijah is feeling overwhelmed these days as she is: 

• feeling stressed with what seems like a never ending TO-DO list 
• unable to focus 
• juggling between multiple roles, and 
• not feeling like she is enough for anyone in her relationships.

She realizes she needs to take care of herself but does not have enough time. She feels guilty for finding her release through binge eating or binge-watching on weeknights which means she’s sleeping later than usual and waking up tired. The entire cycle, night after night, is causing her to lose confidence in her ability to overcome this sense of overwhelm. This is starting to negatively affect the quality of her Salah, and her ability to perform well in her most important roles: both at work and home.

Omar, on the other hand, recently received a promotion, which means he’s moving up the career ladder. While responding to all the messages congratulating him on LinkedIn, he’s feeling a deep sense of dread. He fears the following consequences despite a higher income and a bigger role:

• more responsibility 
• nonstop meetings 
• late work hours, and 
• less time to do things that make him come alive i.e. attending a good Halaqa, reading a good book, playing with friends, and spending some undistracted quality time with the family.

Can you relate to either Khadijah or Omar or maybe both? How do you ground yourself when you are feeling overwhelmed? 

What is overwhelm and why do we feel overwhelmed often?

Overwhelm can be defined as the imbalance in your optimal quality of life: our spiritual, emotional, or physical wellness. Why does Overwhelm happen? According to Cognitive Neuroscientist Daniel Levitin, we are exposed to more information, activity, and focus areas than ever before in human history. This is clear when we begin to compare the recent past with the present. For example, in 1976, supermarkets stocked 9,000 items compared to 40,000 today. In 2011, Americans took in five times as much information every day as they did in 1986 –the equivalent of 175 newspapers! 

We live in continuous exposure to technology, information, and distractions but are unable to build our schedule and habits in a way that can limit continuous exposure. Setting boundaries is important as it allows us enough time to focus and transition between activities that are most important to us: such as prayer, meaningful work, family, or self-care.

Beyond that, we need silence, presence, reflection, contemplation, to engage in self-accountability, to course correct and build habits and activities that help us operate at our optimal self.  But, again, due to the continuous exposure of factors contributing to our overwhelm, most of us do not even know where to begin!

We, humans, are busier, more distracted, and juggling more than ever before in human history, and that also in a resurgent pandemic. As we approach the month of Rabi al-Awwal, what inspirations can we draw from the Prophet (peace be upon him)? How do we address our overwhelm through cultivating a Prophetic Heart? 

Overwhelm and its relationship to the nafs

One effective way to start addressing our overwhelm is to detox from technology and create intentional time to cultivate our awareness of God. During this time, we shift ourselves out of a life on autopilot or distractions towards higher awareness and presence with God. This shift teaches us to recognize when we are being led by our nafs, which is one of the root causes of overwhelm.

While addressing the external factors of life is necessary to address and regulate overwhelm, addressing our internal awareness and mindset is even more critical. By changing the mindset, and learning the tools to be closer to God, we can overcome the overwhelms in our life.

Prophetic practice confirms this notion that overwhelm can be cured through disciplining our own nafs. Our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) used to immediately seek refuge in God when he felt distressed or overwhelmed. He would say:

 يا حي يا قيوم ، برحمتك أستغيث ،  أصلح لي شأني كله ،  ولا تكلني إلى نفسي طرفة عين

Yaa Hayyu Yaa Qayyoom, bi Rahmatika astagheeth, Aslih lee sha’nee kullahu, wa laa takilni ilaa nafsi tarfata ‘aynin

O Ever Living, Ever Sustaining, In You Mercy do I seek refuge, in setting all my affairs right. Do not leave me to my ego for even a blink of an eye.

[Haakim]

Ibn Ata’Illah, a faqih and a Master of Islamic Spiritual Psychology addresses this in his Book of Wisdom: Kitab Al Hikam:

He wrote:

الغـافـل إذا أصبح يـنـظـر مـاذا يـفـعـل

 والـعـاقـل يـنـظـر مـاذا يـفـعـل الله به

When the forgetful gets up in the morning, he reflects on what he is going to do, whereas the intelligent sees what God is doing with him.

Since the forgetful man’s gaze is on his own capability, he attributes all his actions to his own self. Allah most high therefore assigns him to his own ego. Thus, all his affairs become difficult and he becomes entrapped in numerous problems. But, for the true believer in Allah’s oneness, the most difficult task does not overwhelm him because his gaze is fixed on Allah, the Most High.

– Commentary, Kitab Al Hikam

Let us apply this mindset shift to the challenges Khadijah and Omar and many of us are experiencing: It is not I but God, who is really in control and He is the Master of all my affairs. This shift can be profound and create a deep impact on lightening the “burden” and easing the overwhelm. 

This is also where intentional living with higher awareness and consciousness of Allah’s (SWT) presence and assistance in our life begins to shine through and we accept our role to serve Allah with spiritual excellence and flow. We leave the results to Him and become more focused on showing up as our best self to please Allah (SWT). 

Shifting out of our distracted, overwhelmed lower self to our intentional, aware, God-conscious best-self can be the antidote we need spiritually and emotionally to respond effectively to the overwhelm of modern life. Let us explore this in the life of our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him).

Exploring the Prophet’s heart at the lowest point in his life

Once Ayesha (ra) asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) whether Uhud was the toughest day in his life. Our Prophet (peace be upon him) replied in the negative and mentioned that it was actually the day of Taif – the day he was driven out with a mob pelting him with stones from a mountain city, 55 miles away from Makkah. 

Why was Taif so difficult? To answer this question, think of the most difficult problem you had in your life when you felt you were at the lowest point of your life. And at that moment – remove the most important pillars of support from your life – no parent, no spouse, no sibling to support you emotionally! 

The year the Prophet (peace be upon him) went to Taif, he first lost his parent figure: his uncle Abu Talib. After a few weeks, he lost his beloved wife Khadijah (ra), the most important pillar of support – the first person to affirm his Prophethood, become a Muslim, and spend all her wealth for his cause, the mother of the queen of Jannah i.e. Fatima, and the grandmother of the leaders of all youth in Jannah i.e. Hasan and Husain. He followed these two deep losses with a mission to Taif to find a refuge for his community.

Instead of finding relief, the Prophet (peace be upon him) was mocked by the chieftains of Taif and followed by a mob petting him with stones for miles until the blessed body of the Prophet (peace be upon him) was bleeding. 

As the Prophet (peace be upon him) finally sat down after this utter humiliation, how did he process his overwhelm? How did he react to this most difficult day of his life? What were the qualities of his heart that we can emulate to pick ourselves back up from when we are feeling low?

Let us explore the qualities of the Prophet’s heart below through the H.E.A.R.T. Mindfulness Model we introduced on the Productive Muslim blog before (click here to read the article) and how you can apply this model to deal with your personal overwhelming situation: 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) thrived with compassion. He achieved so much during that moment of strength and this is reflective in what came afterward — the entire tribe would later become Muslim and from their progeny comes a man named Muhammad bin Qasim Thaqafi, who conquers Sindh and brings Islam to the South Asian diaspora opening the migration of Islam and Muslims to South Asia. Even I, the author of this article, owe my Islam to this connected thread of history!

Most of us do not need to experience our lowest day, but just a simple disappointment is enough for us to lose our capacity for kindness.

Yet, once the Prophet found his healing in the present moment and resolve through mindfulness, purpose, and gratitude, look how he rose with patience, thriving with compassion.

Addressing Khadijah’s overwhelm with the H.E.A.R.T Model

Let’s take this a step further and apply the H.E.A.R.T. Model to Khadijah’s challenge with her overwhelm:

Mindfulness Masterclass this Rabi Al Awwal

Mindfulness, purpose, gratitude, patience, and compassion – this Rabi Al Awwal, we will learn to practice these Prophetic qualities through the Mindfulness Masterclass, where we work through and learn practical and immediately applicable tools through the intersection of neuroscience and Islamic Spiritual Psychology.

This is our 5th cohort of the Mindfulness Masterclass and we’ll be joined by alumni who have felt their lives transformed as a result of this Masterclass.

“This is a life-changing class… I’m more present in my Salat, I’m practicing mindfulness on daily basis using some of Br. Wadud’s practices, and I’m approaching life from being energy rather than doing energy, AND… I’m able to accomplish more!”

Amal Essader

During the 6 week Masterclass, you’ll invest in your spiritual and emotional wellbeing and learn how to cultivate a Prophetic H.E.A.R.T. We’ll cover the following:

H – Heal in His Presence

Shifting from living on autopilot to intentional living.

• Understanding the H.E.A.R.T. Model.
• Understanding neuroscience vs. the Islamic concept of mindfulness.
• Exploring the scientific benefits of mindfulness and meditation.
• Acquiring both neuroscience and Islamic tools for training your focus.
• Practically learning the methods of “Muraqaba” or meditation of three Islamic scholars: Al Muhasibi, Ibn Qayim, and Ibn Ata’Illah.
• Understanding the science-based mindfulness meditation.

E – Engage with Purpose

From mindfulness of God to deep awareness and actualization of your purpose in life. How to develop the resilience—that’s connected to excellence, optimism, and affirmation of faith and prayer—to achieve your goals.

• The power of purpose both Islamically and through evidence-based modern research.
• Developing a statement of purpose connected to your personal core values.
• The mindset needed to refocus when you steer off your purpose.
• Experiencing the “purpose meditation” to claim your worth and focus on your goals despite failures/setbacks.

A – Achieve with Gratitude

Evolving from mindfulness to being grateful to the Bestower. Linking gratitude to neuroscience, productivity, and peak performance.

• The Quranic and Prophetic principles and promise connected to gratitude.
• The neuroscience-based benefits of gratitude.
• Experiencing a “mindfulness-based” gratitude meditation.
• The concept and steps of reframing to upgrade from scarcity to abundance-mindset.

R – Rise with Patience and Humility

How to rise beyond the challenges of this world by welcoming and regulating difficult emotions. Discovering our internal selves. Exploring your strengths, weaknesses, and triggers.

• The science behind emotions.
• Practicing a body scan meditation to be aware of your emotions.
• Imam Ghazzali’s spiritual self-awareness meditation.
• How journaling can be used as a tool for self-awareness.
• Tools for regulating difficult thoughts, emotions, and practicing patience.

T – Thrive with Compassion

How mindfulness, awareness, and deep connection to The Most Merciful God fuels the way we show up and connect with the world – starting with family. Overcoming the stresses of interpersonal relationships, communication, and leadership.

• The emerging evidence-based research on compassion and its effect on leadership.
• Differentiating between empathy and compassion.
• Practicing “compassion meditation”.
• The steps of the Prophetic Model of Compassion.

Wadud Hassan, co-founder of the upcoming Muslim Mindfulness app: Muraqaba

Sign up for the Mindfulness Masterclass.

Whether you join the Mindfulness Masterclass or not, stay ahead of overwhelm by shifting from auto-pilot to awareness, and by cultivating presence and inner calm in the practices you already have:

Spiritually: Make a slow and mindful wudhu to wash off your stress and prime yourself to be more present and grounded when you stand for Salah.

Emotionally: Take a few deep breaths with Dhikr when you are on the go, take a few minutes to transition between tasks, practice silence every day to take perspective, forgive, and let go.

Physically: Disconnect from your phone and immerse yourself in nature or just the present moment when taking a walk or doing your daily exercise.

Socially: Leave your phone away from the family musallah, living, or dining area, and connect with the family with all your heart while praying, playing, eating, or reading a book together.

And don’t forget the power of du’a! Incorporate in the du’a of the Prophet (peace be upon him) to seek refuge and shelter in the mercy and awareness of Allah (SWT). 

 يا حي يا قيوم ، برحمتك أستغيث ،  أصلح لي شأني كله ،  ولا تكلني إلى نفسي طرفة عين

Yaa Hayyu Yaa Qayyoom, bi Rahmatika astagheeth, Aslih lee sha’nee kullahu, wa laa takilni ilaa nafsi tarfata ‘aynin

O Ever Living, Ever Sustaining, In You Mercy do I seek refuge, in setting all my affairs right. Do not leave me to my ego for even a blink of an eye. [Haakim]

The post Addressing Overwhelm with a Prophetic H.E.A.R.T. appeared first on ProductiveMuslim.com.